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    1. 02-06-2008 07:32 AM #1
      Merlock
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      The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

      The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

      Aah, this is great. I didn't place it into R/S since...well, I doubt it makes room for debate, just some humour...plenty of humour, really. I'm still laughing. >.<

      Every year in Israel, divine-bear attacks kill over 500 children.


      Note: Child death isn't funny. Child death that never happened and would never happen under hilarious circumstances is.
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    2. 02-06-2008 07:43 AM #2
      CoLd BlooDed
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      "God listened carefully to their complaints, weighed their points, then made the earth eat them alive. The text does not make it clear whether or not the earth made that "OM NOM NOM" sound, so scholars are forced to speculate."

      LOL

      This is fucking awesome. Great link.


      Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and gray,
      Look out on a summers day,
      with eyes that know the darkness of my soul.
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    3. 02-06-2008 07:58 AM #3
      Universal Mind
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      Such pornographic filth should be BANNED!!!! At least that's what the Baptists keep telling me.
      How do you know you are not dreaming right now?
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    4. 02-06-2008 07:59 AM #4
      Merlock
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      There was also Anath in Judges 3:31, who "struck down six hundred philistines with an oxgoad." An oxgoad is a sharp stick you used to poke oxen. That started the Israeli tradition of killing large numbers of their enemies with farmyard tools, which continued through Samson and onto modern times, where the Six Day War of 1967 was won by a crippled Israeli peasant wielding a watering can.

      Either way, the Philistines almost certainly remembered Samson as the worst thing that ever happened to them.
      Hahahah, it's like Marvel Comics from two millenia ago.
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    5. 02-06-2008 07:59 AM #5
      Amethyst Star
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      I got a chuckle out of it. However, they left out one of my favorite stories. I don't remember the names of the parties involved, but essentially what it boiled down to was:

      Bad guy represses people.
      Bad guy finds himself in trouble.
      Bad guy hides in tent of woman (of people he repressed).
      Bad guy falls asleep.
      Woman takes a spike and places it to bad guy's temple.
      Woman nails man's head to floor.
      Bad guy dies.

      And people say the Bible's boring...

      "If there was one thing the lucid dreaming ninja writer could not stand, it was used car salesmen."
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    6. 02-06-2008 08:38 AM #6
      Man of Steel
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      Holy crapper of DOOM that is hilariousness incarnate...
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    7. 02-06-2008 08:39 AM #7
      b12
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      I LOVE Cracked.com. It's freaking awesome


      The Original VDJ on DV (01/06/2008)
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    8. 02-06-2008 08:11 PM #8
      Timothy Paradox
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      This is hilarious!
      I saw those statues while on vacation in Egypt.
      Current projects:
      -Acquire the Aurora
      -Test galatamine, huperzine and choline
      -Find smartwatch app for RC reminders at certain intervals
      -Ressurect my dream log here, and become more active
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    9. 02-12-2008 07:33 PM #9
      bigfoot
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      lol
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    10. 02-12-2008 07:48 PM #10
      Spartiate
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      I couldn`t finish it because it`s not a good place to laugh hysterically right now (the bears did me in)...
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    11. 02-12-2008 08:11 PM #11
      Goldney
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      That was awesome. There is no other word to describe it than biblically awesome.
      *............*............*
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    12. 02-14-2008 04:48 AM #12
      aceboy
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      before i stopped believing in god i've read most of these but how you say them is
      DILD's-6
      WBTB-3
      Total LD's-9

      Adopted by NeAvO
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    13. 02-14-2008 05:56 AM #13
      Dewitback
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      "What did Saul (the king at the time) want with 100 foreskins? Was he going to make a scarf?"

      haha, truly.
      Dreaming is forgetting the basis of reality, remembering it is to be lucid.
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    14. 02-14-2008 06:10 AM #14
      [SomeGuy]
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      I agree. That must hurt.

      Hey guys, I'm back. Feels good man
      ---------------------------------------------------
      WTF|Jesus lul
      spam removed
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    15. 02-14-2008 08:47 AM #15
      seeker28
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      Just goes to show how hillarious the Bible is!
      LD tasks of the month completed: 16
      Read some of my writing:
      http://dreamviews.com/community/showthread.php?t=52477
      Visit my deviantart gallery:
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