deathbed

[LucidFlanders]

If you're an atheist, and someone you loved was on their deathbed and said stuff you don't believe. Like, see you on the other side, or i see spirit people around me, or something like that. What would you say? it's all your imagination, or believe it for them because they will soon cease to exist anymore, and last thing they would want to hear is something as good as that. If they asked you if there is a heaven, what would you say? stand by your beliefs? or lie to them to make them feel better in their last few seconds/minutes.

[Moonbeam]

I'd try to argue some sense into their irrational ass. Jk, I'd lie. I do it now to be polite before people are even dying, like if they're old, and it would upset them. I regret some arguments I had with my grandpa when I was a kid.

[Universal Mind]

If you're an atheist, and someone you loved was on their deathbed and said stuff you don't believe. Like, see you on the other side, or i see spirit people around me, or something like that. What would you say? it's all your imagination, or believe it for them because they will soon cease to exist anymore, and last thing they would want to hear is something as good as that. If they asked you if there is a heaven, what would you say? stand by your beliefs? or lie to them to make them feel better in their last few seconds/minutes. I have been in that situation, and I put the person's feelings above my honesty. It really seemed like the right way to be in that terrible situation. My grandmother's dying wish was that I would rejoin the Presbyterian Church. When she was about to die of cancer, she encouraged me to go to her church's adult classes on what the Presbyterian church is all about. She said she did not want to spend her time in Heaven wondering where I was. So I went to the class every Sunday until she died.

[Carôusoul]

See. It looks like not all atheists are soulless killing machines. Yet. Personally I would lie, for their happiness.

[cuddleyperson]

I don't think i'd say outright " yeah i'll see you in heaven" or what ever, I'd probably say " Well nobody really knows, but i would hope to be able to see you again" or something along those lines.

[Oneironaut Zero]

I'd try to argue some sense into their irrational ass. Wow. You really had me like "Damn, Moonbeam..." before I saw that you were j/k. lol

[dragonoverlord]

Ya i would humor them. Why ruin a good thing for them?

[Taosaur]

I don't anticipate the deathbed situation, being the most religious person in my family and a Buddhist, but generally in situations with a strong Christian overtone or where a Christian ritual is initiated, I play along. As a kid, I would just omit "God" from the pledge and boyscout oath and such without making a big deal of it. I found it irritating and oppressive at the time, but anymore I just treat it as an anthropological experience.

[Universal Mind]

IAs a kid, I would just omit "God" from the pledge I would omit the pledge from the pledge. I still would. That is some stupid shit.

[Taosaur]

I would omit the pledge from the pledge. I still would. That is some stupid shit. Heh, reminds me of my old boss's kid. She came in from her brief stint in public school and said, "Teacher made us pray to the flag."

[Needcatscan]

I have been in that situation, and I put the person's feelings above my honesty. It really seemed like the right way to be in that terrible situation. My grandmother's dying wish was that I would rejoin the Presbyterian Church. When she was about to die of cancer, she encouraged me to go to her church's adult classes on what the Presbyterian church is all about. She said she did not want to spend her time in Heaven wondering where I was. So I went to the class every Sunday until she died. You're a better person than I am. It would take a 500 pound sumo wrestler to drag me back to church. I'm not sure what I would do in the situation. I guess I'll found out eventually considering ALL my family (minus my wife and brother) are Christian.

[Universal Mind]

Heh, reminds me of my old boss's kid. She came in from her brief stint in public school and said, "Teacher made us pray to the flag." That is EXACTLY what it seems like to me. You're a better person than I am. It would take a 500 pound sumo wrestler to drag me back to church. I haven't been to church since then. Not once. I have been inside some churches for weddings and stuff, but not for a church service. I can't stand church services. I used to go to church because I thought I was supposed to. Even then, the services really bored me. When I stopped being religious, I went to church once in a while because family members wanted me to go with them, and at that point I thought church services really sucked. After a while, I started thinking about just how awful the singing is. Then church services started to seem scary. If I went now, it would probably really freak me out. I have gotten to a point where I see no difference between what people do during a church service and what people do at a cult meeting. It's the same thing.

[Taosaur]

I haven't been to church since then. Not once. I have been inside some churches for weddings and stuff, but not for a church service. I can't stand church services. I used to go to church because I thought I was supposed to. Even then, the services really bored me. When I stopped being religious, I went to church once in a while because family members wanted me to go with them, and at that point I thought church services really sucked. After a while, I started thinking about just how awful the singing is. Then church services started to seem scary. If I went now, it would probably really freak me out. I have gotten to a point where I see no difference between what people do during a church service and what people do at a cult meeting. It's the same thing. Going in without significant baggage, church services are interesting anthropological experiences. Megachurch sermons are eerily similar to motivational speakers at business and sales seminars, which makes some sense given the overlap in membership between the two.

[dragonoverlord]

Then church services started to seem scary. If I went now, it would probably really freak me out. I have gotten to a point where I see no difference between what people do during a church service and what people do at a cult meeting. It's the same thing. Dude i knwo what you mean. Its like those "born again christians" who say halleuyay i found jesus! Then you gotta think did they really "find jesus"? or was the message repatedly and repeatedly pushed into their head by loads of chating like hail jesus jesus is the lord they just chant that bull shit and it brain washes people if you know what i mean by that. I know what you mean man its so scary. What goes on in chruches is real life brainwashing they just pump a message into your head through as many mediums as they can, song,motivational speakers,group sessions where they say stuf f like praise the lord!!! Jesus is the savior!! Its amazing how people are being brainwashed in this day in age and dont relaise it.

[ExoByte]

In all honesty, I probably wouldn't respond in most cases. I wouldn't lie for their comfort, as cold as that sounds. Though most who know me know of my Atheist nature, so most wouldn't expect a comforting lie from me. Perhaps I'd say something like "We'll see" with a smile.

[Universal Mind]

In all honesty, I probably wouldn't respond in most cases. I wouldn't lie for their comfort, as cold as that sounds. Though most who know me know of my Atheist nature, so most wouldn't expect a comforting lie from me. Perhaps I'd say something like "We'll see" with a smile. Even if lying would really relieve a close family member's fear of death in the few days before death?

[ExoByte]

Its that comfort in God, to put a veil over the unknown, that has drowned our society in ignorance and held us back. Its actually that veil, that hiding from the unknown that, in my opinion, makes death more fearful. Its the idea of eternal life that pleasures people, so when death finally comes, its "an end to it all" fear that seems to take hold and drive them to tears. When that is removed, and one accepts the fact that they're going to die, it seems to be a lot more comforting. I think, that even as cold as it is not to give that comforting lie, that it'd be more comforting to say how you really feel and to help that person accept their death rather then ignorantly comfort them with false promises of eternal life. Not to mention I'm a person of principle of which I would stand on. Its this exact thing drives many of us up the wall, the idea that some Sky Fairy is going to grant you eternal life when you die. To tell someone you don't believe it throughout your living life, and then read of situations involving people with strong religious beliefs, speaking your mind on the subject away from the faces of those your comments are directed toward, then when the situation finally comes to you changing your whole demeanor and everything you stand for, and lie about what you think and believe (especially to those who likely already know what you believe), I find that more wrong than being blunt. So yes, even if it would relieve their fear of death I would not lie.

[Universal Mind]

I agree with what you said about the problems caused by religion. However, I make an exception when it comes to dying relatives who want to die believing they will see me again. I will give them that. It is an extreme and exceptional situation. They are not going to screw up the world. They are just going to be horrified for a little while and then die.

[Xaqaria]

It seems like it should depend on what they are actually saying, Exobyte. I would agree with you if they are just asking you if you think they will go to heaven, but one of the examples the OP presents is that they are saying "I see spirit people around me." In that situation your options are either to give them the benefit of the doubt in their final moments or argue with them and tell them what they are seeing isn't real. I think in that situation it would be an huge dick move. If its just a matter of them wondering what will happen though, I agree that you should be open and honest about your beliefs.

[LucidFlanders]

This is a choose 1 or the other, so i don't hold anyone to blame if they choose either. Lie to make them feel more comforted, or be blunt and tell them they are going to cease to exist forever. It will be quick, and you will cease to care or anything human will be gone. I don't really care what anyone picked, just wanna see what Atheists would do when they come to this pickle.

[bigfoot]

I've been in that exact situation. I went along with it. Whatever makes people more comfortable in their last days or hours is far more important than my petty beliefs, IMO.

[Photolysis]

What's the point in telling them such blunt facts on their deathbed? If they don't believe it is the end, in most cases, if people were going to change, they would have done it beforehand. If they do realise it's the end, what's the point in reiterating what they know? However, I personally would still say something like "I'll miss you", instead of "See you in heaven". That way I still would hold true to my beliefs, without ramming such upsetting facts down their throats.

[Oneironaut Zero]

I think it's situations like this that actually work to bring out a person's true stance on the whole "is there an afterlife" question. Most of the time, I see atheists use the cover-your-ass technique of stating "I'm an atheist, but I reserve a .0000001 chance that the afterlife (God, etc) may exist," when it comes to an argument or debate. However, if a loved on is on their deathbed, and they were to say something like "I'll see you on the other side," I think it would take a person devoid of that alleged "margin of error" to disrupt an otherwise peaceful death by arguing with them about how illogical the belief in said afterlife is. I, personally, would say something along the lines of "I hope so," because that would be the only feeling that I would have with any absolution.

[Sornaensis]

I would lie. Or at least just nod, or not say anything. That's just rude and being a total asshole to someone who is going to be gone soon and you won't ever see them again.

[ExoByte]

I, personally, would say something along the lines of "I hope so," because that would be the only feeling that I would have with any absolution. I agree with this. Most of the time, I see atheists use the cover-your-ass technique of stating "I'm an atheist, but I reserve a .0000001 chance that the afterlife (God, etc) may exist," when it comes to an argument or debate. But I take offense to this. Though this alone is an entirely other subject. I agree with what you said about the problems caused by religion. However, I make an exception when it comes to dying relatives who want to die believing they will see me again. I will give them that. It is an extreme and exceptional situation. They are not going to screw up the world. They are just going to be horrified for a little while and then die. It seems like it should depend on what they are actually saying, Exobyte. I would agree with you if they are just asking you if you think they will go to heaven, but one of the examples the OP presents is that they are saying "I see spirit people around me." In that situation your options are either to give them the benefit of the doubt in their final moments or argue with them and tell them what they are seeing isn't real. I think in that situation it would be an huge dick move. If its just a matter of them wondering what will happen though, I agree that you should be open and honest about your beliefs. I think it would take a person devoid of that alleged "margin of error" to disrupt an otherwise peaceful death by arguing with them about how illogical the belief in said afterlife is. Call me cold, or a man of principle, or both. I wouldn't argue, no no, I wouldn't ruin the peace of the death. Of course not, thats just beyond even my obscure lines. But I would say my piece if asked, though I would likely try to avoid it. As I said earlier, I'd try and say something like "We'll see" with a smile, or as Oneironaut said, an "I hope so." As I said before, I wouldn't do it as an argument. I'd do it on both principle, and on this earlier statement: Its actually that veil, that hiding from the unknown that, in my opinion, makes death more fearful. Its the idea of eternal life that pleasures people, so when death finally comes, its "an end to it all" fear that seems to take hold and drive them to tears. When that is removed, and one accepts the fact that they're going to die, it seems to be a lot more comforting.