Hi everyone -
I apologize for not going and doing all the research myself, but I honestly don't have enough time right now. I hope that someone will be kind enough to help me out. And I apologize for my bad English too .
I've been having SP for around a year now, normally experiencing at least 1 episode a week. Over the last couple of months I've been waking up several times a week literally every hour-2hours, each time with SP.
The hallucinations vary; sometimes they're just random coloured shapes and patterns, other times they're objects floating above my chest (I saw boxing gloves a few nights ago, and a voice told me to put them on), sometimes they're cartoon or video game characters, but there are others that really do terrify me..things truly from nightmares.
To my knowledge I'm perfectly sane, but I could swear I'm seeing demons, monsters, and creatures of Greek legend. What's worse is these ones are usually accompanied with sounds and physical sensations, both of which are also nightmarish, but I am unable to make a noise or move any part of my body. Sometimes they lunge at me too and I can feel them just as they make contact with me, and somehow then I am able to close my eyes and upon waking up they are gone.
The other frightening thing is that half the time when I wake up with SP I still do not realize that what I'm seeing are hallucinations. The random ones are fine, but the nightmarish ones near give me a heart attack.
For the record, I was heavily into the rave and party scene all throughout my teens up until 2 years ago when I started to calm down (not stop though) and through this was a frequent user of MDMA, amphetamine, cocaine, ketamine, LSD, and marijuana. I am thinking this SP is the drug usage now taking its toll. Nowadays the only illegal drug I take is mary jane, and only once or twice a week at best.
I'm too scared to talk to a doctor in case they try to get me institutionalized or force me to take anti halluciongenics. So, could anyone tell me, perhaps why am I now having SP and what I can do to alleviate it?
Thanks.
|
|
Bookmarks