I wish you would stop and just GROW UP i cant stand the way you sit back there and say shit like you all that. all of you just smile at those stupid jokes like there funny well there not and they hurt if you were a friend and the jokes were funny then i wouldn't mind but you aren't and you don't care you just want to hurt like it makes you feel big and strong you are just a dick and little prick and road bump in my life and when i grow up and become the dream chef i want to be you wont say anything you will just gape at me as i smile and walk past you still in this shitty little town ill be in new York or Boston and own a great train of restraunts. you though will still be working in some stupid little job at mcdonalds with you 8 kids you CANT support. and i wont care then but i care now and i hate my self for it i hate my self for giving you the time of day i just want you to die and leave me alone....or maybe i want to die and be left alone in a nice quite place where i can lay and think. and all the other people just SIT THERE like vegetables and grin and drool like any of you know any thing. going "ya " and "good one man " i wish you would just think before you speak but you cant think without a brain so i guess i you cant. i could beat i know a could im bigger and faster but i wouldn't just let you win like that let you know i care what you say but when i hear you or even see i get a ravenous urge to tear you apart and just cry hot tears in rage and fear and sorrow that i would even THINK of letting my emotions rule me like that. and at school there are other others that leer and point like i am a freak they move over when i sit down, its got better but its still not good i have friends now and a girl friend but i still hurt when people say things to me so what if i don't act like you or dress like you. the ONLY thing that makes us different is that you are so stupid to think that we are really not the same. and my biggest fear in life is that ignorance is hereditary.
but there is one that i really have an epicure distaste for one that is always acting like nothing is wrongs and everything is just fine like you know or even care denial that's all it is. you do things that you feel that you must but you hate to do them you feel forcing into a relationship a job and a life that you don't want. JUST FUCKING GROW UP AND SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!! its hurts me that your like this that your scared and you want to be understood but you wont do anything. i wish i could really tell people about the things i hate and loath. parents sometimes not just mine but them all they all act as if they are what is beat but we cant tell them anything because they expect a perfect child with perfect actions well YOUR WRONG no child is perfect or ever will be if you think that there is no thing that you child can know better that you that you are a moron and should have your child removed from you services you "have your child when you are 18 knocked up and get married in a relationship that will fail. but but you never had me i was BORN to you forced out of a peaceful nirvana into a hellish place fill with hate and violence. HA the father of that child acting as your friend like a pal but you aren't you are just a filler a waste of time and air.
and friends oh the ever important friends the ones that comfort you and console you but there is no time for you. YOU are the one comforting your friends well you should know they don't care they just want you for a mat to walk all over. relationships and caring is all pointless and you know why because you DIE and know one will care.
people will show up at your funeral and act like they mourn and act for a while like they miss you but they will stop and they will die and tombs will erode and paper will mold and you will be forgotten

i am sorry i got so emotionally i was just mad about someone on my bus and its just snowballed into a rage just ignore this or if you a mod and want to delete this