Lucid-schizo-dreamer

I've been having difficulties in finding the time to post my dreams, so I have a bunch of them waiting in line. I will post recent and old ones, interspersed, or I'll never catch up with the date.


01:30 GMT

Volunteering late night
I'm in what seems to be a mall, doing some voluntary work for some people. But they are quite snobish. I even spend a lot of money in a coat because of them and in the end they just couldn't care less about my efforts or my dedication. It's late night and my boyfriend drives us home through some roads we don't know and he feels lost, but I follow my intuition and we're on the right track.
[in RL we'd just been doing that: on a mall, getting food for the homeless people and then got back through a new road but our intuition guided us right home. No snobs involved, though.]

05:05 GMT

Guru on a librabry on a mall
Again in a mall. Shop visiting. Remember picking up some bras, but didn't buy them. There was some guy's presence - guy who had a crush on me or vice-versa, but can't recall what happened. Then I am at cash register and there's beautiful fairy dolls on the counter for only 1 EUR. I want to take one for my mother, but as I try to choose which one is cuter, the dolls inside don't match the picture outside. On one of the boxes, there's a cute fairy in red on the box's outside but inside it's military toys. I give up on that.
Then I move on to a library and remember looking at the books, but soon I spotted a staircase leading to a second floor and because I see many familiar faces, I decide to climb upstairs. On the second floor I find many buddhist practicioners sitting on cushions and some monks and lamas. They are waiting for the beginning of some teachings but I see the teacher and I don't recognize him. It is a young boy, with an indian look, more hindu-like than buddhist, but I'm curious to hear what he has to teach, so I also look for a place to sit. There are seats right in front of his trone,but they are reserved and I am sent to another room where people have to follow the teachings through a TV screen. I loose a bit of interest and I am trying to decide to stay or not, when..

Plane crash
I am instantly transported to inside an airplane. It's a big one and it's making a long trip. It's coming from Sweden, or going to Sweden or of a swedish company or at least I think so. I'm sitting on one of the seats and the airplane suddendly plunges almost vertically. I feel that rollercoaster stomach feeling very clearly as if it was real, but I think "It will be just fine." And the plane recovers for a while. Then I have a vision of a road full of ups and downs and bathed by the moonlight when the plane starts to sink again. I turn back on my seat and put my knees on the seat and grab the back of the chair with both arms. It helps reducing the feeling on the stomach, but now I'm concerned that I'm going to die, so that sensation is the least of my problems. Then I have another vision, I'm hovering above the plane and I see it crashing against some huge glass wall. Then I am floating above the earth and see the beautiful oceans, green land and fluffy clouds. Then I feel I am transported back again to inside the airplane and I can sense that the crashing on the ground is about to happen, but then I have another vision of kids playing on the street, laughing and chatting and then... I go into nothingness and in slow motion I start to wake up. I feel like I really died and this is my after-life dream.

Meditating
After a while I fell asleep again and I went back to a dream I immediately knew I had already dreamed before the plane crash, but hadn't been able to recall. So now I have an opportunity to remember it again, although it's not so interesting.
I was in my old office in Brussels and in front of me is my ex-boss who had a big crush on me and vice-versa. I look at him, knowing that I am dreaming, and trying to figure out if he is just a DC or if this is a shared dream. He looks quite real to me, but we never know for sure. I am pushed by my office colleagues to the elevator and we all descend to the -2 level. We're preparing to go somewhere but we wait for a second group (that didn't fit on the elevator with us) and which includes my boss. I wat to see him again, because a shared dream with him would be worthwile exploring. But then someone comes and says he got out on -1 level with the others and I decide it's not worth my time to go look for him.
I decide to check this floor and to think about next lucid step. I remember that my guru told me to just sit and meditate but once again the usula problem: too many people around who will distract me. Then I see a door that leads to a huge warehouse-type of place and there's people there too, but I spot a kind of pedestal and I fly to sit on top of it. I'm sure nobody will disturb me up there. I cross my legs, I can distinctively see the floor and my legs and the veins in my legs. I feel confortable and because I totally focus my eyes on the floor, all the rest of the dream scenario fades around me. I forgot the vizualisations I was supposed to do, but I just breathe in and out without loosing focus and feel happy that it is working. Then I experience total loss of weight, I feel floating myself in space and then I get a sensation that I am plunging backwards with my head into a black-hole. I don't allow it to scare me. It actually feels very blissful. I let myself go with this falling sensation and then I feel sort of vibrations in my temples, then forehead and then eyes. In the end it feels more like someone is tapping on my head, but I stay relaxed. Then I feel I am close to wake, because I can hear the street noise, the kids going to school, car engines strating, etc. But I hold on and then I wake up to realise I'm still in a dream. I'm back in the warehouse but now there's a mirror in front of me. I look at it and I don't know now what to do. Should have went back to meditation but instead I plunged in the mirror and went to the black void again. More vibrations, more falling sensation. Almost waking up, hearing the street noises again and then waking up again in a dream. This happened maybe 3 or 4 times through different ways and led me to think I was again in a loop not managing to wake up - but this time I didn't really want to anyway.
Last time I wake up in front of the mirror, I am dressed in a green barely covering the skin, outfit, with a kind of corselet with ties across my chest and stomach with lots of skin showing and hot pants. I felt hot. I wanted to see my boobies. I opened the corselet but was disappointed to see that my boobies were actually smaller than in RL. Oh well... I could try to make them bigger, but what was the point. I am still admiring my dream body so I get all naked. Then some guy comes and says they need to close the warehouse so I need to go away - nevermind he has a hot naked girl in front of him. So I flew away to the exit and now my lucidity was dropping fast. Just remember entering a bar where lots of guys were having a drink but none of them seemed to care about the hot naked lady who just came in. I didn't know anymore what was the point of this dream, so I gave up and woke up.

08:00 GMT

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING


22:50 GMT – Sleep

Game like dream. Can’t recall content.

0:00 GMT

Bus ride to village in distress
Just as two nights before (the hovercraft ride dream), I am on a bus with more people crossing dangerous mountain roads with dangerous manoeuvres from the driver and we almost fall down a cliff. We arrive at this remote village in a valley, surrounded by woods. There was some kind of catastrophe there and the basic services are disrupted. More madness is expected soon, riots and violence. A muscled guy comes and starts orienting us. For some reason he seems to befriend me more than the rest of the group. We come to help and we evaluate the situation sitting on a picnic table outside: we try to evaluate how much food, water and other essential goods there are and how long they’ll last and we realise it won’t last more than 4 or 5 days. Because everything is torn apart, I see this village name plate half covered by debris and the only letters remaining visible say “...have ...fun...” I think this is highly ironic.


Fragment
I’m inside a house, with a big window facing the street. It has something like an advertisement stick on the window and I’m trying to read it on reverse, when some guy outside knocks on the window. He wants to speak to me and seems a bit angry. I exit the place.

Mourning a dying man
I’m now entering a room at my neighbour C. house. Her dad is extremely sick (in some kind of coma) and people are all gathered around him, mourning him, as if he was already dead. Strangely, some of my cousins and even my late grand-grandmother are also there, even if they don’t belong to this family or are alive at all. I feel this is very uncomfortable and wonder if they have no hopes that he gets better? On my way out I meet my dad and he says I have to be more loving towards him because one day he’ll also be lying dead like this guy. Sure, but I already know that, no point in stressing that out!


2:30 GMT

More details of a previous dream
Regarding the mosque lucid dream I had had a few nights before, someone comes in this dream to tell me it is actually surrounded by English-style gardens but doesn’t know anything about sacred stones, only that there was some stone-sculpture exhibition there and that a few days some people gathered there to celebrate some ceremony.

I’m no dancer
I’m on some place where it’s playing music and I feel like dancing. I actually think I’m doing ok, when more people join me. I can tell they are professional dancers and compared to them I’m just not good enough, but I’m having fun, so I don’t care. Then I realise I’m in the middle of some dance class final exam. The teacher comes to me and asks me “Do you think you danced well? and I say that on a professional level, of course not. Then she asks some other dancer “Do you think she danced well?” and he says no. Then she says she rests her case and turns her back on me, like outcasting me. I feel a bit upset. I mean, I know I am just an amateur, but my dancing is not that offensive to anybody’s eyes, no need to be so tough on me. Some fellow dancers show solidarity with me but in the end I say it’s ok, in fact she is right. Then I invite them to come along with me to a Vivaldi concert that will happen on some nearby auditorium.


3:40 GMT

A lucid hot date
I’m with Nighthawk watching tv on the couch on a living room. At first we're apart from each other, but slowly we snuggle with each other, our noses are barely touching each other, we look in each other’s eyes and we kiss. He whispered “My god, it’s so good to kiss you.” and I smiled, my heart thumping. He says ”Marry me.” I don’t know what to say and I say it’s complicated. He knows, he gets up, determined about something. I don't stop him, but seconds later I decide to go after him. On the corridor I remember to do a reality check . I put my hand on the wall and it sinks. I get lucid and for the first time on a lucid dream I actually feel frustrated that it is just a dream but I still decide I want to see how this will go on.
I find him on the next room with Riverstone, who is completely focused on something like a book and holding a cup of tea in his hand. I put my hand on the wall, I make a hole on it and I ask them “Do you know what this means?”. Riverstone looks totally disconnected and doesn’t react. Nighthawk has a misterious smile on his face and I don’t understand what goes on on his mind. I grab a piece of dissolved wall on my hand and pour it into Riverstone cup of tea telling him “This is just a fucking dream!”. He says I’m telling nonsense. I turn to Nighthawk and I say “He is always like this, he never believes me!”. Nighthawk, on the other hand, seems to be understanding exactly what I am talking about. Then he surprises me by replying “Well, I, on the other hand, know for sure this is damn real! I am really here with you!!! And I know we're dreaming!” Really? WOW! I was amazed.
I ask him “How...?” and he continues saying that he doesn’t recall those many dreams, but he does recall a few once in a while and that this might be one of those he will remember. I tell him he must absolutely remember this one!
At this point I realise that Riverstone is no longer with us. I turn to Nighthawk, absolutely thrilled and exhilarated with this totally lucid dream encounter. We smile and we kiss each other again, more passionately. We fall on the bed. I feel delighted with everything. Then his image starts to flicker and we realise he is losing lucidity and waking up. He says “Damn, not yet! I want to stay with you!” and I try to keep him there with me, grabbing him firmly. But he becomes just a blur, a shadow, until he totally disappears, like sand through my fingers. I find myself in this empty room, happy and sad at the same time. I sit on the floor and I stay there for a long time, hoping that he might re-enter the dream. But when I no longer feel the residues of his presence I decide there’s no point in staying longer, so I also wake up.

5:00 GMT

Excursion on the USA
I’m with Riverstone on some excursion in the US. We’re on a bus. A pregnant lady is just sitting in front of us. We’re passing by N.Y. and Riverstone is screaming joyfully every times he sees a landmark he recognizes. Later we’re outside any city, on some road leading to some other totally different place. We find ourselves in a swamp area. We see alligators on water and for some strange reason there’s a black guy swimming bravely among them. I worry for the guy but also comment that is so funny to be seeing alligators as I just had some conversation with someone about alligators during the day.


6:35 GMT

Love letter
I am again on a bus and some stupid guy/kid reads out loud a love letter I wrote to someone else. Although he doesn’t mention my name, he knows it’s mine and I believe everybody else will also know it’s mine. I wonder how he got it and feel terribly irritated. But instead of reacting, I just ignored him. I guessed this way I wouldn’t actually reveal myself and people would be in doubt. Only when the bus stops and we start coming out of it, I step on the guys passage and confront him with his action. I put my finger on his nose and make a threatening look and tell him something that scares him. He looks asian and familiar, but I have no clue who he actually is. He doesn’t like being threatened and tells me “Ok, ok. But why don’t you just tell the guy your feelings?” And I respond “But I did! What do you think that letter served for! I just wonder how you ended up with it in your hands.” He doesn’t confess.


Camp of giant cats
When we get out, we’re in some kind of camp and everybody starts smoking or is coughing. I comment it must be the lung cancer camp and the joke is not well received. Someone scolds me. We walk a bit further and I start to see lots of big houses, like an entire village and the most surprising of it is that I see giant cats looking behind them or inside them. Cool! I don’t kno if the cats are dangerous, but I start taking pictures of these amazing site.
[inspired by the cat sanctuary of this guy in the US, that collects abandoned and wild cats and takes care of them in this lovely sanctuary with tiny houses for the cats, as a real village.It even as a church and a wall-mart.]

8:30 GMT – Wake up