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    Thread: Water terrorism

    1. 08-22-2004 09:03 PM #1
      Death-Wuad
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      Water terrorism

      After figuring out that a gallon of water costs three times as much as a gallon of gasoline in the US, I've discovered that this country has been subject to water terrorism. They make you think that the water from your faucet is dangerous, and then they sell their own water for insane prices (which isn't even regulated the FDA!). Then I also got to thinking- what's so irresistable about this water? Is it because it comes from a spring in the mountains? Or another country? Or somebody else's faucet? I've taken this idea and created my own product:

      Pamela Anderson Milk, because all that other milk comes from a smelly old cow. Directly from Pamela Anderson's teat, to your mouth, in a box. With our milk, you know it's fresh because every carton is hand-inspected by ravenous monkeys from... France. Pamela Anderson lives in a little hut in the Appalachian mountains just pumping out milk all day, and that makes our milk exotic.

      Check out these kickass testimonials:

      Originally posted by OpheliaBlue+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(OpheliaBlue)</div>
      Okay... [/b]
      Originally posted by Ev@
      I use this milk to enhance my lucidity
      <!--QuoteBegin-Death&#045;Wuad
      This tastes like my grandmother... awesome
      I'm sorry for being an idiot
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    2. 08-22-2004 09:12 PM #2
      Boof
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      oookay... that was weird
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    3. 08-24-2004 04:43 AM #3
      Umbrasquall
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      Yeah...

      You know that water is practically free right? If you turn that knob above your sink, the stuff that comes out is water.
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    4. 08-24-2004 06:58 AM #4
      MSG
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      Water terrorism wont work because water doesnt come in barrels... it comes from DWP, which comes from rivers n schtuff
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    5. 08-24-2004 02:59 PM #5
      Kaniaz
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      Originally posted by Squall
      Yeah...

      You know that water is practically free right? If you turn that knob above your sink, the stuff that comes out is water.
      What about the water bill.
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    6. 08-24-2004 11:02 PM #6
      dougdrums
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      If all else fails you can scoop it up and boil it.
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    7. 08-25-2004 01:18 AM #7
      Umbrasquall
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      Like I said... 'practically' free.
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    8. 08-25-2004 01:29 AM #8
      MSG
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      pamela anderson milk tastes like flowers... good at first, but then... aww sick!
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    9. 08-26-2004 09:39 PM #9
      Death-Wuad
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      Let me clarify something: A glass of water from your faucet costs about a nickel, a glass of water from Avon costs about a dollar.
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    10. 08-28-2004 02:31 AM #10
      AcidBasick
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      Originally posted by Kaniaz+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Kaniaz)</div>
      <!--QuoteBegin-Squall
      Yeah...

      You know that water is practically free right? If you turn that knob above your sink, the stuff that comes out is water.
      What about the water bill.[/b]
      Drill into a well and drink well water.

      Completely free. Although it tastes a bit like metal and sulfur.

      You could also head down to your local McDonalds or other fast food establishment and ask for a glass of water. It should be free. Or you could enter into a bathroom in any public area and fill up your glass with the water from the faucet. Or walk into those same restrooms and fill up a jug with water. It depends on how cheap you are.

      I think your joke has some basis in truth, though. The media bombards us with stories about water going bad from goose feces and pipe breaks and bacteria levels. I would like to see a story on Dateline about how great cheap city water is and how it is perfectly safe to drink. It should have a thirty minute time slot and many charts and graphs to emphasize the wonderful nature of the water. Then, they should interview people who have drunk the water for years with so much as getting the flu.

      Bah, we'll never hear any stories about why we shouldn't need to worry on the news - unless, of course, it's a story about how being worried causes a person to live a shorter life.

      Number of Lucid Dreams: 14
      Last Lucid Dream: November 14, 2004
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    11. 08-28-2004 03:31 AM #11
      MSG
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      Well said AcidBasick. If it was really of THAT much concern, they would have done something about it now. But it really isnt that big of a deal, so people shouldnt be that concerned about it.
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