Things I hate

[mini0991]

These were originally posted at my blog, but I figured you guys might enjoy some selections off the list of things I hate. 1. Toast crumbs in the butter This one was one of the things Calvin himself added to his terse list of things he hates. I couldn't help but agree more. Now if you ask me to name one thing off the top of my head that gets my goat, it's when I put butter on my pancakes in the morning and all I see are fucking toast crumbs and poppy seeds coming off the butter knife. Even worse is when I add some butter to my spaghetti and then my spaghetti ends up tasting like boiled shit and chews like something I peeled up off the highway. Is it really that damn hard to wipe the knife off after buttering your toast or your bun before going for another swipe? The sooner people in this world understand to be more considerate with the butter so my pancakes don't end up looking like a thirteen year-old's clearasil-smeared acne disaster of a face, the better off we'll all be. 2. The emergency broadcast system I'm sure we all love it when we're watching something good on TV, such as a football game, and right before that spectacular play shows its results, our TV screen suddenly turns corpse blood red and plays annoying deafening tones that will someday magically save my life in a nuclear war in a manner similar to the excellent Duck and Cover maneuver. Seriously, what has the Emergency Broadcast System ever been good for besides getting fatass welfare queens their two minutes of physical activity per year by making them get the remote off the floor and make a mad finger-dash for Mute? I suppose there would be tremendous loss of life if they didn't take the trouble to interrupt my favorite music every two minutes to tell me the storm in the next state moved another two feet to the east. 3. Insects Insects are God's way of telling us there's always something more annoying than that fat bitch you have to sit next to on the bus who won't shut up about how smart she thinks her fifteen cats are. When you hear the one about Fluffy clawing at the TV during a dog food commercial, just take time to notice the thousands of gnats orbiting your head and invading every orifice of your face. Insects piss me off so much that I take the time to scream "PWNT!!" at the top of my lungs after swatting the fuckers before they try to lay a finger on my Butterfinger. 4. Dead worms I think this was another one off Calvin's original list. Dead worms. Not living worms, but dead ones. They're all over the fucking sidewalk and I always end up tracking them in my house. I think dead worms are the only thing that's harder to avoid when it isn't alive. 5. Being too hot There's always something you can attempt when you're too cold. Rubbing hands together or bundling up until you look like the 200 pound tumor from that Discovery channel program usually helps. But when it's too hot, you can't exactly start taking stuff off. Fanning yourself with any implement within reach doesn't work either. The only thing that ever worked for me was shoving my face in front of an air conditioner until Winter came. Fuck hot weather. 6. Rainy days I don't fucking give two shits if it is an essential part of the weather that rehydrates flora and reduces the acidity of the soil, anything that stops me from doing breakneck speeds on the copless turnpike gets a mark of censure in my book. 7. ipod earbuds Fucking little pieces of shit are always falling out of my ear like tears from an emo's face after finding out that studies show life is just as depressing as it was yesterday. If you so much as think about moving your head in the slightest, they take a nosedive out your ear for the floor. After the fifth time this happens, I give them a nosedive for the trash compactor in favor of something that will stay in my ears longer than the time it takes for a fat ugly WoW nerd to get shot down in the dating circle. 8. Creamed corn It comes in a perfectly good form on the cob, but no, some people aren't satisfied unless they make it look like diarrhea in a can. Creamed corn is about as appetizing as aforementioned diarrhea and tastes like so. 9. Sweet carrots and peas If I wanted something sweet, I'd rot my teeth downing a bag of Hershey Kisses instead of pouring High Fructose Dextromethate Sulfamide Somethingamajig Syrup all over something that tasted fine without it in the first place. I tried sweetened carrots once when I was seven and it lasted about three seconds before it ended up spectacularly sprayed all over my half of the dinner table. 10. School(number two thing on this list) Yes, this is how I have it marked in the textfile. School is the number two thing on my list (you'll get to see the number one thing eventually.) Granted, I'm almost out of the state-mandated incarceration I've experienced for thirteen long years, but it's sucking all the way through to the end. You tell me whether or not it's possible to have a good day in a place where you can't go to the bathroom without proudly announcing it to the teacher and to everyone else, that is *if* you get the permission at all. If I'm correct, even Gitmo prisoners get to piss when they want. If everyone in Gitmo got to go home at three and had to be back by eight in the morning the next day...they'd still have more rights than the typical high schooler.

[Lulian]

I hate furries.

[Conkt]

I hate self-fulfilling irony.

[Black_Eagle]

I hate ni- I hate wh- I hate fr- But really, I hate people who blatantly lie for the sake of increasing their status/lie for the sake of conformity.

[slayer]

I hate elevators. I hate helicopters. I hate hospitals...and doctors, and lawyers, and cops...

[Lulian]

I hate elevators. I hate helicopters. I hate hospitals...and doctors, and lawyers, and cops... Is there anything you don't hate? :V

[slayer]

Is there anything you don't hate? :V You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests.

[Licity]

I hate elevators. I hate helicopters. I hate hospitals...and doctors, and lawyers, and cops... I hate lawyers too. When are they gonna stop practicing law?

[Conkt]

When lawyers take viagra they get taller.

[apocalypse]

I hate Disney prostitots

[CarmineEternity]

I hate Lady Gaga, Anime, and myspace cam whores who always pucker their lips in every single one of their 39298 photos of themselves. THAT SHIT PISSES ME OFF.

[Noogah]

ipod earbuds UUUUHHHGGG! I so know what you mean!!! There are some good ear buds man. Some really good ones. But the ones that come with your iPod are awful!!! 1.They start crackling after, like, three days if you usually play your music too loud. 2.They're fragile. Those things break easy. 3.THERE IS NO GOOD REASON WHY THEY SHOULD BE $30 AT WALMART WHEN I CAN GET A BETTER PAIR FOR 5$ AT THE SAME PLACE!!!!!

[CarmineEternity]

THERE IS NO GOOD REASON WHY THEY SHOULD BE $30 AT WALMART WHEN I CAN GET A BETTER PAIR FOR 5$ AT THE SAME PLACE!!!!! Its Apple. What did you expect? Cheap product, ridiculous price.

[DeeryTheDeer]

Hypocrisy and selfishness that knows no ends. Like when men insult women for getting angry when they cheat on them, but god forbid the woman cheats on the man, then things like school shootings can happen.

[Black_Eagle]

^Which reminds me^ I absolutely, positively hate popular brand-name merchandise. You can get the same shit for an infinitely cheaper price without the label. In my opinion, brand names are for people who don't feel good about themselves to the extent that they feel the need to buy into such status symbols. Hypocrisy and selfishness that knows no ends. Like when men insult women for getting angry when they cheat on them, but god forbid the woman cheats on the man, then things like school shootings can happen. lolwat? You do realize that pointing out that men do this rather than making your statement sexually ambiguous is sexist, right?

[DeeryTheDeer]

I just tend to notice it a lot more with certain genders, plus there's a certain situation that's pissing me off so I'm venting about it.

[Maria92]

I hate ants...big, black carpenter ants I hate aphids-the green ones especially I hate bad grades I hate stink bugs I hate pine beetles I hate bees/wasps/bugs that can sting/bite I hate sexism I hate racism I hate the ignorant/intolerant Umm...yeah. Venting is fun

[DeeryTheDeer]

I hate the ignorant/intolerant Probably everything that's really hateable (sp? word?) in the world could be lumped into that category.

[Indecent Exposure]

I hate people who just plod along in life accepting all the bullshit theyre told, never questioning their sources of information, like the fuckin news. Buying in to the big capitalist game, without ever thinking, do I really want this watch/ipod/t shirt/ xbox? Or do I want to spend my time pursuing my intellectual curisosities? Basically I hate fuckin sheep. I also hate people that think they aren't sheep because they buy in to a non mainstream dogma. Your still buying in to some random fuckers dogmatic belief system, live your own life you wanker.

[Luanne]

- People who underline their favorite sentences in RENTED books.

[Dizko]

When people answer a matter before they hear it.

[Adam]

I hate hospitals...and doctors, and lawyers, and cops... Reason? UUUUHHHGGG! I so know what you mean!!! There are some good ear buds man. Some really good ones. But the ones that come with your iPod are awful!!! 1.They start crackling after, like, three days if you usually play your music too loud. 2.They're fragile. Those things break easy. 3.THERE IS NO GOOD REASON WHY THEY SHOULD BE $30 AT WALMART WHEN I CAN GET A BETTER PAIR FOR 5$ AT THE SAME PLACE!!!!! Get some Shure earbuds! Nothing better on the planet ^Which reminds me^ I absolutely, positively hate popular brand-name merchandise. You can get the same shit for an infinitely cheaper price without the label. In my opinion, brand names are for people who don't feel good about themselves to the extent that they feel the need to buy into such status symbols. Ouch! In my opinion brand names are predominately better than non-branded items! I've owned many branded items which have lasted forever, and look and feel better - depending on the item of course! I've neve heard a set of earbuds come any where near the quality of my Shure for example. My football boots are much more comfortable and supportive than any unbranded type. A tailored suit is better than off the shelf for look and feel. Bread, damn, have you bought own brand bread compared to proper branded bread - one is like cardboard, the other; it's like heaven! The list could go on and on. Anyway - each to their own...

[Lëzen]

So many stock answers in here. I thought the OP intended for a more creative approach, personally... ...Like not cleaning the jelly off the knife before sticking it in the peanut butter jar. Jesus, is that ever annoying. Especially when little globlets of jelly dry up, thereby turning smooth peanut butter into chunky peanut butter. Also annoying is when people on the road panic and start blaring their horn just for inching toward them. Those are the same terrible drivers that constantly brake into curves, conveniently forget to signal lane changes, and drive with their freakin' parking lamps on at dawn. Buncha fuckrats. I hate sexism I hate racism I hate the ignorant/intolerant Aw... How could you hate such great sources of entertainment?

[Black_Eagle]

Ouch! In my opinion brand names are predominately better than non-branded items! I've owned many branded items which have lasted forever, and look and feel better - depending on the item of course! I've neve heard a set of earbuds come any where near the quality of my Shure for example. My football boots are much more comfortable and supportive than any unbranded type. A tailored suit is better than off the shelf for look and feel. Bread, damn, have you bought own brand bread compared to proper branded bread - one is like cardboard, the other; it's like heaven! The list could go on and on. Anyway - each to their own... Thing is, I've literally seen a 60 dollar brand name T-shirt that was almost identical to a significantly cheaper non-brand name T-shirt. Same goes for jeans. I suppose I just despise seeing the same brand name clothing being worn by many of my fellow students because there is an attitude of wearing only what is considered cool within their group.

[Muggler]

Racism!