Thread: C&P IRC Quotes

This is just another thread to waste time in. =P

So go to www.bash.org and choose a random list of quotes. Copy and paste the ones you think are funny here. There's some really hilarious stuff on that site.

hehe yeah bash is funny - though they havent added new quotes in AGES though, i believe bash is quite dead.

Lol I spent hours there before. I think their stock right now is enough to keep me reading for a while.

<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

<studdud> what the fuck is wtf

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.

<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the FUCK

<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat

<BigBurk> God i really cant stand windows me
<Felacio> heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
<Felacio> errr ME, not /me

<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> fuck you

<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?

AngryGackt: hey
Kagato: yo
AngryGackt: did you hear about lindze's dad?
Kagato: ..nikki....
Kagato: you just like..
Kagato: scared me... so bad...
Kagato: cuz when I first read that it looked like "did you hear that Lindze's dead?"
AngryGackt: OH
Kagato: I swear my heart jumped into my throat.
AngryGackt: NO
AngryGackt: gahhhh
Kagato: I was chewing on my heart and freaking out until I reread it.
AngryGackt: jeeeeessus
Kagato: ........>_<
AngryGackt: *flails*
Kagato: what happened to her dad? ::relaxes::
AngryGackt: He's dead.
Kagato: ........

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

^^ Those are some really funny ones I found . Funny site!

Originally posted by wasup
...
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind
...
<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying \"You're next\". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
...
<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat
...
<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out \"France\"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?

All of them are hilarious, especially the first two and the unknown artist one.

Originally posted by bash.org

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 ([email protected]) Quit (Leaving)

* Quits: crag-- ([email protected]) (Dead girls dont say no)
* Quits: KiM ([email protected]) (going for a walk )
<@ShowDowN> that is sick
<@ShowDowN> we should ban him next time he comes in
<@nekro> yeah, who the hell goes for walks

<DAL9000> my pseudogirlfriend's preacher was like, all over her
<DAL9000> and she's not very liked at her church
<DAL9000> cuz they think she's seducing him
<trep> pseudogirlfriend, haha
<DAL9000> yes
<DAL9000> that's a fancy word for stalking interest.

Originally posted by Stalker+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Stalker)</div>

<!--QuoteBegin-bash.org

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 ([email protected]) Quit (Leaving)

[/b]

XD XD XD

that one is the best....

<rob&#96;> highschool was the best 7 years of my life

<Ronwe> when I signed onto IRC I didn't expect to be involved in sodomy
<Ronwe> or incest....
<Ronwe> or be enjoying it....

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

Originally posted by Stalker+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Stalker)</div>

<!--QuoteBegin-bash.org

* Quits: crag-- ([email protected]) (Dead girls dont say no)
* Quits: KiM ([email protected]) (going for a walk )
<@ShowDowN> that is sick
<@ShowDowN> we should ban him next time he comes in
<@nekro> yeah, who the hell goes for walks

[/b]

Hahahahah...

And you just liked that last one cause it's got 'stalker' in it didn't you!?

Originally posted by www.bash.org

<murder&#96;> lol i just got the rot password to the linux machine running the network im on
<m0zzie> you mean root pass?
<murder&#96;> yea whatever its called do u know some cool commands like to hack ppl?
<m0zzie> try this one.. rm -rf /etc
<phoenix> rofl
<murder&#96;> that one just paused for ages and came up with a few forbidden msgs
<murder&#96;> got any better ones?
<m0zzie> hmm.. try rm -rf /root
<murder&#96;> that one just paused for a bit again, dont u know any to really hack someone?
<agent3> lol
<m0zzie> ugh, ok I guess you're gonna keep harrassing us until we tell you how to hack people aren't you?
<murder&#96;> yep
<m0zzie> ok do this exactly without the quotes: \"rm -rf /home\" then do \"shutdown -h now\"
<murder&#96;> k sweet man thx!!
[n] Quit [murder&#96;]-[Read error: Connection reset by peer]
<m0zzie> I'm a bastard.

Originally posted by Stalker+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Stalker)</div>

<!--QuoteBegin-www.bash.org

<murder&#96;> lol i just got the rot password to the linux machine running the network im on
<m0zzie> you mean root pass?
<murder&#96;> yea whatever its called do u know some cool commands like to hack ppl?
<m0zzie> try this one.. rm -rf /etc
<phoenix> rofl
<murder&#96;> that one just paused for ages and came up with a few forbidden msgs
<murder&#96;> got any better ones?
<m0zzie> hmm.. try rm -rf /root
<murder&#96;> that one just paused for a bit again, dont u know any to really hack someone?
<agent3> lol
<m0zzie> ugh, ok I guess you're gonna keep harrassing us until we tell you how to hack people aren't you?
<murder&#96;> yep
<m0zzie> ok do this exactly without the quotes: \"rm -rf /home\" then do \"shutdown -h now\"
<murder&#96;> k sweet man thx!!
[n] Quit [murder&#96;]-[Read error: Connection reset by peer]
<m0zzie> I'm a bastard.

[/b]

i remember kaniaz done something like that to finde.

Wasn't that Evanescent? I gave him a .bat file that shutdown his computer under the premise it would "hack things". He used it once then told Techboy:

"I think Kaniaz just tricked me."

Then...he ran it again.

Was it? Well whatever. Hahaha, it was funny anyway.

<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?

<Ebony> Did anyone else realize that the media-dubbed "The War Against Terrorism" comes out as "TWAT"?

<IICV> This is freaky.
<IICV> My dog is sitting there, winking at me.
<JeremiahSmith> He wants you.
<IICV> He wants my grapes.
<JeremiahSmith> Is that what you call them?

<Doodleheimer> To all the girls here: What's it like having boobs?
<Doodleheimer> I just have some questions about them.
<Peter_Griffin> Doodle wants to know if he scans his hand and sends to you and you rub it on your chest if it still counts as getting to second base.

<Gothic> I put my PS2 in the microwave, and I ended up in the future

<orion&#96;-&#96;-> what the fuck
<orion&#96;-&#96;-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
<orion&#96;-&#96;-> brbrb

<BloodFromStone> I think my bathroom has the perfect geometry, so that no matter where or how something is dropped, it ends up in the toilet.

<Pete[z]> my mate gaz was trying to get a blowjob from this girl ok
<Pete[z]> so, he dipp'd his nob in dip cheese at this party
<Pete[z]> anyway
<Pete[z]> so she sucke dhim off
<Pete[z]> then her mother came home
<Pete[z]> grabbed a biscuit
<Pete[z]> and straight for the cheese dip

<Pika-Screw> Did you ever want to kick Mario right in the pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all these years, bitch!"?

<Carp_AFK> i planned to dye my hair this weekend
<Carp_AFK> till i was told i was supposed to put vaseline all round my forehead, and wear gloves
<Carp_AFK> and theres no way im going to a shop buying some rubber gloves and a tub of vaseline

Sean: Yeah I thought of it while I was getting a snack.
Jay: Snacks, is there anything they can't do?
Sean: Umm... I was going to say provide sexual pleasure, but I've heard you can have sex with banana peels.
Jay: brb

[ @Hammer ] Okay, I was going to have some Count Chocula, so I started pouring a bowl. But then I ran out before I filled the bowl, so I just filled the rest with Cocoa Pebbles cause that was the only other cereal we had. So I open the fridge, and we have no milk, only chocolate milk. So yeah, I consumed about 5 years worth of chocolate intake in that one meal.

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) ([email protected])
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

<Spacer> just heard a funny story from my mom just now
<Spacer> she works as a teacher
<Spacer> and in one of her classes, it started to smell like dog poo
<Spacer> so she made everyone check their shoes, but they were all clean
<Spacer> so she went to the head of year
<Spacer> and got her to check everyones shoes
<Spacer> but they were all clean still
<Spacer> the smell was coming from the radiator area, so she asked the caretaker to check it out
<Spacer> while he was doing that, she sent everyone outside
<Spacer> but it still smelt in the corridor
<Spacer> and she traced the smell to some girl
<Spacer> and she checked her shoes, but they were clean
<Spacer> she goes "you smell a little whiffy today, go to the toilets and check yourself out"
<Spacer> so she walks off
<Spacer> and the smell goes
<Spacer> when she gets back, she goes to my mom
<Spacer> with a big smile on her face, and says "sorry miss, i poo'd my panties"
<Spacer> this is a year 11 girl, like 17 years old




AHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHA

<EM[mMF]> man
<EM[mMF]> unix manuals would be so much cooler
<EM[mMF]> if they had porn in them
<EM[mMF]> like "Basics of the Bash Shell"
<EM[mMF]> <LESBIAN PORN>
<EM[mMF]> i'd read that shit

Originally posted by bash.org+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(bash.org)</div>

Anonymous-san: okay so there's these two strings, right
Anonymous-san: They walk into a bar
Anonymous-san: The first string says
Anonymous-san: Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe7954454gh2kjn.,.43>>[][]21?24
Anonymous-san: The second string says
Anonymous-san: You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated
[/b]

<!--QuoteBegin-bash.org

<Jumper_> for an optimist the glass is half full, for a pessimist it is half empty, for an engineer it's twice as big as it needs to be
<Thraddash> for a programmer it has too few interfaces?
<Jumper_> for a programmer it's a Basic Input Output System (BIOS) with a buffer overflow just waiting to happen

Haha gotta post more!

I just clicked for Random Quotes, that's how good the stuff on that site is.


<Fly_kEaT> ok so what time now in russia?
<amsea_> 17:06
<Fly_kEaT> am or pm?



<blazemore> where did you find this, sych0
<blazemore> did you just type in "crap" and download whatever came up?



<teknoho> im not drinking hard liquor for a lil while. i gave it up for lent.
<mmmichael> what does lent do to you?
<mmmichael> does it fuck you up?



<tima> k, i'm starving
<rocky> fooooooood
[list=1] im starving too
<EConc_> god, since when did #nerdz become ethiopia?



<@thunderbear> I think if Bush really wanted Hussein out of the picture, he should send his daughters over there first.
<@thunderbear> With luck, Hussein would die of three different venereal diseases at once.



<B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home while I catch the last of the ball game"
<B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.
(So true)



<harm_> today this one lady got pissed off cause we dont carry i quote wireless power supplies
<ogregasm> a what
<harm_> thats what i said
<harm_> maybe you want an adaptor for a wireless router o rsomething??
<harm_> shes goes no no i read online about this i wannit i wannit
<harm_> then she got pissed when i told her that kind of technology doesnt exist
<ogregasm> heh
<harm_> i tried to be nice but it got to the point where i was like"get back to us in 30 years"
<harm_> "once we attain the secret of positron deflector shields, wireless power supplies shall become a reality"
<ogregasm> why bother being that much of an ass to the poor woman
<harm_> well shes the one who got all up in my face asking for the store manager
<harm_> i told her he had just teleported to a corporate meeting in tokyo



<Rambo> Have you guys heard about the latest pirate film?
<Rambo> It's rated Arrrr
<Nurple> Rambo, please die

I bet this would make bradybaker smile...

Mjordan2nd: If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
Chris: Spider Man
Tim: batman
Sidd: batman
Mjordan2nd: I'd be god

This one just pwns...

bag0fice: man they need to add a pothead difficulty to games
swindLer: x;
bag0ice: where you cant lose and the music never stops

OK, despite having written a theory about MJ's True Origins, I had to include this...

* Amon rocks out to Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
<Amon> this song owns
<r0bz0r> It does
<Amon>
<r0bz0r> I'm surprised michael jackson didn't do a remake

For some reason, I think Blue might appreciate this one...

Mandy: The baby's kickin'.
Adam: well kick that little fucker back.
Adam: gotta start early with discipline

Will someone from up north explain to me the politics behind this one?

<Glasses> Quebec is on fire?
<Glasses> I'm sure the rest of Cananda won't be too upset...
<Paul> Upset? THey started it.

This one sounds like a classic, yet is only a slight variation on the classic.

<k3tty> nfi
<APULYG> Whats nfi?
<TBC> no fucking idea.
<APULYG> Well shut up then if you dont know
* TBC beats the crap out of APU for being s00pid.

I guess that's enough for now. Wow...hey, we should have a thread dedicated to a DV version of these quote things. It'd be in Memorable Topics in under a week.

Edit: I just found this, and I'm not quite sure what it means but I think it's pro-PC, which is good, 'cuz that's what I am. YAY PC!
<Booster> whyd you get a mac?
<Nick> I have conqured the PC
<Nick> just wanted to try it out
<Booster> you got it cause you were bored?
<Booster> thats like saying "ive mastered walking with 2 legs" so you cut one off

I just like this one...

<+HMetal> isn't it wierd how the obvious things trip you up and the complex things are easy? LOL
<+_underdog> in other words girls are obvious and masturbating is complex

This one's for you, Kaniaz...

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at www.youwillbereallyfreakingsorryifyouclickthis.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

Those darn slips of the tongue -- or in this case, fingertip...

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit

Ignorance is bliss -- to the ignorant; to those witnessing it, ignorance is the best kind of comedic entertainment in the world...

<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

Here's another one for YOU, bradybaker!

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

'Nother pro-PC one...

< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.

Finally, a quote for all nationalities to enjoy...

<benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
<benja> The survey was a huge failure...
<benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
<benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
<benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
<benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
<benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
<benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
<benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

He's saying what we're all thinking...

<Galactic> you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
<Galactic> I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
<Galactic> the Trix rabbit, for example
<Galactic> I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
<Galactic> I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
<Galactic> fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
<Galactic> "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
<Galactic> Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
<Galactic> FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
<Galactic> I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
<Galactic> and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
<Galactic> and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
<Galactic> I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
<Galactic> "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
<Galactic> NO.
<Galactic> I'd be thinking
<Galactic> "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
<Galactic> another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
<Galactic> last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
<Galactic> they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
<Flaming_Duck> not me
<Flaming Duck> I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
<Flaming_Duck> I mean, I eat when I get up
<Flaming_Duck> but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
<FLaming_Suck> bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
<Flaming_Duck> don't give me that shit.
<Galactic> Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
<Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic> ....
<Galactic> KILL THEM, BITCH!
<Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic> it's just always bothered me."

Gothlark, honey, this is for JOOO!

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you

And I thought I was forgetful...if I was her kid, I would hate her for a month.

-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE

Sometimes, one word is all it takes...

<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself

Not a big mech fan myself, but whatever...

<Upth> transformers, as I understand it, was inspired by a guy in a traffic jam going "hmm... if my car transformed into a giant bipedal robot I wouldn't have to worry about this shit"

<_< >_> ^_^

<mnsnsan> fourteen is legal in canada <chrizto> with the exchange rate, that makes the legal limit like, 5 in the us

O.o ...and sometimes all it takes is the right setup...

<RedRaptor> I am the terror that flaps in the night
<Fruit> ......XXXL womens underwear on a clothes line?

What does your taste in music say about you?!

<eminem_fan> they changed google!
<eminem_fan> i hate it, it's like new coke
<Blacgrass> wtf, you're like eleven, how do you know about new coke?
<eminem_fan> stfu blac, how u know I'm 11?
<Blacgrass> do a google search for "eminem fans"...

Dang, this post is gonna be edited like a thousand freaking times by tomorrow...

Originally posted by Rakkantekimusouka
Mandy: The baby's kickin'.
Adam: well kick that little fucker back.
Adam: gotta start early with discipline

I guess that's enough for now. Wow...hey, we should have a thread dedicated to a DV version of these quote things. It'd be in Memorable Topics in under a week.

LOL... And that's a cool idea.

Here's one Kaniaz might enjoy...

<s3ph> ^_^ <-----<<<
<s3ph> ^_^ <-----<<<
<s3ph> ^_^ <-----<<<
<s3ph> ^_^ <-----<<<
<s3ph> O_o <-----<<<
<s3ph> o_O <-----<<<
<s3ph> O_o <-----<<<
<s3ph> O_O<-----<<<
<s3ph> O_x----<<<
<s3ph> <x_x--<<<
<s3ph> <--x_x<<<
<s3ph> <----x_x<
<s3ph> ----<x_x
<s3ph> --<<<x_x
<s3ph> <<< x_x
<s3ph> < x_x
<s3ph> x_x

A burn for the dirty-minded...

<paRaLyX> what's long, hard and fucked two girls from my science class last week?
<Slax0r> omg...
<qwog> you didn't!
<paRaLyX> the mid-term physics exam

Those who use Microsoft Word will identify with this one -- as for me, I switched to the kitty ^_^

<tarmac> HWO THE RUCK DO I GET THE STUPID ASS FUCKIN PAPER CLIP
<tarmac> TO GO AWAY

I learned this the hard way the other night...it was so quiet, and then -- O.o

* Darth-Phenom tries not to laugh...
<SarahS> Never supress a laugh, or it ends up the other end.

Sign me up!

<b-ho> asian teen with cam here willing to show in netmeeting for all-male porn download in real player format

*Rimshot*

<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia

Ah, sign of the times...

<punchcard> you know you're a geek when you read the headline "Bush won't order ports reopened" and think they are talking about a firewall
<punchcard> "By order of the President of the United States of America, -A input -p boats -l -j reject."

I wonder if hate will, heh, hate me for this...

<gloom^exs> finnish sounds like two alphabets went to nuclear war and the fallout mutated it into something seriously fucked up with lots of i's and e's.

Maybe this will finally make the Conservatives understand...

<CharoNoMe> Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

The dangerous trap of wordplay...

<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
<cornelius> yeah
<cornelius> wait... no
<cornelius> shit

Actual conversation between Gothlark and I...not really...

<november7> 100 pts
<&#96;red> in canada we get 200 pts for running over americans.
<november7> yea but over here your points arent worth shit

Ummm...yeah...

<@MORA> THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
<@MORA> Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
<@MORA> Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
<@MORA> Between 31 and 35 she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
<@MORA> Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
<@MORA> Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia. Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and massive reconstruction is now necessary.
<@MORA> Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia. Very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
<@MORA> Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
<@MORA> After 70, she becomes like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Tsk, tsk...

(InkBlot) From CNN: Rumsfield: Turkey plans will go ahead.
(InkBlot) good to see Thanksgiving won't be canceled this year.

...and again...

<tom_0369> man
<tom_0369> im never moving to seatle washington
<tom_0369> i flew over it and it was raining and gray as fuck
<tom_0369> it was depressing
<sammich> when was this?
<tom_0369> flight simluator 2004

God Bless One-Liners!

<natescape> There's a new soft drink that contains Viagra instead of caffeine, it's called Mount-n-Do.

I'm running out of witty intros...and besides, I think this one speaks for itself...

<Dromous> I think a church with a lightning rod shows a decided lack of confidence.

This reminds me of the "3-11 day" thread...

<Poinky> so, there is to be war between us...
<brett1479> war?
<p3nt4g0n> huh?
<Mororvia> good god ya'll
<p3nt4g0n> wha?

...hearing only part of a conversation: priceless

<Disciple> Oh man, I was listening to music today, and I looked up, and all the kids were like "" and staring at the teacher, so I took off my music to see what was going on...
<Disciple> So I took off the headphones
<Disciple> And The teacher was screaming
<Disciple> "PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH! PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH!"
<Disciple> "GIVE IT TO HIM NOW! GIVE IT TO HIM NOW!"
<[Striker]> O_o
<Elyssa> Oo;
<K-S>
<Ness|Scripting>
<Velcant> ...o_O
<Disciple> And so I was like "What the hell's going on?"
<Disciple> And I looked over
<Disciple> and she was screaming on the phone.
<Disciple> And I just started cracking up
<Disciple> But then I found out that it was really sad and it was her son dying and someone had to give him his injection
<Disciple> But before I heard that, it was the funniest thing ever.
<[Striker]> ...well, damn,
<Disciple> (He is safe now)

We all have dreams...

(@CitizenC): I'd pay $100 US to shoot a cow with a rocket launcher.

I love Voltron! That show was awesome...

<splice> a duran, a thomson twin, eddie money, huey lewis, and keith richards
<splice> get those clowns together and you've got cocaine voltron

OK, I'm out of gems...

Oh, for something sort of different but not really, if you think a song sucks, listen to the Russian TMNT theme -- ANYthing will sound great after that. Speaking from experience...

Originally posted by Rakkantekimusouka+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Rakkantekimusouka)</div>

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you
[/b]

Another version
<!--QuoteBegin-bash.org

<Ded&#96;work> \"Roses are red, violets are blue, all of my base, are belong to you\"...heh, cute
<Ded&#96;work> a geek valetine poem
<Arcturus> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF
<phillys> rofl