Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am at the edge of a balcony, slightly aware I'm dreaming and making considerations about lucid dreams. I am not afraid of the height because I know I can fly or hover and will not hit the floor if I fall. But that's not enough. I realize that I need not to be afraid of hitting the floor, because there is no floor. I make an effort to become fully lucid to do an experiment. I let my body lean forward and just let go of all fears and all doubts. My body goes through the dream balcony and I free fall. I only feel the uncomfortable sensation in the stomach, of falling in the void, for about 2 seconds and then its gone. I see the ground closer and closer but I also go through it and then I'm free falling in the darkness. I don't make any effort to stop it, I let go completely.
After a while, the falling sensation stops by itself and I find myself being laid out gently on a grassy patch under a tree at nightime. I feel peace and I feel like meditating. I decide to get up and do a walking meditation. I try to visualize a Buddha against the night sky. I can't. Instead I see a white light that starts from a point and expands into the shape of an angel like figure. From it I hear a "hello". The light shines brighter and I hear again "Hello, [my name]!". I recognize the voice of my guru. I don't just recognize his voice, I feel him! Hard to explain the entirety of what happens in these few moments. I feel overwhelmed. I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I meet Evangelion at some place and we do some dream stuff together. Soon we feel hots for each other and he grabs me from behind, sliding his hands down my bosom and into my pants. At some point I am naked from my waist down and I have my underwear hanging on an ankle. Someone accuses us of indecent exposure. That's when I notice we are on a bus full of people. LOL But I don't feel embarrassed, because I'm semi-aware that I'm dreaming.
I'm now outside the bus and Evangelion evaporates. The ground is covered in snow and there's guys sliding vertiginously on tobogans and snowboards. I decide to follow them just sliding with my body through the snow. The speed makes me dizzy and I get confused for a while.
I don't know exactly how, but I end up on some room and I feel Riverstone's presence. I have a vague sensation of seeing him entering and exiting through a door on this room. Slowly I force myself to recover awareness and I get fully lucid. There is a mirror on the wall. I remember having read during the day an article about a meditation technique - considered a bit dangerous (I then wondered why) - consisting on staring at your own image reflected on a mirror and I decide to practice it on the dream.
As expected, my face soon starts to disfigure, becomes monstrous and I realize the danger is in becoming so frightened that I can go mad.
I feel the fear growing inside me and, to fight it, I decide to embrace the monsters in me. I stare at the mirror with my eyes wide open until they become so large and red and evil. I scream at the top of my lungs to the mirror and a long viper tongue comes out of my mouth. My hair spreads out in the air and I look horribly demonic. It is hard not to die of fear of myself!
I decide it is enough of this exercise and I recall that Riverston'e was around. Where is he now? The room is empty and I see 3 doors. I decide to go look for him, using a door as a portal. I chose the one closer to me and open it. It is a dark room and it takes me a while to see anything inside it. When I finally see something, it's full of zombies! They are lethargically lying on the floor, or leaning against the walls, but when they see me, they all get up to try to catch me. I try not to panic and simply go back through the same door, calmly. Unfortunately I don't return to the point of departure. I'm now in a post-apocalyptic dream scenario, in an underground complex full of zombies. Shit. I have a slight awareness that it is my fault and I make a mental note to self, not to go about exploring the dream world after unleashing my own demons. I don't feel enough strength to get out of there or make them disappear. I just run and climb stairs and try to find an exit. They are everywhere. Then I figure I can climb walls like Spider-Man (first time I try), which the zombies can't do and that's how I manage to reach the upper level of this building, unharmed. I find a grid leading to the outside at the ground level. There's green grass, blue sky and policemen controlling the entrance to the zombie underground. It all seems like a metaphor for the dark vs. light places of my mind. (...)