Non-muslim dating muslim

[Tracy123]

Im not sure if anyone has wrote about this before but i was dating a muslim guy, we met in a bar he was really nice decided to give it a go, he asked me out etc to make a long story short were dating for 9 months. He kept saying he didnt want religion to be a problem then he stopped drinking, which dosent bother me at all i think it was better no fear of him getting drunk and cheating not saying drink makes you do this but it was just one less thing to think about, i also gave up drink i got sick of it and feel much better now. So when Ramadan started boom never heard from him again just like that he is able to stop txtning calling i found it really hard i missed him so much thought about him every minute and i was heartbroken but wanted to respect his privacy because i know ramadan is a very important time. So i gave him his peace and waited for him to contact me....., Then 2 weeks after ramadan i txt him saying why didnt you finish it with me instead of me wondering and worrying what had happened. He said his feelings still hadnt changed but he could no longer have a girlfriend. I just dont understand how he could do that knowing his religion much better than me why did he start something he knew could never work..... so im the one dropped heartbroken mis-lead and humiliated because i know people would have said to me i told ya so........ I believed it would work have no issues with Islam think it is a beautiful religion i just dont understand why do muslim guys get easily mis-lead and start living how they shouldnt....date drink etc and then when they decide to be good they hurt people innocent wemon......... Sorry for ranting just having a hard time understanding this whole situation ive never felt like this before about someone i fell in love and feel totally mis-lead.... It seems so easy for him to just forget about me and he didnt even give me a reason......... i would be interested to get anyones point of view on these situations im not the type to say aw well ill just go and get another because i still have very strong feelings for him the thoughts of being with someone else makes me feel numb. i dont want to be with anyone else............

[Mes Tarrant]

Please, please use commas and periods in the future. It was very difficult for me to read that paragraph. Anyway, I was in a similar situation with this Brahman guy. Why do they start something, knowing full well their upbringing or whatever doesn't allow it? Because they're idiots. He probably wasn't expecting things to go as far with you as they did. Do you know for sure that he stopped seeing you because of his religion? One thing I gather about Muslims is they feel a strong connection to or bond with fellow Muslims. Perhaps some of his buddies pointed out that you didn't fit into this cult thing they've got going on. Meh.

[Tracy123]

oops sorry about that commas and periods........... we spoke when i txt him and he wanted to be with me, then heard nothing again for 2 weeks and he said he dosent know what he wants now......hes clearly confused. i thought about that too that maybe his friends are saying stay away because one did in the past. one of his friends was in a relationship that didnt work and was advising him to stay away because were all the same. I just find it hard to understand how they can stop everything i would find it so hard i wouldnt be with someone in the first place if i thought there would be issues....

[Mes Tarrant]

I just find it hard to understand how they can stop everything i would find it so hard i wouldnt be with someone in the first place if i thought there would be issues.... I know, right?? *sigh* Just give him time to figure out what he wants, but be firm and demand a coherent explanation for why he has done this to you. You deserve one!

[Siиdяed]

Yeah. Stay confident, this is clearly something that he feels he has to deal with, and clearly isn't your fault. Move on if you have to. Men are dirt. Yay! Girl-power! ...I started my post seriously.

[Tracy123]

I wont be getting an explaination from him......i tried and he dosent even know what he wants ive never felt this bad over a man fair enough i know when things are going wrong and can accept that and move one, but this was different we got on soo well it was like we knew each other and im finding it hard to forgive and forget..........and walk away like it never happened ......i guess i have no choice but to................

[Tracy123]

Yeah. Stay confident, this is clearly something that he feels he has to deal with, and clearly isn't your fault. Move on if you have to. Men are dirt. Yay! Girl-power! ...I started my post seriously. ha ha thanks your right girl power i wish i was stronger but i guess time will help me!!!!

[cuddleyperson]

One reason may be that his family wish for an arranged marriage for him. Did you meet his parents? If not maybe he never told them about you because of fear of being disowned by them. ( arranged marriage has nothing t do mus Islam, its culture) Or maybe he is a very strict Muslim and so his religion and his feelings are in conflict. Since obviously you are going to hell in his religion. Just like when a strong Christian has problems if their partner isn't religious and often can't be with them because of it. It's a shame religion must ruin love, ah well I'm sure with time and knowledge, we will grow out of our infancy, and what a glorious age it will be.

[NewDreamer]

I can't explain his actions, but I know you do deserve a proper explanation, that is the very least of what he can give to you, If you cant get that from him, I hope that you will be able to excercise forgiveness , because truly to hold such sadness inside just hurts, You need to be able to forgive him and yourself, and move on when the time is right It is sad sometimes in this world that love is a hard thing to maintain, when you consider that it is the very essence of our own souls, I wish for you to find more love in your life, it never comes from just one place, and I wish for you much happiness As humans sometimes we all look in the wrong places for happiness and invest it into different people or things, but in truth , before looking around you for love, look inwards and realise it was within you the whole time Namaste - The divine in me honours and blesses the divine in you -

[shark!]

what a loser, the churchs and religions are full of them! He'd rather have a month of not eating at certain times than a gf! lol. I'd say, try to break him out of the patterns his parents designed....and if he can't even do that! can't even think for himself...run away from him forever... but since he can't even talk to you about it, he probably as some major underlying problems mentally.

[NewDreamer]

what a loser, the churchs and religions are full of them! He'd rather have a month of not eating at certain times than a gf! lol. I'd say, try to break him out of the patterns his parents designed....and if he can't even do that! can't even think for himself...run away from him forever... but since he can't even talk to you about it, he probably as some major underlying problems mentally. First of all, comparing this guy whether or not he is a loser, and than comparing it to Churches and Religion was unecessary.. Just like in every , culture, country, religion, ...whatever, there are good and bad people, perhaps he is a loser, But that would be like calling my friend a "Catholic Idiot", he may be an idiot at the personality level, but the add on of Catholic is just added on discrimination and rather unecessary Some people do things to practice their faith, maybe you dont understand why he would not eat for an extended period of time, maybe some people would not understand why some people pray to a god, among other things. but its nothing to judge or laugh at, Its his choice to follow his religion, and nobody has a right to try to "Break him out of the patterns" , its his choice what he believes, and his choice to change his beliefs and first of all, how do we even know his parents have forced his beliefs on him? I dont hear any mention of see any clear proof of that, so to bring his parents into this is rather unecessary too... I have a friend who is from India, his religon is Sikh, some may come to the conclusion that his religion was forced upon him , he even partakes in fasting too, but no he loves his religion and partakes in it of his own freewill.. "he probably has some major underylying mental problems"... sorry , but you are just making too many judgements based on very little known I dont agree with what he did, but I myself dont know for what reasons he has done this, so I am of no right to judge him for it So please just consider all the rather snappy judgements you made, and realise that sometimes us as humans can make judgement too quickly... Namaste

[shark!]

: D haha ok sorry misunderstanding, I just meant, he wouldn't do the stupid things he does with this girl if he wasn't a muslim, that's really the only reason I called him this...I mean like if he was born in a family that wasn't religious. Guess what, chances are he wouldn't be like "ok im just gonna not eat for awhile and not call this girl and be a jerk and let this thing my parents do get in the way of being rational." I mean idiots do stupid things, but never like that. no. He may be an idiot on a personal level, but he doesn't make choices in a vacuum, he has his stupid parents and culture at least somewhat affecting what he does. and sidenote, ethnocentricity isn't always bad.. And I just have to say 'catholic idiot' is a redundancy anyways so I would never ever call your friend that. and besides 'breaking out of patterns' being a fun song reference, i meant, sure we can let ppl make choices of what they believe, but what if they make the wrong choices? sry this has been rude, not everyone is asnice as you newdreamer