Thread: How do you like them apples?

Pie. or Fritters.

Green apples are the shit.

Ah... pie, indeed. One of my favorite Zen experiences. Here's a little writeup I did for another forum a few years back:
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Mom's Apple Pie

Apple pie. That's today's topic.

I tried learning my mother's apple pie recipe a few years ago, in an effort to carry on the tradition. Like just about everybody's mom, mine makes the best apple pie in the world.

It ain't so easy though, I found out. I've made several dozen pies since I started. A small handful of these have been "perfect," though most have been perfectly edible. Thankfully, failures are handled by eating them quickly and getting on with life.

There are several variables in making my mom's pie right. The first one is the apples. Tartness is balanced by the amount of sugar to be added. Dryness is balanced by the amount of flour sprinkled on the bottom crust before adding the apples. This seems simple enough, but the perfect pie is sweetened to perfection and neither runny nor dry - and the only barometer for the adjustments in ingredients is tasting the apple. Mom gets it right every time. I get it right occasionally, and probably by accident.

The other frustrating bit is the crust. The amount of water needed varies with humidity and other unknown factors. After the shortening is cut into the flour, just enough water is added to make the thing a coherent mass and just short of sticky. Add too little water and the crust will split and break as you roll it out, and it will end up with a grainy texture. Add too much water and it gets sticky and impossible to roll and won't be flaky. Knead it too much and it becomes tough.

All that being said, here is the recipe for Mom's Apple Pie. If you manage to make a perfect one, enjoy it! If you screw it up, eat it quickly and nobody will ever know.

Crust:

2 c flour
3/4 c shortening
1 tsp salt
4 to 6 tbsp ice cold water

Cut shortening into flour and salt until you have a cornmeal-like texture. Add water a little at a time while gently kneading just until it forms a ball and isn't sticky. Divide.

Pie:

Roll out lower crust and place into baking dish. (There is a difference between glass, ceramic and metal, but all yield nice results. Ceramic is my personal preference, followed by glass.) Make sure there are no cracks or leaks in the lower crust, or you will very much regret it when trying to serve the pie!

Cover the bottom crust with a sprinkling of brown sugar. Depending on the juiciness of the apples and the amount of sugar you will be adding later, sprinkle one to three tablespoons of flour over the brown sugar. (This is hard to judge. Sweet, juicy apples need more flour but less sugar. Tart, juicy apples need more flour and more sugar... etc.)

Slice in your apples. Keep slices thin and smallish, but not so much so that they are completely dense. Northern Spies are my favorite baking apple by far, but they are hard to get. Grannies work well, as do many others. The overall texture of the finished pie is predicated by the apple you choose. Fill the crust to a gentle mound when viewed over the edge of the pie plate.

Over the apples, add 3/4 to 1 1/4 c sugar, depending on the sweetness of the apples. Remember that the sugar will sweeten AND draw the juices out of the apples, so it has to have been properly compensated for by the flour below! Sprinkle with cinnamon to taste. Be careful to keep cinnamon and sugar away from the edges that will be sealed to the upper crust!

Top with four or five pats of butter. Apply top crust, cutting to vent and sealing the edges well. Bake in a pre-heated oven at 425 degrees for 15 minutes, then drop to 400 for another half hour.

Pies are judged as follows:
Crust quality - thin, tender and flakey is best.
Juiciness when cut - pie should be quite moist but not "run" when a piece is removed.
Sweetness - pie should neither pucker you or curl your toes.
Taste - is it wonderful? Did you add enough or too much cinnamon and butter? Where the apples good ones for pie making?

The Thanksgiving pie I made was nearly perfect. The crust was a bit thick, and the filling a tiny bit on the dry side. It is no more, though... it was put out of its misery quickly in the midst of several other tempting desserts competing for attention.

That's it! Very simple stuff... or so it seems.

Red apples, raw - favourite fruit.
Apple juice - favourite juice.

Oh, aye, I like them!

I could do with an apple turnover God it's been so long.

Three points:

1) I love hard cider. I've made many gallons of it in my beer-brewing days

2) Apple sauce makes me gag for some reason.

3) Not a fan of drinking straight apple juice.

NOT AS MUCH AS 'NANAS.

(bananas)

I love apple juice!!!!

I love apples, and they're really good for you. They're extremely good for anyone who has acne too. Anyone ever heard of, or tried apple cleansing? It's where you eat only apples and drink water for like 3 days, and it cleanses your system. Supposedly, it should pretty much rid you of acne, and help you to be really healthy and whatnot....

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

Green apples are the shit.

Heck yeah!!

Oooh.. and I LOVE hot apple crisp with vanilla ice cream!
.

Originally Posted by pj

Mom's Apple Pie

Apple pie. That's today's topic.

IThat's it! Very simple stuff... or so it seems.

Thanks pj...that was fun to think about. I like reading recipes even tho I hardly ever cook anything. Especially something with crust but I admire those who do.

I might try to dream about that tonight. I hope I do. I love apple pie. Oh, good idea Clairity, put some ice cream on it...

I like McDonalads apple pies

Originally Posted by Infraredkelp

I like McDonalads apple pies

Those are pretty damn good.

Totally useless fact: My first taste of apple pie was at my Great-Grandmother's apartment in Boston (mid 1970s). She lived in the same building as Leonard Nimoy's (Spock from Star Trek) Mom.

That's 8 seconds you'll never get back.

I didn't find that useless. I think I'm a more rounded human being now. Or maybe rounded from too many apple pies.

I hate apples, juicy pears are where it's at.

Originally Posted by Oneironaught

Those are pretty damn good.

Totally useless fact: My first taste of apple pie was at my Great-Grandmother's apartment in Boston (mid 1970s). She lived in the same building as Leonard Nimoy's (Spock from Star Trek) Mom.

That's 8 seconds you'll never get back.

No way! What did his Mom look like? Did Leonard ever visit?

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

No way! What did his Mom look like? Did Leonard ever visit?

I doubt I ever even saw her, to tell you the truth. I'm sure he came to visit from time to time but I was only there a few times and never at times to catch any glimpses of stardom.

I just know my Great Grandmother and she lived in the same building. I don't even know if they lived on the same floor. I only know that it was primarily a Jewish community. That's literally everything I know about it all.

your apples are not unlike your lower intestine, stinky, and loaded with danger

Apple pie is the shiz-nit.

Three words- Pink. Lady. Apples.

Now they are the king of all apples. Espescially with a nice mature cheddar cheese.

Apples are a good source of fiber.