I'm hungry, i don't know but i can't now

[Kanious]

Hey people, i'm trying to WILD since 07/12/2009. ok yesterday i was in Sleep Paralysis buti woke up. After this i was trying to regain the SP, and i got it more strong [that time the black of my vision of closed eyes was like green smoke floating, and there was an "bee buzz' strong in my right ear...I woke up thinking that there was an bee in my room, this time i fucked this up ]... Today i was lying in my bed when i got the begin of SLEEP PARALYSIS..That was only an feeling of falling down [like in an roller coaster]....I was trying to enjoy it thinking "wow i'm in a rollercoaster hahaha, i'll have LD"... That lasts like 1 minute, but i was feeling 100% normal again, so i tried to not move again [i wasn't moving again for 30 min], but nothing. Something's wrong... I know that yesterday i was SO CLOSE to an LD when the paralysis got stronger...But i always have a feeling that i can stop the SP [and i can when i want] An that's a funny thing: when i want to wild this don't happen...But when i give up and think "now i can't do it anymore today" SP takes me... *I'm writing an Dream Journal since Saturday, i'm doing RC's like 200 times a day [i'm loving to do this haha] *²EDIT: Now i can remember one of my dreams, and it was so vivid! *³But yesterday i had 4 [or more, i don't remember,some of them were FALSE AWAKENINGS] great vivid dreams, one i was to do a RC but i woke up... I just don't know what's wrong with me...i read so much people telling that they can't get off the SP...And i can, even if it's strong... I appreciate any tips Kanious