Xanous' Dream Journal

This series of dreams were a little disappointing. I am embarrassed at how sloppy I've become. I made a number of mistakes and really didn't get anywhere with my goal. At least I got multiple lucids!

I took a longer WBTB than usual (longer than 5 min) with this one and got on Playstation Home Doctor Who pack and explored the TARDIS a bit trying to take in all the visuals of the inside. I think it would have been helpful if I had actually summoned one up or just materialized myself straight inside versus making the blue box first. I was worried about insomnia when I went to bed as I was super wakeful. I had to use my technique for falling asleep and abandon any lucid induction. I was surprised to DILD but with Galantamine it's almost effortless the first few hours. I really need to concentrate on my techniques after my mini awakenings instead of just falling back to mantra. It works... sort of, but I think the experience would be much better with a little more focus. A lot of times I just want to get back to sleep as fast as possible but still try for lucid. Mantras seems to be my fall back method during these times.

Coffee:

#216 - 3:25AM - DILD

I have an FA and find my self getting some coffee. The set up looks like work but its a checkout line at Wal-Mart. I try to grab a Styrofoam cup but they are dirty with holes in them. I move the to other side and see some clean new cups. I get coffee from the dispenser. Mary, the janitor is standing next to the coffee machine. I nod at her and walk away sipping my coffee. (No physical sensation or taste)

My cousin starts texting me while I am walking and though I cant read the words I seem to think that I know what we are saying to each other.

Suddenly, I am in my living room on the floor next to the couch. I still have my coffee in my hand but I am not really drinking it. I am in contemplation and I feel something is off. I am drinking more caffeine? This isn't a good idea if I am going to go back to bed and try to get lucid. SHIT! I should always RC after any awakening I do a nose plug but don't really put thought into it. I don't even know if I blew threw or not. Then, I hear someone going out the front door. It's my wife. She tells me that she is going outside to get something and I can hear the keys jingle in her hand. No. She should be asleep. That's not like her at this hour. I AM dreaming! I walk to the front door and remember to pause and take in the detail. I look at the door and notice it is very different than waking reality. There is a large window in the middle of it. It's wooden and the paint is weathered and peeling off. Then I forget this and rush outside because all I want to do is get in the TARDIS.

Outside the air is cold. Always the air is cold in lucids. Why is this? I enjoy the feeling of it, but I begin to notice that I feel really odd like I have a head cold and there is cloth wrapped around my head, chin to top. It feels heavy and I try to ignore it. I wonder if something is happening to my body in bed. I suddenly feel myself lying on my back and there is nothing on my head now. No don't want to do that. I focus and continue to walking with no other distraction. There is a street lamp to the right and void to the left. I let control slip a bit and just allow myself to wander in a random direction believing I will go straight to the TARDIS. I realize that I am walking barefoot but this time I feel like I am wearing shorts with a hoodie instead of the usual underwear only. Suddenly, I feel a sharp and realistic pain in my left foot and assume I stepped on a peddle on the sidewalk. I let out a whispered, "Ouch!" And grab my foot for a moment. I am shocked at the vividness of the pain but quickly put it out of my mind. I come around to the driveway side of the house and stop. I think it should be appearing now and can faintly hear that unique sound of it's engines. I get several brief and dim images of the TARDIS spinning in flight and appearing in various positions in my driveway. Suddenly, I hear the explosion of a gunshot from somewhere behind me. My physical body jerks in reaction to the sound and the dream breaks apart waking me up.

Mirror:

#217 - DILD - 4:29AM

I hear my son crying and my wife gets up. The light is on but I have a blanket over my face and lying on my left side. I try not to move because I think I am trying to WILD and I am still in the same position that I laid down. Something feels odd. I can feel the air of the ceiling fan on my face and my breath is not obstructed in the least bit. Then, I hear an electronic robotic buzzing sound from behind me and the blankets vibrate like a strong wind is blowing. I immediately know that I am dreaming and do not feel frightened. The sound stops.

I get up and am in the kitchen. I see my wife standing there in the doorway looking very sexy. I grab her and we passionately kiss like its the first time. After a moment, I remember my task and let her go. We can do this later. There is a coffee pot full of coffee on the edge of the sink. I laugh. What is it with coffee in my dreams? I spend several minutes aimlessly searching the house for the TARDIS but don't have any real focus.

Then, I see the front door, but it's not a door at all. It's a large mirror. I run to it intending to dive head first. I pass a DC. Was it my daughter? She says something but I am focused on the mirror. I can see my reflection as I get closer. There are two of me but for some reason I think it's normal. Then, as I dive there is no reflection and I focus on reaching beyond. I get stuck at the waist for a second and wiggle through. I stand up and realize that I went from a very clean and tidy version of my house to a very dirty and messy version of my house. I look around still trying to find a TARDIS but suddenly, the dream collapses.

I try to DEILD but find myself stuck in bed. I realize my head is floating and not touching the pillow. I roll into the floor and stop. I am in another bed with my head floating. I roll again, fall once more and stop on the floor. I suddenly wake up.

Fridge:

#218 - DEILD? - 4:47AM

I either wake up or have a FA. I berate myself for letting awareness slip again. I mantra, "I am dreaming." but suddenly realize that I either I never really woke up or I went straight into a DEILD. I say, "I am still dreaming." (from the times maybe there was not so much a gap after all.)

I am in the kitchen again. No... a different kitchen. I see a very large fridge and decide to turn it into a TARDIS . There only seems to be one light source in the middle of the room and the area the around fridge is cast in deep shadow. Feeling the fridge, I circle around it into the void phasing past cabinets and walls. I am blind now but my physical sensation is vivid. I imaging how the outside of the TARDIS should feel and it quickly takes shape. When I think I have it, I open my eyes. The sensation of my eyelids feels startlingly real. I pause a moment but realize I am hugging a huge blue box.

I excitedly step back but it just looks like some wardrobe with solid wood doors painted TARDIS blue. I become annoyed and obsessed with getting it at least somewhat right. I spin the front around and try again. I just want to see "Police Call Box" on the front before I go in. When I spin it back around there is some cheap ass black label with white random letters on it. Something catches my eyes and I look left. There is the damned Police Call Box sign handing from the ceiling above the kitchen sink.

I decide to let that go and turn my attention back to this half formed TARDIS. To my dismay, the blue box has turned to a type of plastic cardboard. I try to straighten it out and shape it back into a box but not matter what I do, the entire process is clumsy and the material becomes increasingly floppy and weak. I stop and realize the humor it in all. I take a moment and just laugh at it. Then I let out a mocking "WHOOOOHOOO!" I enjoy the sound of my dream voice and shout out again. Laughing I say something Doctor Who-ish, "Dumbily-Wumbily." I just laugh at myself and suddenly wake up.


The next time I wake is around 7:50AM with no other recall. For some reason I thought I had 4 lucids. The feeling of forgetting something is maddening!

I was fooled by a very convincing FA and felt the urge to pee. I peed for a very long time and felt sleepy. I closed my eyes a few times and felt random thoughts like I was falling asleep right there. I open my eye and see some random thing on the floor in the darkness. I feel horny and tell myself that if I can get lucid I'll have lucid sex. I finish up and lay back down to WILD.

Instantly I hear loud music. It sounds churchy but I think it must have been a Mumford and Sons song. I try to change it to a 90's alternative song and it slowly morphs into something odd. I realize I am wasting time with this and start thinking about transitioning. I get the spins and feel like I roll into the floor but once I noted this I was back in bed. I know I am close so I think of goals. I want to punch George Bush instead of lucid sex. I feel like I lied to myself at this point. Then, its like my SubC gets mad at me and I wake up. I do a nose plug to be sure.