Thread: Ok, Here it goes.

I'm going to try and explain some things that make me think I have High Functioning Autism...

I don't know where to start so i'll just dive right in:


I find it quite hard to explain things, so people often think i'm lying. When I think that people think i'm lying, I can't help but act suspicious.



I have synesthesa - (not sure what the specific names are, but I see sounds, hear shapes, each letter of the alphabet looks and acts differently, I can see my pain etc etc etc)

I can't speak ot people - my mind goes blank, my heart beats really fast, I get extremely anxious and uncomfortable. I feel like I fo on overdrive and theres too much going on in my head. This makes me unable to concentrate on what they are actually saying

I can't cope without my routine - this is why i hate sleeping at my friends house - I feel like there's something missing.

I swear - this is not a lie, I actually cycled home over 2 miles at 3 o'clock in the morning so I could do the steps I do every night.

Lotttts of people think i'm really wierd - i walk around with my head down and don't speak

I get pretty upset because i can't express myself. People say 'Hi' to me, but I don't know what to do back - I stutter and mumble and repeat the situation over and over again for about 10 minutes.

People think i'm really mean and angry all the time, because i don't talk much

People are constantly telling me to smile

I walk around feeling like i'm grey

I CONSTANTLY get deja vu, and I can lucid dream pretty much any night that I go to bed thinking 'I could do with a lucid dream'

My mum used ot think I was autistic because of my art and natrually play guitar and piano.(I learned 'Top of The Morning' by Mike Oldfield in roughly 3 minutes when I was 13)

She also thought I was autistic when I was really young - because of the way I acted at certain times.

I constantly feel like dissolving into thin air, I get so upset and angry with myself because i can't express the way i'm feeling.

I can't walk in a straight line when I know someone is watching. Thats why (I've said this before) I'm never picked for the teams at all in P.E, when really, I am pretty good at sports.

When i'm around people, I honestly feel like my body has been numbed, like my face is being pushed down and I can't speak properly.

I wait at the bus stop, sometimes shaking, extremely anxious about what to say to the bus driver. I get on the bus and completely screw my words up and end up mumbling.

Whenever I'm at parties (being forced to go) I literally sit in the same place the whole time, everybody around me jumping up and down laughing, shouting, but i'm sat there with the world spinning around me - I feel like everybody is watching me, making fun of me, and i feel like melting into the chair.



I analyise EVERYTHING i see

I catagorise everything

I have stacks and stacks of pictures and notes, allover the place.

I have a couple of journals PACKEd with them too - catagorised.

I like to know every single deatil about everything - I get reaallly obsessed

I can't make eye contact at all - I panick etc etc, and people always think i'm lying.

Only 4 people in the world know the true side of me - Happy, outgoing, etc etc

When i'm not around these people - I swear, it's like a switch, I'm the nervousk, anxious wreck.

I barely have any girlfriends ever, i've had like 2 or 3. I'll never get a true girlfriend though, because i'm waiting to find someone who understands, and that will never happen

I bottle up all my anger - i feel like i'm going to explode CONSTANTLY

I absolutely lovvve animals, art, and music.

I feel like i'm trapped inside a cage - inside me


There is SO much more that I could rant on for hours on end, but I don't want to bore you anymore.


No matter how much I explain myself, I still feel like I havn't said enough.

Thankyou!