Only Stupid Evil People Use Spoons

**O'nus** · 11-26-2007 03:57 AM

Anyone who uses spoons is evil.

How do I know this?

Consider that, in the medieval times, evil emperor's of the cult of Malta always drank blood with a ritualistic spoon. From that day, Pagans adapted the ritual and continued to drink blood with spoons and kill people with spoons. Apparently, because it was more difficult to kill with a spoon, it was more rewarding and prideful to be able to kill with one.

In the book, "Tool of the Devil", it is explained that only evil people would possibly consider using a spoon. Yet again, another testament that spoons are evil.

Ever notice that you have to use a spoon in order to prepare many drugs? When the person is first introduced their drug-addicted friends, it is the spoon they see first and then the drug. When they see the spoon, it illicits evil and the inclination to be evil. What follows is an incarnation of evil using the spoon for all activities.

A spoon is made of metal and so are knives and other weapons of death. Clearly there is a reason for this - spoons are evil.

In a recent study of evil people at the Canadian Mental Health Institute, we tested the criminally insane and their favorite utensil, we tested 100 criminally insane convicts. We had them isolated in a room with only a table and a spoon on the table. Every single person was interested in the spoon and picked it up to inspect it! Why? Because they are criminally insane and only the criminally insane would use a spoon.

In another research study considering the type of utensils used before a murderer kills someone, it was found that 78% of murderers killed someone after using a spoon. Likely to drink blood!

Hitler and Satan use spoons. Thus, spoons are evil. Also, in Mark 23:17 it doth say, "And Jesus said, 'nay, do not useth the spooneth for it isth the most evileth thingth evah!"

Spoons are evil!

Spoons are the antecedent pulchritudinous sesquipedalian invariably deterring condominial malassimilation reposession sancrosanctity of evil!

If spoons were evil, then evil people would use them. Evil people do use spoons. Therefore, spoons are evil.

Spoons are pathetic, cold, steel, heartless, and have no intention of wondering how you feel or thinking twice about murdering your dog.

Products have been created to protect people against spoons:
Spoonguard: http://www.rathergood.com/spoonguard/

If you can find any arguement against the following, you are probably a dumbass and don't know what you are talking about - go kill yourself before posting. Oh, and you're probably a pedophile too.

I hope this has been enlightening. What do you think...?
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