Xanous' Dream Journal

#483 - DILD - 8:43AM

I had an idea during a jog yesterday to play with psychedelic sand in my next LD so that's what I aimed for. I was having a hard time getting lucid even with a dose of galantamine (too tired) so I feel lucky to have pulled this off so late this morning. I dreamed tons. Most of them were pretty boring, but I enjoyed a strong feeling of bliss that carried through each one.

[QUOTE = "summary"]I noticed I was living in a strange town and became lucid. I started jumping really high until the dream destabilized then I remembered my goal. I found some sand and played with it with expectations of something trippy to happen. I saw patterns and colors and deep space while my hands morphed. I woke up shortly after.[/QUOTE]

I am standing on the back steps of a house that I think of as my home. Something feels off, but familiar at the same time. It's lightly raining and my see Alysha and Riley playing in water puddles. Suddenly, Riley does a belly slide through a deep puddle. I smile and glance at my wife who is intent on watching him. Riley then takes a deep gulp of water and spits it out my direction. I move over to him, "Eww! No, don't do that. It's dirty."
In response, he starts to cough and spit like he has dirt in his mouth. My wife moves in to help, but he recovers quickly and goes on playing.

I become introspective again while worrying about the rain. I remember that I had decided to go for another run today, but this rain is making me renege on that idea. I look around an wonder what town this is. I recall going for a jog in town yesterday, but I can't make it fit in this setting. I ask Alysha, "Hey, where did I run yesterday? I don't know this town anymore."
My wife ignores me and watches an older girl wonder up and play with my son in the rain. I think I should be feeling wet by now but my body feels nothing. I wonder who this girl is, then notice we are basically in a church parking lot. I see other people come wondering out of the building. Then it hits me. I remember that I was trying to DEILD just a moment ago and almost succeeded. I do a nose plug and blow through. I become excited and start jumping up and down. My jump turns into giant leaps and gliding downward. I try to look down and see if anyone is noticing me but the dream is breaking up now. I recall my sand goal and stop jumping to stabilize.

I crawl around until my vision clears and notice that I am face to face with asphalt. It's a parking lot and there is a blue pickup truck nearby. I stand up and search out a sand pit. I worry about the rain making the sand wet, but quickly dismiss that idea. I see an grassy area next to the church. I rush over and next to an AC unit I see patch of deep sand just big enough to play in. I lay on my stomach and pick up handfuls, letting the sand pour out. It all looks normal except the color of the sand looks more like sponge cake being darker on top like its been baked. I then remember that I need to have more expectation of something psychedelic. I do so as I take a finger and swirl the sand round, stirring it up. I quickly see geometric circle patterns flow out with traces of red. I shout out in delight, "Whoa cool!" I pick up more sand. My hands look cartooned and as the sand flows, it looks like multicolored, jagged lines of ink. I shout, "Whoa, man! Psychedelic sand! Yes!" The dream goes dark now and I feel that I am waking up. I test it by shouting "Hey" a few times, risking my wife coming in the room. However, it sounds really dreamy still so I roll over to my back. I look up and say, "Let me see outer space." A star field forms then quickly zooms into deep space. It's so beautiful that I reach out for it. I am surprised when my hands and arms look distorted and flowing like tentacles. There must be five or six appendages rapidly flowing up and waving like they are caught in a strong current of cosmic energy. I smile, "Whoa cool. Outer space, man." I then spread all of my tentacle apart and the view of deep space splits and moves out of view, putting me back in darkness. I feel satisfied enough with this dream to go ahead and wake up. For some reason, I keep repeating, "Outer space, man." Over and over. I know I sound like a stoner hippy, but I don't care at the moment. There's a brief flash of a false awakening, then I wake for real.

The later part of the morning I was still under the influence of my mugwort/peppermint tea combo.

I have a FA in some bedroom. It is dark. I hear my son crying. My wife asks me to get him. I get out of bed in a daze.

I am driving in a car across town. My wrist watch beeps it hourly chime. I think I missed my prospective memory alarm. Before I can think to do a nose plug I become confused. I ask myself when I started wearing a wrist watch. I try to think back but can't remember. While I contemplate this I can vividly feel the weight and pressure of it on my arm as I make a turn. I am close to being lucid when I suddenly realize that I was supposed to get my son! I panic and turn the car around and go back.

I am now in some work place. I don't work here and I find it hard to get anyone to let me in the back. I take a wheeled trash can and pretend to be a janitor. I push it into the back hallway. The real janitor stops me and says not to go back there. I tell her I need to take the trash out. She tells me that is her job. I say ok fine but I am still going back here. She doesn't try to stop me.

I wonder around a cubicle area then what looks like a dentist office. I can hear my son and follow his sounds into a dark back room. I see him standing in a play pen. I am amazed that he is walking and urge him to walk to me. He takes a few steps and I pick him up. I take a picture of him to post to Instagram. I add some #hashtags and then try to forward it to my wife. Its not working right so I just decide to tell her. Then I get a strange text from my mom. It is an easter invitation. She asks me if we are coming over to eat Easter Sunday. I have no idea how to answer her so I ignore it. I pass my sister and her husband on the way out and assume he stayed with them for the night.

When I get back to the room my wife is gone and I am not longer holding my son. B, my wifes cousin, is there but she has blond hair. I notice but say nothing. I sit down on my bed and she starts complaining about getting in the shower. She tells me my wife is taking forever in there. Suddenly her hair looks wet. I tell her this. She shrugs me off. I tell her I'm needing one too. I look at my wrist watch (wtf) and its past 8. I think at this rate we will all be late.

The alarm wakes me.

*Snooze*

My cousin and his wife are talking. She is pregnant and crying about the baby. She is worried about it for some reason. For some reason I think they are coming to live with us soon.

*Snooze*

I am making out with my wife. The tactile sensation is high. I notice that she feels different so how. I am reminded of someone else from my past. I pull back to see her face. It looks like my wife for sure. I continue. Things get heated up when the alarm wakes me for the final time.

Pre-Bed MD 2020

Woke to WBTB at 3:30 but I had a headache and just wanted to sleep. I thought I could at least set my intentions and do MILD but never got that far. I ended up with a random DILD anyway. I think I was barely lucid in this one as my mind wasn't very critical of the dream.

Catfish? 4:40AM - DILD
I am walking around in some familiar woods. (I think this is one of those locations that exist in only in dreams but I visit often) I am enjoying the peaceful quite and time to myself. I start thinking about some youth minister that was here before doing some cool tricks and claiming it was the power of God. I start doing the same tricks on my own power. I start hovering and walking up trees. Every one in a while a strong wind would lift me up like a kite. Something was very familiar about all of this but I don't get it yet. Then, while walking up a tree I think that he must have had a line attached to him. Then I wonder how I am doing it with out a line and I slowly become lucid. I fly up and over a small river. Flying is difficult so I make swimming motions and that seems to work. I stay low to the ground to have some visual reference.

*memory gap*

Somehow I end up in some sort of enclosed dock. I am walking along and an old fisherman falls in the water but as soon as he does he turns into a very small skeleton of some sort of turtle like creature. I keep walking. There is a container of icyhot on the dock next to a boat. The boat is full of water and has little turtles in it swimming around. I kick the icyhot and a glob hits a turtle. There is a fizzing sound and the turtle turns all white and floats up on its back. I find this interesting so I do the same to the other turtles. I feel bad that I killed them all so knowing its a dream I use expectation to make them live again. They all flip over and swim away.

I get in the boat. The water is gone now. I hear a kitten meowing desperately. I look next to me and see a fishing pole and a net. There is something in the net. I look closer and expect to see a fish but the meowing get louder. There is a kitten with a hook in it mouth. The line is connected to the pole. I start to pick the kitten up and take the hook out but I know it will freak out and scratch me. Even dream pain cad be bad. I pause and look at the kitten. I say, "I know this is a dream. And since this is a dream you will not scratch me. You will be still and let me take the hook out." I pick the kitten up and find the hook in its mouth. I feel so bad for the kitten and wonder how this even happened. I thought maybe the fisher man was using shrimp or something similar. This poor kitten was just hungry and got a hooked in the mouth. Luckily the hook wasn't very deep. I say, "OK. Now the hook will just easily come out without hurting this kitten." The hook falls out into my hand. I let the kitten go and look at the hook.

Somehow I am outside of the dock building thing. I see CM from work. She is working outside with her husband who is splitting logs. CM says something. I float up and get ready to fly away. I ask her why she killed the fisherman. I don't remember her reply but I know it as an admission of guilt. We continue conversation that I can't remember. I basically said that I will have to tell the police. I know that will mean testifying in court and explaining why I was here. I'll have to try and explain lucid dreaming and everything. I am not looking forward to that.(I must have been losing lucidity some)

I try to fly off but I feel stuck in the air. I kick off the building but barely move. I make swimming motions but it doesn't work this time. Then my lucidity come back stronger. I remember point to point flying. I focus on a tree far way for a few seconds and then ZOOM. I fly at an incredible speed. Before I reach the first tree I focus on another. My speed increases. And I focus on the next tree before I reach that. I continue switching focus to keep myself flying. I laugh and feel giddy. The speed is incredible but I quickly lose visual reference. All the tree become a blur. I try to focus on just one tree to stop. I am losing it. The dream is fading. I try to visualize a tree but it is too late.


I find myself sitting at a dinning room table. J, my brother in law in to my left. He is being loud and looking at a TV. It sounds like some football game. I look to my left and see my wife next to me. I wonder how the hell I was just flying in a lucid dream while sitting at this table. I feel like I was hearing him the whole time in my dream. I think about it all of this and start to regain lucidity. Then, my wife loudly whispers in my ear. "I like it when they are drunk." For some reason this jolts me awake.

This dream is kind of mixed up. This first one was fairly long but my memory of it is misplaced. I hope to remember it later.

I am at some family gathering. I talk to my dad about Christians being judgmental and am surprised that he agrees with me. I think this is were I got lucid. I remember not doing much just messing around with the dream. Was I trying to make fire in my hand? I remember being on fire.

*memory gap*

I am out in my car looking for something. As I am walking back inside some house my nephew S jumps out in front of me and wants me to play a game with him. I tell him maybe later.

*memory gap*

At some point I lay down to sleep. I am at a table with my sis and bro and their spouses. We are playing some sort of D&D game. We all have large white chips in front of us that signify something unknown. The game master is my younger sister and she is giving my brother a scenario. Responds with "I do declare that ...." I stop listening because I am sitting there somewhat introspective and realize I am dreaming. Next is my sister-in-law B's turn. But I skip her and stand up. I say, "I do declare that I am dreaming!" I jump up on the table and do pelvic thrusts. I shout "Oh yea bitches! Who's the winner now? I am, because I am dreaming and you're all not real." I briefly wonder if I am making a fool of myself but then I notice their reactions. They have none. They have become lifeless and motionless. The scene fades.

I have a FA. Apparently I was sleeping next to my nephew M who was next to my brother and then his wife on the other end. My brother gets up. I am thinking about the lucid I just had. I remember there was another one before that one and I try to focus on that too. But then my Sis-in-law B says that she is pregnant. My mom comes in from the other room and says, "WHAT!?" B simply says again, "I am pregnant."

I have many thoughts about this but mostly, "They are too old for that." My brother looks stressed and is just standing in the hallway looking at pictures on the wall. I realize the awkwardness or lying in a bed next to my pregnant sis-in-law. Then a ceiling fan above us falls apart and pieces hit the bed. We both get up. I walk behind B and she is waddling with a large stomach. She turns into a bathroom and I pause. I really need my Galaxy Player to enter my dream. I go back to the bed and look. I see M there still a sleep. I wake up.

Methods/Aids
Thoughts
Lucid
* = Dream signs/cues
Non lucid
Dialog bold

Dead End Road - 2:06AM
Driving down same road as snow dream. Sudden dead end solider support troops concert in a pasture. Turn around pushing cart with TV*. TV keeps falling. some kid keeps begging to use my tv to play game. I carry TV and wife* carries xbox. I tell the kid, "I will punch you in face." I see him and his dad and appologize. Dad is smiling. I say, "I thought kid was much older." I feel ashamed of myself.

Hospital Crowd - 3:44AM - Attempted WILD
Lots of FAs. Hospital waiting for elevator. People crowd me. I want to change my mind and go another way. Lady put her purse in my wheelchair I was pushing. Have to wait. I feel crowded. I see Spenser. I push him and scream, "FUCK, PEOPLE! BACK OFF!" I decide I'm leaving. I go to get my wheelchair and see my empty sugar bag and my wheelchair is now a flat cardboard box.* I storm off pissed and go into a room. I see my wife sleeping. I think that I just woke up or something.* I feel really hot. I turn the air down. The room looks a little off but I don't notice. I think must have had a dream and try to DJ about the crowed hospital*. I see baseball videos vididly on my phone. It looks like the Astros. I see a name. Rodriguez. (Does he play for them?) I try to type it but its all messed up. There are characters on my keyboard that glow like strange symbols.* I stare at it confused. I can't see to focus on my typing.

EDIT: Well I'll be damned. I had no idea. It looks like him too! Rodriguez

My Dead Uncle - 4:37AM DEILD attempt - mantra "Remember Dreamsigns and Dreams"
I am back in the hospital. I have my son, Riley. Mom is holding him. I look back and see my niece, Elizabeth is way younger and really thin.* I feel half asleep and groggy. We sort of wonder around lost. We stumble into a room. I see my deceased Uncle Vernon*. Mom hands him Riley and says here's your grandson (WTF?). We are sitting at a folding table. There are 3 windows in front of me. I stare out the right side window and see a boney rib of a carcass of some long dead beast like a cow in the lawn.* I feel confused about this. I ponder why that would be there.
Mom interrupts my thoughts and asks, "Did you leave the window down quarter way?"
I am confused. I ask, "What? The House? Car? This room? WHAT?"
She laughs and sarcasticly says, "The north side of the dog house."
I keep seeing that carcass outside the window. I think on this again. I feel that there is something I am missing. There was something I wanted to remember. What is it. I must know. The sun starts blinding me from center window. Mom draws Curtains but the sun moves to the left one*. I stare again at the carcass in lawn wondering what it is I am trying to remember. I am on the verge of DILD when baby decides he wants a bottle and I wake up.


PISSED! 5:56AM DEILD attempt - mantra "Remember Dreamsigns and Dreams"
We are at Walmart and I round the corner to see my wife kissing some guy that looks like her ex boyfriend.* I get so pissed at her and start cussing and yelling. She starts acting just like my ex-wife and I lose it. I can't remember what was said but later we continue to shop because I really want to find a halloween costume. We walk and into a mall. I open a door and find a really dark and hot room. There is one light and a ton of button up shirts with vertical stripes. I look them over. I notice that there a lot of noise in here and I can't hear to yell at my wife. I say, "We are probably not supposed to be here."* I am still so pissed of and I want nothing to do with her.
We are getting in the car. My seat belt gets all effed up and wont work right. She tries to help me but I am so pissed that I push her hand away. I get out of the car and find some type of harness on me.* I rip it off and get in the car again. This time it works right. I try to drive out of the parking lot but I see a strange path and try to follow. I cross a bridge. Some adults yell at someone I can't see. I see them flip someone off. Then a little down I see some really young kids do the same. I think how bad that was but don't interfere.
I am now by myself on a 4-Wheeler.* I try to go up a really steep hill. I try to angle it but the 4-Wheeler rolls. I just off and land on my stomach at the bottom unhurt.* I get up and have to rock climb to the top. I have a strong hand and foot sensation here. At the top there is a couch and TV. I sit down. My ex-wife's brother is there and he sits next to me.* I try to ignore him but he excitedly holds out a large phone and says, "Hey you have to watch this funny video!"
BTW my wife would never do that and we never fight like that. That anger actually carried over into waking and I had to apologize for being hateful this morning. LOL.
There were so many dream signs last night I woke a little mad at myself for forgetting after putting so much effort into remembering.

Waking Day Journal, WBTB WILD, DEILD, Autosuggestion

I'm keeping this short. I find it time consuming to add a lot of detail to NLDs (non-lucid-dreams)

Working
I dream I am working. That's about it. It was a really boring dream with nothing unusual or out of place that I remember. Plus it was a short early REM dream.

My Journal
Jana from work was a my house. I smell her men's cologne before I see her. My house looked a lot like a house my older sister used to live in. She wrote a bunch of shit in my personal journal. One line of text I saw clearly was

I am way too dramatic

I just blow it off like maybe sometimes but whatever.


Sad Bro
My brother visits us from TX. My mom and sisters are there. We chat and then everyone starts doing thier own thing like cell phones, computers, TV. He gets up and tells us he has to leave because he has to work in the morning. He seems real sad and on the verge of tears. I go to him concerned. He tells me he wrote all of us letters. I ask why and he says so that we will all feel better.

#I have no clue what that's about.

The Mall
I am at the mall with my Dad. It is so crowded that you can barely walk without bumping into people. We hear some girls talking about free stuff so we follow them to some clothing store. My wife is there now and as the work puts the stuff out we all grab. I come out with an apron that reads "Simple Simon's Pizza" I am not too happy but my wife is all about it. She is going on about how she loves Simple Simon's Pizza. I find my dad sitting at a table chatting. I get irritated and tell him I want to go.

#The last two dreams were what I call alarm clock dreams. Short dreams in the 9 minutes between snoozes. This happens a lot. I wonder if there would be a way to have a short LD.