Xanous' Dream Journal

#424 - DILD - 5:33AM

My sister in law M has a runners backpack on. It looks a lot like the picture below but it all white with red trim and is made of soft, dry-wick, polyester. I really want one of my own for when I start cycling back up as well as trail running. I tell my wife I really want one as I look it up on my phone. The brand is called 'Calender 3' and the model is 'Delilah'. Hmmm sounds girly, but I still like it. I see it costs $30 and I tell my wife that it's not a bad price. I wake up really hoping this backpack is real.



it's almost 4am so I get up, use the bathroom, and get a drink — generally milling about for a few minutes. I decide to lay back down and spend some time meditating but pass out quickly.

I am playing some sort of war game on an arcade machine, but I realize that everything I am doing is actually a real battle. I see several other arcade machines lined up next to me and I decide to call in the others to help. Everything is set up outside in near a war torn, dilapidated building. I round a corner and shout, "Hey." someone fires a shot but misses. I use my cell phone to signal so they know it's me. I call out for 5 troops and the come. I realize only 2 or 3 are left so I tell them all to come. One looks like an Imperial Officer from Star Wars.



My daughters come to join the war game and I set my older up on a fighter jet game. My younger is going to be my co-op player 2 on my game. I have some issue with the buttons and the front has extended like a long table. I have to climb to reach the player 2 button. My son gets in my seat and falls and hits his head. I yell harshly at my younger daughter because she didn't stop him. Then I feel bad for yelling and apologize to her as I hold my crying son on the couch. My older daughter is player her game but she is attacking the wrong country, Japan. I know they will for sure break from the alliance now. Think she may as well do as much damage as possible. I watch as she is flying close to skyscrapers and shooting out windows. The fires off a few rockets but doesn't do much damage. She finally crashes into a building and laughs.

I stand up and now I am in the living room at home. My daughter and I have some conversation about what just happened and somehow I decide this is all a dream. I say, "I've decide this is a dream." The world almost crashes here, but I stabilize by jumping up and down around the house.. The sensation brings everything back to vividness. I randomly decide to do pull-ups on the chandelier over the dining table. I feel my muscles tense and I wonder if I am some how benefiting from this exercise. I decide to make it 'harder' so I extend my legs forward to the ceiling as I continue pull-ups. I feel physical muscle strain now. This almost wakes me up so I stop and swing off the chandelier into the living room area (it's actually all one big room).

My son is trying to get outside and I stop him at first, but remembering its a dream, I take him outside with me as we adventure. I decide to have fun in the car and I take time to put him in the car seat. I know it doesn't matter, but it makes me feel better to do this. I wonder if I will have difficulty and waste time fumbling with things, but everything goes smoothly. I hop in the driver seat and turn the key. The car is positioned wrong and I have to back up and turn around. I reverse it and then slam it hard into 'drive' and peel out as I leave the drive way. I drive fast without stopping at intersection and make several random turns. I come to a traffic light and weave around the stopped cars, cutting the others off. I quickly lose interest in driving and my visual weaken. I have to focus the dream back and decide I need to bring the joy ride to an end. I see the road ends at the doors of a department store so I floor it. The effort of the gas pedal make my foot extra tired.

We crash through the glass and now I am standing in the mall holding my son. There is an extra large RC car about the size of a shopping cart in front of me. It's plowing through kiosks and stands. A young woman in a grey dress screams and runs away. Jerry from work says something about my driving a car into the mall again. Again? I've never done this. A security guard runs up to stop the car shouting the same thing as Jerry. I wake up.

I was really surprised by this dream so early in the night. I had only been a sleep 3 hours and had quite a bit to drink before.

#219 - DILD - 12:29AM

This is a little foggy in places but the first thing I remember is some image of a normal woman sort of melting into a pool on the floor and transforming into something hideous. My friend Jana shows up and I somehow understand that this is her nightmare. I tell her that the next time she sees this she just know that she is dreaming and take control of it. I say, "Look of this is just in your mind. It's probably stress or unresolved childhood issues." I look out side through a glass and there are larger than life bills stacked up. I point, "See?"


I realize something at this point and feeling surprised and a little unsure by this I stop and stare at her. Her appearance comes into sharp view. I say something like, "This is a dream isn't it?" She nods then I for some reason feel like we are sharing a dream. I say, "Are you lucid?" Again she nods. I become extremely excited and jump up and down grinning. She looks at me like I am an idiot and tells me something like, "Calm down." I realize that I could wake myself up so I do just that.
She then, takes my hand and pulls me out of the area that we are in. I realize this is a mall and we must have been in some store.

There is a little gap in memory here but we basically wonder around as she leads me on. There was something about CanisLucidus. We make our way into a small hallway. The floor is tiled and there is a potted tree in the corner.

I see the creepy lady at the end of the hallway coming our way. She looks a bit like Martha Steward and I know that she will turn into the monster at any moment. I tell Jana to just run past while I take care of her. I know that I can control the situation and I run toward her. I jump and somehow land on her back. I press my hands on both sides of her head and concentrate. I tell her that she will not change. Jana runs past and I jump of the woman. I tell Jana that she has to believe that she will go away. I look and the woman continues walking on like nothing happened. I say, "See? It's no problem."

#180 - 7:07AM - DEILD/DILD - 3 of 3

The alarm clock went off at 7am. I let my wife be the one to hit the snooze because I wanted to go for a DEILD. I was a little disappointed that I missed so many opportunities to become lucid after the first two LDs. I didn't move a muscle or open my eyes and focused on the back of my neck. I got weak vibrations right away. I continued a little longer hoping that they would get more intense like usual. Another bad idea.

I found myself non lucid in a public restroom that looked a lot like a home bathroom. I take a leak in a normal toilet (not a urinal). A miniature version of Ms. Page (I'll leave the first name off to protect the innocent. ), an ex girl friend of mine that later became a good friend, is sitting on the back of the toilet with her boyfriend chatting away. I say something about privacy and go to a row of sinks to wash my hands. There is a soft soap pump bottle and when I squirt some out I knock over the bottle. The top was loose and liquid soap spills all over the counter. I notice several men on either side of me washing their hands. Embarrassed, I say out loud, "Ooops. Sorry, I'm still half asleep." I pause. Still... asleep. DING! The light comes on.

I realize I am dreaming and for fun, look into the mirror. I smile real big at my self and make funny faces. I'm really excited that I am lucid and it shows on my blurry face in the mirror. I leave the bathroom with no real task in mind and go exploring.

There's a slight memory gap but I was basically running around what looked like a shopping mall laughing manically and being overly hyper. I end up busting in some door that went into some office space in the back part of the mall. There are several women sitting at a conference desk. For some reason the song Hey Ladies by the Beastie Boys pops in my head. I confuse the lyrics a little and loudly sing, "HEY LADIES! WHERE'S ALL THE SINGLE LADIES IN THE HOUSE!?" My intentions were never sexual and judging by all the bored and disinterested stares that I got in reply, I think my subconscious knew it.
I say, "What? Really? Nobody?"

Then I remember that I saw Ms. Page in the bathroom and began to regret that we haven't talked in a long time in waking life. I see a corded phone on the conference desk and pick up the receiver to page her. At that moment I realize I have no idea how to page so I fake it. I dial 'star' 'eight', thought about it moment then, 'nine'. I hear a tone on the loud speaker and I speak, "Umm..." I hear my voice over the intercom and to my surprise it sounds very realistic. "(first name) Page please call.." Oh shit what extension? I look on the phone and see some random letters and numbers printed in white on black. I see '*16' and decide thats it. "... extension one six". I thought 'one six' was a little short so I add, "six six." Sure I'll add a few 6's. Why not?As soon as I hang the phone up it rings.
I answer. "Hello?"
I hear a very lively and smooth female voice reply, "Hey! What are you doing?
"Oh", I said. I'm surprised at how much it really sounds like her. "I just wanted to see you. You know... nothing weird. Just wanted to chat and see how things were going. Can you come here?"
She sounded happy about the idea. "Sure I'll see you in a minute." I hang up the phone and decide to walk out of the office into a more public area to keep things from getting awkward.

I find myself in a busy food court and take a seat on a bench looking around for her face in a sea of strangers. I feel the dream getting distorted and hazy so I get up and pace around. I still feel really amped up and decided the pacing was a good idea. My legs feel tense and energetic and what I really want to do now is go for a run but I force myself to calm down and wait. I'm curious if she will actually show up.

I come up behind one woman that I think might be her and quickly give her a friendly hug from behind but when she turns around it doesn't really look like her. I just go with it hoping she will change. I say, "Hi! It's good to see you again." The woman just glares at me. I notice now that she is a blond and my friend was never blond and now her face is all wrong. I say to her, "Oh sorry. I thought you were someone else."
She hatefully and sarcastically replies, "Uh yeah.. You think?" and storms off.
I shout after her, "WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?"

I search around some more and spot Ms. Page sitting on the bench that I was just at. I walk over and sit next to her. She is holding a toddler and I remember that she was pregnant the last time I talked to her in walking life. I study her face for a moment to make sure. It looks just like her but her face is a little shifty. I shrug that off as normal.
"Oh hi!" I said. "I forgot that you had another kid! What's her name?"
She starts talking excitedly but now the dream is fading. I take her left and and hold it in both of mine. I don't care anymore what she is saying and I begin to softly stroke the back of her hand for stability. It's not working and I shush her so I can concentrate.
Showing real concern she asks me, "What wrong?"
I say, "Oh nothing really. It's just that I'm waking up now and I don't want to." The scene fades to black.

I see another scene forming but force myself awake as I know my time must but almost up. The dream felt like it went on for a long time and I was afraid to forget.

The alarm goes of for the second time once I start to DJ in my phone.

I'm keeping this short. I find it time consuming to add a lot of detail to NLDs (non-lucid-dreams)

Working
I dream I am working. That's about it. It was a really boring dream with nothing unusual or out of place that I remember. Plus it was a short early REM dream.

My Journal
Jana from work was a my house. I smell her men's cologne before I see her. My house looked a lot like a house my older sister used to live in. She wrote a bunch of shit in my personal journal. One line of text I saw clearly was

I am way too dramatic

I just blow it off like maybe sometimes but whatever.


Sad Bro
My brother visits us from TX. My mom and sisters are there. We chat and then everyone starts doing thier own thing like cell phones, computers, TV. He gets up and tells us he has to leave because he has to work in the morning. He seems real sad and on the verge of tears. I go to him concerned. He tells me he wrote all of us letters. I ask why and he says so that we will all feel better.

#I have no clue what that's about.

The Mall
I am at the mall with my Dad. It is so crowded that you can barely walk without bumping into people. We hear some girls talking about free stuff so we follow them to some clothing store. My wife is there now and as the work puts the stuff out we all grab. I come out with an apron that reads "Simple Simon's Pizza" I am not too happy but my wife is all about it. She is going on about how she loves Simple Simon's Pizza. I find my dad sitting at a table chatting. I get irritated and tell him I want to go.

#The last two dreams were what I call alarm clock dreams. Short dreams in the 9 minutes between snoozes. This happens a lot. I wonder if there would be a way to have a short LD.