Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Sleeping in my bedroom with a friend who's staying over. We're at my old parents house, in my parent's bed, because it's bigger for the two of us. My mom is sleeping in the couch or not at all. Then I wake up very early morning and my dad is laying behind me, I have no panties and he is penetrating my anus. I feel totally disgusted and get up in a jolt and punch him, saying that it was the last drop. My friend wakes up spooked. I make a scene dropping all my anger on him and saying I am no longer treating him as my dad and that I lost the last ounce of respect I had for him. I go to the bathroom to wash myself. Meanwhile my mom heard some noise and woke up and came to see what's up. I hide in the bathroom and don't want to tell her. My friend doesn't know what to say and my father comes up with some excuse. Anyway, the dawn comes, so I pretend I just woke up early and I am preparing for school normally. After I get dressed, I go to the kitchen to have some breakfast and through the open window enters a raven. At first I try not to scare it away but then he makes sounds as if he wants some help, so I grab some food and approach to see if he wants. Then I notice he has a broken jaw and a broken beak and looks awfully thin. Was probably hit by a car and is in pain. I pick him up and take him to my bedrooms' balcony. I look for some box to put him in but all I find is some pillow. I drop him on it and tell him I will be back soon to care for him. I think about calling the wildlife protection services when I cross paths with my mom in the hallway and she is with three male and a couple female brazilian teens from her evangelical church (when she attended church). The guys come from the bathroom where they were washing hands and the girls have a tiny kitten in their hands and they are all saying they adopted him and she begs them not to abandon him when he grows up. They seem a bit overwhelmed with the long term commitment. I see my dad again coming out of the kitchen and wanting to make amends with me and I yell that I'll never allow him to touch me again and he may stop expecting us to have any sort of relationship. My mom hears this and she doesn't understand what's going on. Thinks I am being harsh with him and makes a sympathethic look towards him. I still don't wanna tell her what happened, just say this is how it's going to be from now on.
[Note: my dad was always a bit of a creep, but I have no conscious memory of him abusing/raping me, despite my dreams about it]

I'm watching Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid movie. At the end, when I think they died I get the message that they actually never die and that there are multiple films after this one in which they always come back miraculously from their apparent death at the end of every film. I am surprised and happy to know it. The I am actually the lady who is their lover in the film and I am at home waiting for them. I casually tidy up the house which has some active fires from some small explosions that took place earlier in the movie and then I start putting food in a fridge. When they return, I scold them but I really feeling happy that they are alive.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

00:30

Vampire dogs
Policemen find a body in the middle of a street. Someone asks them what happened and they say teenagers are mysteriously disappearing and ending up dead in some distant place, drained from blood. I go home and I am visited by a friend. I ask him to stay away from my dogs. He asks why and I show him that they all turned into vampires. He says I’m nuts to keep them, but I tell him I love them still and I offer them my blood. To demonstrate, I offer them my hand and all of them (three, I think) come to bite me. It hurts as hell, but I am willing to sacrifice myself for them. They are all on leash, but one of them escapes. Then I get worried about him biting someone or even just my cat who is on the house. I don’t want the cat to become a vampire to. Not my pussycat!

5:00

Money, money, money
At the entrance of my mom’s building. I come with dad, but he heads to the elevator immediately and I stop at the mailbox. I have one mailbox just for me, which I don’t open for years. It’s full of cash! I try to take it out without the incoming neighbors to see and get envious.

Where's mom?
Then I’m with my mom on car. I get out to get something or someone and she goes park on some alley. Then I meet someone, wee talk for a while and then I realize she is taking too long so I go look for her. I feel I am becoming lucid, but I can’t move on to tasks without first finding my mother, because I’m worried about her. I wake up.

6:00

Casablanca (ToTY)
I go back into LD. I’m in a house and I look for some mirror. I cross one while thinking of the Casablanca ToTY and I land on the entrance of a bar. I pass a folding screen and find myself in a corridor. I spend some time there because there are some amazing paintings and sculptures that I observe, trying to memorize them. Specially a painting about some winged snake-like surrealistic creature, being ridden by some warrior and a sculpture of an abstract man with a sun and moon head. But I’m brought back to the present moment by some gentleman who is pointing me the way to enter the main room. I look inside and it is all in black and white, tables with candles in the centre, fancy dressed people sitting and listening to jazz music. I look like Ingrid Bergman in my hairstyle and clothes. But once I enter the room, the black and white becomes slowly colourful. I see a guy on the piano and a queue of at least four people who seem to be wanting to talk to him. I ask someone how can I speak to Sam and they point me the guy on the piano and say “You’ll have to wait for your turn.” But Sam was an old white guy with white hair and glasses. I said “That’s not Sam!”, but they insisted it was him, the famous Sam. “Ok, so I’ll ask him to play a song.” I didn’t feel like waiting for my turn and it was my dream anyway, so I passed in front of all the other people waiting and was about to talk to Sam, when he finished a song and got up in a very bad mood, complaining that there was too much people nagging him. Instead of him, I ended up talking to another guy who was his manager and told me I should write down my name on a waiting list and the song I wanted Sam to play. I realized I would not be able to hear him playing the song before the dream was over, so I wrote my name on the paper. I had serious difficulties, because all the pens they were handing me over did not write properly, but in the end I managed. I didn’t know what song to ask for, so I wrote down “whatever song you wish to play”, because I figured he was sick and tired of playing all the crazy stuff other people were asking.

Market in Denn (RPG task)
Then I leave the place and thing about the RPG task. I see a backdoor and imagine to be on Denn when I open it. I go to the other side and find myself inside some kind of warehouse. I look outside and this part of the town looks a bit like the wild west. I see a saloon, people in horses and a diligence. I don’t go outside, because on a side door I notice this warehouse connects to a market. It’s an indoors supplier market. It’s really early morning and they are preparing the boxes with food to be shipped to the merchants. I look for the strange fruit I’m supposed to find and I do see among pears and apples, a few boxes of something that looks like a mango, but with spikes. It looks like the picture posted by WakingNomad on DV, but it is not pink, it is reddish and yellowish like a mango. I feel it might be it, but I insist in looking around a bit more, to see if I find some other weirder fruit. I don’t, so I pick up one of those strange mangos. Unfortunately some guy appears complaining that I shouldn’t be there and escorts me out. He distracts me from my intent to eat the fruit and I wake up. Grrrrr…….

7:00

Fighting monster with love
Trying to avoid someone or something. I was already lucid, but can’t recall what had happened before. I just know I’m on a bus and outside there’s an hideous creature, half elephant, half octopus with a giant jaw-like mouth. It is crushing cars as it moves along the street and eating people’s guts. It’s horrific. And then it jumps and lands on top of the bus. People scream and try to run to the extremities of the bus. The monster opens the bus and enters on it. It shape-shifts into a more humanoid form. I feel confident I can beat it, and I think people around me notice that because they look at me hopeful that I will protect them. The monster comes to me, but instead of kicking it’s ass, I decide to try the “love approach”. I give it a hug (yuc). I realize the monster is female, because of its energy signature. I tell her we can be friends. She gets really confused and at the same time pleased. She just feels unloved and lonely. I still feel revulsion, because I can feel it’s deep down emotions and they are ugly. But I make an effort. The bus is stopped already for some time and the bus driver opens the door. We come out and walk together. I can read her thoughts and she is visualizing us together forever, all the time. I don’t like the idea so I explain to her “You know what being friends mean, right? We will go out sometimes, call each other once in a while, but we’re not supposed to be together all the time, that would be slavery.” (I joke) She asks me if we’re now going out somewhere. I reply I have no plan, but let’s just walk and talk. Then we cross some neighborhood and I see a couple of swings. I tell her “Why don’t we ride the swings together for fun?” She looks at me like “Are you kidding, that’s for babies.” But I hop in and swing higher and higher. She just stands in front of me, trying to figure out why is that fun. Then she transforms into a cloud of black ravens hovering in the sky in front of me. I hope it is a good sign. Then some ravens become black open umbrellas and then slowly all transform into dancers in the sky with black feathered wings, making a weird, dark, yet beautiful, group dance. I guess it’s the creature’s way to set her emotions free. Then she says she wants to eat “nam”. I have no clue what that is, but I interpret as Vietnamese food. We go to a Vietnamese restaurant and she is loving it! I enjoy watching them prepare strange dishes – I’ve never actually been to a Vietnamese. Then we become engulfed on a large party they are organizing on a backroom of the restaurant. Besides the amazing food we were about to choose to eat, they had a huge long table with all sorts of sweets and cakes. They were so kind and offered me to try anything I wanted. The party was only hours later, but they insisted that I take whatever I wanted. So then followed an orgy of cake eating. It feels so good, when you know it’s calories free!

8:00