Thread: Why does tehre seem to be so much fear/sadness at death(religious)?

Originally Posted by cuddleyperson

Is it doubt creeping in near death?

A lot of people are religious partially because it makes them feel safer in relation to death; what could be nicer than when what looks like the end comes we actually just go somewhere where we are happy for eternity. It's this and the fear of death that many people hold onto.

When confronted with real death, in the family etc people will undoubtedly think about death and most likely realise how their beliefs in heaven are just that, beliefs. And that no real world evidence will ever correlate with them.


tl;dr: yes.

I've noticed this too; it's really sad. It's like the thing that is supposed to comfort them the most doesn't do a thing for them at times when it really matters.

And it's not like you can say, "What's your problem? You should be happy you're dying (your loved one died)?"

I think it's because at their deepest level, they don't really believe it.

Every single person I've known while they were dying (granted, it's a sample of 3), ranging from Christian-leaning agnostic to born again, went quite "softly into that dark night," even suffering intense, chronic pain. The relatives who seemed to have the worst time were non-religious in each case, but I don't think that was as relevant as their relationship with the person and general emotional stability.

Also, my experience of grief, both first and second hand, suggests it has very little to do with the presumed situation of the deceased. It's much more about how the death affects the identities and circumstances of the survivors.

If someone you loved moved away to the other side of the world and was alive, but unable to ever see you again due to the secrecy of their new job or whatever, you'd feel sad. I bet it's more a matter of parting than belief that it's not real, etc.

I don't think so.

If you honestly 100% were sure that when they died they were going to the magic castle in the sky filled with fun and happiness, why would you be upset at all?

Originally Posted by Replicon

If someone you loved moved away to the other side of the world and was alive, but unable to ever see you again due to the secrecy of their new job or whatever, you'd feel sad. I bet it's more a matter of parting than belief that it's not real, etc.

What do you mean, "if"? People do really die, we don't need an analogy for it. The questions was assuming that people really believe in heaven, why are they unhappy to die and see their loved ones die (despite Taosaur's experience of so many peaceful deaths, I myself and I'm sure a lot of other people, seen a lot of non-peaceful ones amongst believers.)

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

What do you mean, "if"? People do really die, we don't need an analogy for it. The questions was assuming that people really believe in heaven, why are they unhappy to die and see their loved ones die (despite Taosaur's experience of so many peaceful deaths, I myself and I'm sure a lot of other people, seen a lot of non-peaceful ones amongst believers.)

The analogy wasn't for death; it was a contrived example of how we can feel the same kinds of feelings even when the person hasn't actually died. The idea being that the feelings of loss and sorrow in this thread are human emotions that have very little to do with the metaphysical logistics of what happens to the soul, assuming it exists. People can take comfort in the whole, "well, he's in a better place now" notion, but it doesn't change how they feel about losing their friend (even if it's just for a few decades).

I didn't see Taosaur's post before mine, due to my tab-browsing style of viewing forums, but his second paragraph does a nice job of summing up what I meant.

I would think the relatives and friends of the dying person would miss them.

Originally Posted by Replicon

The analogy wasn't for death; it was a contrived example of how we can feel the same kinds of feelings even when the person hasn't actually died. The idea being that the feelings of loss and sorrow in this thread are human emotions that have very little to do with the metaphysical logistics of what happens to the soul, assuming it exists. People can take comfort in the whole, "well, he's in a better place now" notion, but it doesn't change how they feel about losing their friend (even if it's just for a few decades).

I didn't see Taosaur's post before mine, due to my tab-browsing style of viewing forums, but his second paragraph does a nice job of summing up what I meant.

But if the honsetly, truly believed it, then they really wouldn't fret much.

Can I tell you something honestly?

Only a few times was i sad at death of people i knew, or animals. Total deaths in last 15 years.

26 people
11 animals

I'm pretty used to it.

Originally Posted by Photolysis

I think it's because at their deepest level, they don't really believe it.

Probably. All they rely on is faith...a belief. Death is real, what happens after is relied on something you want to be true. Is it? only time will tell. If it is then you can laugh at how scared you were thinking it was the end. I don't really think of what happens anymore, it's pretty useless worrying.

I never cried at funerals. I cried because I had to go.
Sadness makes me uncomfortable.

Originally Posted by A dreamer168

I never cried at funerals. I cried because I had to go.
Sadness makes me uncomfortable.

So you never felt sad at all for those who had died?

I felt sad. Truly I did, But, I just saw them in a better place.
I DID cry, it was mostly before the funeral though.

Originally Posted by A dreamer168

I felt sad. Truly I did, But, I just saw them in a better place.
I DID cry, it was mostly before the funeral though.

Well then.


What better place was this. I prefer being up and about than in a coffin; but if that's your idea of a better place, ok.

I was referring to Heaven.
I'm not soulless

Originally Posted by A dreamer168

I was referring to Heaven.
I'm not soulless

How do you envision heaven?

Why?

Originally Posted by Carôusoul

So you never felt sad at all for those who had died?

Of course people do but some people don't cry at them, they cry later.

Originally Posted by A dreamer168

Why?

He wants to make fun of you, that's why. He's almost as bad as Wendy.

It's really hard to explain

Originally Posted by LucidFlanders

He wants to make fun of you, that's why. He's almost as bad as Wendy.

No I don't. I'm interested.

Stop being nasty.