Wish Granted!
You have a nice cookie, golden brown and gooey with chocolate.. not too hot, not too cool, juuust right. When you eat that one, you receive another one just like it because you are not full. Oh, and a nice cold glass of pasteurized milk, 1%... and a napkin.
Unfortunately you begin choking on the napkin. As you are choking you stumble around the room, trying to dislodge the napkin from your throat. You accidently trip over the cord to the toaster oven, when causes it to crash to the floor. It brings three glasses with it, which shatter onto the floor. One of these glasses has water in it. You trample around on the sharp glass shards with your bare feet, slicing your feet apart. The water from the glass meets the toaster, which is still plugged in, electricuting you. Your muscles tense up, under the jolt, and you fall backward, into the lit stove that you used to bake the cookies.
You remain in this position for a long time, held in position by surging electricity, until your hair catches fire from the stove. This sets off the smoke alarm, which alerts the fire department.
The water on the floor finally dries up, and you are able to move again. You begin to run to the phone to call for help. You forget that your feet are sliced up, though, and they fall apart, leaving bloody pieces of your feet all over the kitchen floor. The floor becomes slippery with blood and you slide around, uncontrollably. Your hair catches various other household items on fire.
The fire department arrives, but they begin slipping on your bloody floor, and end up spraying water everywhere, making the situation worse.
The water from the fire fighters causes a mudslide, which covers you up to your waist in mud.
"Oh GOD!" you scream. "How can this be happening!?"
Your screams attract a nearby black bear, who approaches, because he smells a nice cookie, golden brown and gooey with chocolate.. not too hot, not too cool, juuust right... AND burnt flesh.
The bear cannot find the nice cookie, golden brown and gooey with chocolate.. not too hot, not too cool, juuust right, so he begins eating your face.
Then lightning starts to strike! You get struck by lightning, and your whole body bursts into flames!
That's when Godzilla comes.
Godzilla steps on you, and pushes you deeper into the mud. Now only your nose is sticking out of the mud. Ants quickly decide to use your nose as their new home. They make an ant colony out of your brain.
And the ants live happily ever after.
I wish I didn't have carpal tunnel syndrome.
-sloth
edit: Darn. People beat me to it.