Thread: human nature?

First of all, selfish and self-centred are those that haven't grown up. It is indeed a "natural" trait of children to be self-centred. Upon growing up, however, people grow inside and realise the meaning of respect, care and friendship.
Also, you're angry at people "laughing" at you? And you stick around people that aren't really your friends?
You are, yourself, not seeing the "big picture". You see the picture in front of you but not the part you play in it.

There is a fine balance between being the "nice guy" - by which I assume you mean being kind and caring without thinking of yourself - and being evil at heart - thinking only of your own gains and discarding others.

So you see yourself as the former? The kind and caring selfless person?
And these not-quite-friends are the opposite? Selfish and evil?

Well, why not stand in the middle? Take the best of both "sides". Find the balance of care and ambition, of kindness to others and self-respect.
Even that balance shifts different in different people. Some can take it too far and under the disguise of "justice" for good commit something evil. And some might remain too passive, while being kind and caring.

Find the balance for yourself and things will change. Someone "laughs" at you? Why would you ignore them? Harm them, have revenge - shift the balance to evil. Or, prove yourself through actions, not words - shift it to good. It's all up to you.

Also, you're angry at people "laughing" at you? And you stick around people that aren't really your friends?
You are, yourself, not seeing the "big picture". You see the picture in front of you but not the part you play in it.

I will say this, when i am at these parties, they is a group of 5 or 6 people who i really call my friends outta the 30 or so there. I am not going to isolate myself from the world because some people are ignorant and like you say dont see the big picture. I just honestly do not understand why they are like that.

My real friends are there for me but it is just the ignorance of stupid people who are jealous that really bugs me. I am going to continue to go out and see these people because like i say i am not going to sit on my ass in my room on a sat night when my real friends are out, i just wish people would take a step back

I should of said this, it is really mostly guys doing this, when i walked into this party last night all the girls were screaming my name when i walked in because they were excited to see me

here is a poem i wrote that somewhat describes how i feel

"its a shame that more people dont take a step back
and realize they dont lack
the knowledge to succeed
but the seed of greed
blossumed to green
in their hearts
thats where it all starts"
all rights reserved haha

Originally Posted by dropout14

Why are people Fake? Why do they crave so much attention they will turn there back on you thinking you will never notice?

I feel like outta the 20 people i usually see on the weekends i am the only one sitting back looking at the big picture...the others think they see it..but they dont.

I dont understand

People dp not understand me or the way i think...they think im stupid.....when really they dont take the time to fully understand what im saying

What really bugs me is when someone will act like your their best friend when your around and have something for them to gain..but when your not there already in person they will completely ignore you

You see i dont want to have these people as my friends, I am just noticing thats how everyone is. I am tired of being "the nice guy" and having people walk all over me and treat me like shit...but i dont want to be one of them either.

I am very interested in discussing why people are like this

Is it human nature to be completely selfish, or are these people in a way ganging up on me and putting me to the outskirts because they are jealous of the way i am.

Honestly i think it is the second. I am very attractive and one of the nicest people you will ever meet, i think that really intimidates alot of people

Another thing, why do people take the stupidest default you have and make it into something for them to just laugh about?

I know i should ignore these people but when it is literally every friend you have besides one or two, what can you really do about it? I am not going to isolate myself from the world because i am scarred.

I went through this stage years ago, starting in high school. I know how it feels. These people you are describing are shallow. They get their joy for superficiality and using other people. Strangely enough, these are the kinds of friends I have today also. The good part is their shallow personality is their weakness.

You have the advantage of being able to see people for what they are, and you should cherrish that. DON'T try to change yourself because it sucks right now. That will only cause more turmoil for you, and it will make people unsure of who you really are. You are Mr. Nice Guy. Be that, and play it smart. You need to start using your smarts to your advantage. Once you understand how these people work, you can manipulate the situation. I know that sounds awful, but it may be your only choice. I can't give you advice on how to do that, because you have different friends than I had, but if you commit to noticing how these people function, you can use it to your advantage.

Play your confidence. If you don't have it, fake it. These people respond to it, and if you hit them to the core with snappy remarks, they will be intimidated. It sounds to me like you are a more quiet and less outwardly emotional kid than the others, and you can use this to your advantage, too. If you play confidence with quietness, you can come of as having a rock hard "cool".

The results of doing this can be very intimidating to you. People may "avoid" you, but that can mean they are being submissive. It's important to be nice, so people aren't freaked out by you.

Thats about all I can say, and its pretty hard to put into words. You're obviously upset by your current situation, so use what you can to your advantage. Find your nitche, and it will work out.

If your honest first impression of the situation is that they are mean to you because they are jealous, then the most likely answer is that they are mean to you because you are a pompous prick. You may think you are a nice guy but if in your brain you think they have something to be jealous of you over without knowing what they actually think, you probably aren't all that nice of a person.

xaqaria hahaha no dude your totally wrong, i am not a prick like that. People are jealous of alot of shit about me and and i def know these people. They are intimidated by me just being a good person and put me down because they know that it gets to me. If you knew me you would see.

You seem to be somewhat like how I act. I'm known as the nice quiet guy. I have a tenancy to talk less when there are bigger numbers of people around, and if there are I will talk to the people who I think are my good friends more than anyone else. People think I'm nice because I'll usually go out of my way for people or help people out as much as I can. All my life I've "studied" how people act, react, and how they think, I know it sounds creepy, but I'm always thinking about things and looking at how people react and how they come to conclusions. I've become very good at knowing what kind of person someone is just by talking to them for a minute or two. Lately I've been noticing the hypocrisies that people say and do, it's like everyone I see is doing or saying something hypocritical.

Now about you, you say that people don't step back and take a look at the big picture, but you need to see it this way: not everyone is looking at the same picture. Do you try and fully understand the people you talk to? have you been there all their life and seen the upbringing? (these are the hypocrisies that I tend to notice) People come from different paths in life, and see things differently than others, I do think that jealously is human nature thing, it definitely seems that way to me. I can't explain how, because I really don't know. I'd like to say more ( I could write pages about how people are) but I have to get some sleep for work tomorrow.

i do honestly fully understand them, and i do the same thing you so when you say you study people. Thats why i just dont understand why sooo many people are like this

We're just animals... therefore "human" nature is much like that of the beasts... survival, indulgence, apathy for others, and a desire for personal gain. We mask this all with our advanced communication and technology, but really its just a great means at achieving self-sustenance. Its almost worst than animals, because we have the terrible ability of manipulation at our disposal... since most people fail to stop and simply think for themselves, they are just following instincts, with codes of ethics much like animals.

A theory was presented in the movie Waking Life, that eventually, as the human race grows older, it will begin to evolve mentally into a race of loyalty, kindness, creativity and intelligence. But that will be a long time from now, and with media these days it appears that we might even go backwards before we go forwards... but its really the only hope I have for any kind of human ethics.

I know i should ignore these people but when it is literally every friend you have besides one or two, what can you really do about it? I am not going to isolate myself from the world because i am scarred.

Quit being scared. These people, the fakes, it is highly doubtful, unless they change, that they will continue to give half a shit about you forever. They're much too immersed in an imaginary and temporary world of their own.

Upbringings and mindsets aside, if someone is genuinely shallow right down to the core(which is just as much a possibility as someone of pure kindness), its best you don't waste your time... they care too much of themselves and nothing of anyone else, they will surround themselves with people just the same who will come and go, and won't see any difference between you and them. Every day you waste on plastic backstabbers is more time lost towards a potentially meaningful relationship.

One day, I had an awakening, and lost the majority of my friends. I've got six or seven now, total, and I've connected with them beyond any common comprehension. Its permanent and much more worthwhile. But, if you wish to surround yourself with numbers as opposed to the depth of true human connection, so be it... it seem a very long time before it does, but it will come down some day.

Yes, you're the one, true intellectual swimming in a sea shallow minded, self centered human beings. How I wish I were just like you.

is this supposed to be sarcastic?

Originally Posted by Bosco

Why are people Fake? Why do they crave so much attention they will turn there back on you thinking you will never notice?

I feel like outta the 20 people i usually see on the weekends i am the only one sitting back looking at the big picture...the others think they see it..but they dont.

I dont understand

People dp not understand me or the way i think...they think im stupid.....when really they dont take the time to fully understand what im saying

What really bugs me is when someone will act like your their best friend when your around and have something for them to gain..but when your not there already in person they will completely ignore you

You see i dont want to have these people as my friends, I am just noticing thats how everyone is. I am tired of being "the nice guy" and having people walk all over me and treat me like shit...but i dont want to be one of them either.

I am very interested in discussing why people are like this

Is it human nature to be completely selfish, or are these people in a way ganging up on me and putting me to the outskirts because they are jealous of the way i am.

Honestly i think it is the second. I am very attractive and one of the nicest people you will ever meet, i think that really intimidates alot of people

Another thing, why do people take the stupidest default you have and make it into something for them to just laugh about?

I know i should ignore these people but when it is literally every friend you have besides one or two, what can you really do about it? I am not going to isolate myself from the world because i am scarred.

I don't know, maybe its because you seem kinda arrogant, particularly from this post:

"I am very attractive and one of the nicest people you will ever meet, i think that really intimidates alot of people"

" i am the only one sitting back looking at the big picture...the others think they see it..but they dont."

"People are jealous of alot of shit about me and and i def know these people. They are intimidated by me just being a good person"

Saying stuff like that doesn't make people like you.

Originally Posted by Omicron

I don't know, maybe its because you seem kinda arrogant, particularly from this post:

"I am very attractive and one of the nicest people you will ever meet, i think that really intimidates alot of people"

" i am the only one sitting back looking at the big picture...the others think they see it..but they dont."

"People are jealous of alot of shit about me and and i def know these people. They are intimidated by me just being a good person"

Saying stuff like that doesn't make people like you.

shit bud sorry, when you know your not ugly and you are a nice person, and you actually do sit back and watch people that are completely ignorant to the big picture, you notice people are intimidated by good people,
this is not shit i say to my friends, i would never do that, but i do see it

also i wrote this post almost a year ago, since that time i learned how to deal with people like them, you just gotta let them do what they want and worry about yourself, people are pricks * cough**cough*

Originally Posted by Bosco

xaqaria hahaha no dude your totally wrong, i am not a prick like that. People are jealous of alot of shit about me and and i def know these people. They are intimidated by me just being a good person and put me down because they know that it gets to me. If you knew me you would see.

Is it lonely up on that mountain?

Originally Posted by Bosco

shit bud sorry, when you know your not ugly and you are a nice person, and you actually do sit back and watch people that are completely ignorant to the big picture, you notice people are intimidated by good people,
this is not shit i say to my friends, i would never do that, but i do see it

also i wrote this post almost a year ago, since that time i learned how to deal with people like them, you just gotta let them do what they want and worry about yourself, people are pricks * cough**cough*

But do you act like how you're talking now, around those people? Or did you, should I say.


Because I don't think this sort of attitude makes anyone like you at all.


Did you act like you were above them somehow?

no, i do not blurt out emotions of that matter to people, thats why i brought it up here, the only reason i am being completely honest here is because i dont know any of you guys, i am not a conceited person. yea i may say im good looking on here but that is not being conceited, its being honest.

Originally Posted by Bosco

no, i do not blurt out emotions of that matter to people, thats why i brought it up here, the only reason i am being completely honest here is because i dont know any of you guys, i am not a conceited person. yea i may say im good looking on here but that is not being conceited, its being honest.

Ok I know you don't say it. but do you act like you are above them at all.

no i dont, neither did i back then, i was and still am at some points overly "trusting" of certain people, i always forgive and forget and go with the flow....seems like the way people act is just their "human nature" and they will never change
i really am not a conceited person,if you were to meet me i can not say for sure we would get along but i am very sociable***. life is too short to be conceited and not meet and get along with everyone

Originally Posted by Bosco

xaqaria hahaha no dude your totally wrong, i am not a prick like that. People are jealous of alot of shit about me and and i def know these people. They are intimidated by me just being a good person and put me down because they know that it gets to me. If you knew me you would see.

Most people i have found out are like that, atleast most guys. Even if you cuss them out and tell them you will punch them in the face if they keep on doing it, or politly tell them to stop they threaten you back, or ignore you politly asking to stop. I'm ready to quit my job because of this. I guess it's also my own doing, i havn't kicked their ass yet, and they piss me off that i start insulting them.

Originally Posted by LucidFlanders

Most people i have found out are like that, atleast most guys. Even if you cuss them out and tell them you will punch them in the face if they keep on doing it, or politly tell them to stop they threaten you back, or ignore you politly asking to stop. I'm ready to quit my job because of this. I guess it's also my own doing, i havn't kicked their ass yet, and they piss me off that i start insulting them.

F U M F

Honestly Bosco it sounds to me like you have a somewhat narcistic personality. There's certainly nothing wrong with being confident, but when it leads you to be paranoid about your friends' jealousy you might be taking it too far. People are very seldom motivated by feelings of envy. People's perceptions of jealousy are often projections of their own feelings, usually arising from a sense that people aren't treating them as they are entitled to be treated. A narcisist's idea that they possess special qualities(such as attractiveness) and that other people can't relate to them is characteristic of the personality. I'm not saying that you don't have good qualities that you should be proud of, but maybe they're not as important or remarkable to others as they are to you. You've got to try to look at things from other people's perspectives. If it seems like other people just don't get you, maybe it's just that they have a different perspective and you need to communicate with them more before you can expect them to accept what you're saying. You've also got to be comfortable with the possibility that you're wrong. Everyone is wrong at some point, we are all fallible. If you assert yourself aggressively in social situations, other people might see you as abrasive or arrogant, especially if you are too demanding of them. This might cause them to act more coolly towards you and you interpret this as jealousy. Just try to be nicer and more accomodating towards people and remember that you are a much bigger figure in you own "big picture" than you are in others'.

Originally Posted by Bosco

shit bud sorry, when you know your not ugly and you are a nice person, and you actually do sit back and watch people that are completely ignorant to the big picture, you notice people are intimidated by good people,
this is not shit i say to my friends, i would never do that, but i do see it

also i wrote this post almost a year ago, since that time i learned how to deal with people like them, you just gotta let them do what they want and worry about yourself, people are pricks * cough**cough*

They sure are.

Originally Posted by Bosco

Why are people Fake? Why do they crave so much attention they will turn there back on you thinking you will never notice?

I feel like outta the 20 people i usually see on the weekends i am the only one sitting back looking at the big picture...the others think they see it..but they dont.

I dont understand

People dp not understand me or the way i think...they think im stupid.....when really they dont take the time to fully understand what im saying

What really bugs me is when someone will act like your their best friend when your around and have something for them to gain..but when your not there already in person they will completely ignore you

You see i dont want to have these people as my friends, I am just noticing thats how everyone is. I am tired of being "the nice guy" and having people walk all over me and treat me like shit...but i dont want to be one of them either.

I am very interested in discussing why people are like this

Is it human nature to be completely selfish, or are these people in a way ganging up on me and putting me to the outskirts because they are jealous of the way i am.

Honestly i think it is the second. I am very attractive and one of the nicest people you will ever meet, i think that really intimidates alot of people

Another thing, why do people take the stupidest default you have and make it into something for them to just laugh about?

I know i should ignore these people but when it is literally every friend you have besides one or two, what can you really do about it? I am not going to isolate myself from the world because i am scarred.

*sigh* i agree with you completely and i have yet to figure this out...i have been thinking about this for about seven years now and i don't think i am much closer to the answer than when i realized this morbid fact.I have only three friends now because i refuse to speak to people who act like that openly.they all think like that, but there are some relatively decent people.(a select few)wish you luck on this puzzle.