Thread: Religious Beliefs and Relationships

I've run into a problem I've never encountered before in my life. Although I've been in love with a girl who has drastically different beliefs than I do, I never thought about how it would affect a long-term relationship, in fact, I would have looked at it more as a learning experience so I can surround myself with different people. Recently, I have discovered that it is quite possibly this entire time the only thing that's been on her mind is that I am a non-believer.

We were having some kind of conversation one day (I forgot what about) and I said to her, "Our religious differences are the greatest divide between us and it's saddening sometimes." and she replies, "Yeah, and that's the main reason why I wouldn't even consider a relationship with you." I was incredibly shocked.

I was never really a Christian, and my break away from faith was quite painful, so I might be able to understand how someone's beliefs can influence every decision they make.

Now, I doubt that every Christian will have "faith or no faith" as the #1 aspect to look for in a person and there are probably all levels of tolerance in regards to religious differences. As an atheist, I couldn't care less about someone's beliefs unless they felt the need to rub it off on everything.

It is important to note that this girl has lived for 17 years in the same home in rural Texas and has been attending church twice a week for a decade and is regularly involved in church activities. It just never crossed my mind that this would matter so much.

I remember a painful night at church when our youth minister basically said that if you're not with God, if you're not saved, you're going to hell. And yes, that was pretty close to his exact words. I can see why the girl finds my non-beliefs to be very important when it comes to choosing a partner. She also thinks peak oil and all these global problems are a sign that the Rapture is near...quite devoted.

I wonder if anyone else has had any experiences with this kind of situation in their own life? We all live in differing parts of world and I'm interested in how people handle their beliefs differently when it comes to human relationships [romantic or non-romantic].

Also, it never mattered to me, but is a deep, long-term relationship possible with someone with differing beliefs? I know that some people will say they are a believer, but they are extremely tolerant about other's beliefs and don't treat differences as an important factor.

It just frustrates me that I am consistently viewed as a "lost puppy" and people view me with both contempt and pity.