If X is your height from toliet water surface and poop in inches, and Y is the size of the poop in inches, and Z is the spash distance. Using my equation (which I will print soon), we can find an appropriate distance to "jump up" from, to avoid the "Splash Ass". Research has proven the "Splash Ass" may increase wiping time exponentially. Therefore:

(.5)(2Y) * (X/Y) = Z

For example:

(.5)(2 * 5 inch poo) * (10 inches from toliet water surface / 5 inch poo) = 10 inch splash.

Studies are currently in progress to find any flaws in this theory. It goes against all laws of Poop gravity, but is revolutionary in the field of science...