Xanous' Dream Journal

#482 - DEILD - 4:11AM

I have a false awakening where there is some sort of party going on in my bedroom with the guys from work. There's some issue with the Playstation and I have to sort it out. I am a little annoyed they were being so loud and woke me up but I manage to go back to sleep.

I wake slightly and move just a bit to get more comfortable and focus on DEILD. There are some very mild vibrations and I get too caught up in focusing on that causing my lucidity to dip a bit.As I wait, my wife rolls over closer and starts making out with me. I'm really enjoying this and wonder if she's woke up wanting to do it or if I am really just dreaming. Either way I don't care and just enjoy the moment. She starts talking about wanting sex and some other things that surprise me a little. I think this is probably a dream and while I ponder that I actually hear her begin to snore. I realize she can't possibly be making out with me and snoring at the same time and my full lucidity returns. Unfortunately my wife begins to toss and turn a bit and it totally wakes me up.

After she settles down, I try to DEILD again only to fail. I am in the living room painting a mural on the wall. I am working painting a man and I keep having trouble with the white beard. I manage to get it to look right, but when I look away to reload my brush, the different color have blended together too much. I step back to the whole picture and I notice different sections that don't go. The man is too small and standing in trees and on the other end someone has painted furniture. I give up and tell myself I'll have to just paint over the whole and start fresh later. I decide to go back to bed for now and when I lay down thinking about all of this, I realize it's a dream.

It's really dark now and my wife is talking a bunch of nonsense. It's so distracting that I can't even think. I shout, "SHUT UP!" Shocked at my out burst I wait for her to retaliate, but she is now silent. I chuckle a bit and wonder if I said that in my sleep because it sounded so loud and clear. I shout out again wondering if maybe I really am awake. I do a nose plug and blow through so I get up, but it all feels to real. I fall back into bed and then decide to just go for it. I get up and move out of the bed room in the total darkness. I shout, "HEY DREAM!" and then fall into an abyss. I enjoy the sensation of falling for a few seconds and then hit the floor. I realize I am back in the bedroom. It's still too dark, but I can see that much. I recall the make out session from earlier and find my wife. I'll spare the details, but I decided to have raunchy sex with my wife. It's a pretty lengthy segment for a lucid dream. Some how we move around the room this is all happening and end up in the bathroom. I notice the woman has shifted from looking like my wife to looking like some other woman. I really just want my wife, but realize this is the nature of dreams.

I stand up in the bathroom and notice is nearly totally dark again. I recall a trick I was told about and blind summon a light from my pocket. I get some light when I flick it, but see some hideous monster with giant eyes looking at me. I put away the lighter and blindly punch at the creature as I move back into the bedroom. I quickly decide to forget I saw that and just wondering into the dining room. I try light switches and even find a huge breaker box. I flip all the switches, but I still can't see. I'm starting to get annoyed now and desperately look for any light source. I notice the fridge is open a bit and light is spilling out of it. I open and study the food items but they all look oddly distorted. I go back into the dining room and see a super bright light coming from a bowl on the table. It's too bright to look at, but only dimly lights the room. I get on the floor and study the wood grain for a bit to stabilize. Now the kitchen light is all the way on so I rush to it. When I get there the room distorts and morphs and the dream fades.

I find myself back in bed looking at my phone. I have a snapchat text open. It's mostly non letter characters, but there is one sentence. "Fell a distance of ooooooohhhhh". I laugh decide it's a log of what happened to me during the earlier part of my dream. I scroll down but the phone zooms into much to see it all and bar of black makes it hard to see. I notice I scrolled past the word "sex", but can't seem to find it again. I've been taking screenshots of all of this hoping that somehow it will be on my phone when I wake up, but I know deep down it wont. Too bad.

Now my daughters come in the room and for some reason this is so distracting that I loose all lucidity. They have swollen sores on there legs and my wife says it has to be bed bugs bites. Somehow I doubt it, but I get up and doctor their wounds anyway. After I do that my wife gets ready to leave and says she needs to take them someplace and she will be right back. I'm confused, but just say, "Ok." Then my son wakes up and runs into the room crying for her. I say, "Oh look. Mohinder woke up." That's not even close to his actual name, but in the dream I don't even find this odd. I have to hold him so my wife can leave out the front door. It's at this point that I wake up.

Wow I've been in a bit of a slump and haven't had very many lucids due to my hectic work/life schedule that's been causing me sleep deprivation. I think it's calming down now, so I need to catch up on the DJ especially after this morning. It's not that I've been totally dry, just really slow on the LD's. I've actually had several lucid moments the past month, but they are hardly worth mentioning now.

#481 - DILD - 4:00am (December 14, 2015)

There is something about a dude dying his hair then the scene morphs into me standing in a street in my underwear in some suburban area. There is a man talking on the phone with me as I watch a car park on the street with it's headlights lighting up the night. The man on the phone is saying something about a Japanese ghost. I feel some fear so I go into the house I am standing in front of. The phone conversations gets really weird and I hear a third voice talking. Something feels off and I tell them about it on the phone. No one answers and I begin to wonder if I am the ghost. No, that's not it. I now realize that I am actually dreaming.

I look around the house. There is an open floor plan for the living room and kitchen divided by a bar/island and dining table behind that. I wonder into the kitchen and see the back wall is huge pane glass with a sliding glass patio door. It's too dark outside but I see the interior of the house reflecting back at me. I see a man pass by and disappear into the hallway on the opposite side. Also there is Tonya, a coworker from waking life, standing there looking at me. For some reason I turn around and randomly start doing dishes as I try to think what I want to do. I notice this but don't mind since it's preventing the dream from becoming stagnant and crashing. However, doing dishes in a lucid dream is really boring. Just do something cool.

I look to the opposite wall and see a huge mirror. I immediately charge over there and effortlessly phase through it into a different house. It looks like a mostly white bedroom, including the walls, carpet and bedspread. There is an acoustic guitar on a stand in the corner of the room. I pick it up and start strumming and figuring the few chords I know. The song is a beautiful Mexican classical and I just play away until I wake up.

#449 - DILD - 2:48AM

I hit this DILD just before my scheduled WBTB. I almost decided to skip it but I'm really wanting to get another lucid tonight.

Summary:

I wake up in jail wanting a way out. My phone doesn't act right so I do a nose plug. I morph through a screen door and play with a cat. I enjoy a psychedelic night sky with planets and nebulae. One planet was a giant baseball. I play with an inflatable octopus in a fountain and then wake up.

I wake up in jail. I believe it to be jail although it doesn't really looking like it. I'm laying on something uncomfortable, but I ignore it. I am not sure why I am jail. I never think about that I just know that I hate it when I wake up in jail though this has never happened in waking life. Its late morning and I realize I am late for work. I don't rush around to get ready because I am bummed about jail. It's only 30 days and I've nearly done a week but this really sucks. They only let me out to go to work. Why do they do that? I think I should just pay a lawyer and get this thing taken care of. I really want to go home. I consider taking a vacation day so I can do that, but I don't want to get caught and make things worse. Surely, they track me somehow. I see an ad on the floor for a local lawyer. I decide to should call him before I go to work. I look at my cell phone. It's past 9AM. I unlock, but cant get my phone to respond properly. It's acting really random and I notice this as a dream sign. As a matter of fact off this seems really weird. I do a nose plug and I am relieved to blow through. Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!

I hop up and notice I am some version of an old house of mine. I want out and the first thing I see is a window screen. I try phasing but the screen distorts my vision too much. I look left and see a screen door, but I don't think to open it. I try to phase, but the same thing happens. I suddenly recall to practice eye movement and I get a left-right, but quickly my eyes feel like they roll. I shake it off. I see a cat outside and play with it a little by tapping on the screen. It's scared at first, but I will it to respond and it latches on the screen for a second. I laugh and am finally able to relax enough to merge through the screen.

Now that I am outside, I notice it has become dark. I play with the cat a little to stabilize before moving on. I realize I have no goal so I just decide to look at the sky. Dream skys are always super fun and psychedelic. I let out a "wow" when I see a large planet that looks like a baseball with a colorful nebula around it. I hold the cat up and say, "Look cat. That's what the title of this dream will be." The cat doesn't care about that and scrambles to be let down so, I drop the it and forget about it. The baseball planet has vanished now so, I look around the sky some more. Several nebulae appear with multiple planets of every color coming and going. I walk around enjoying this for a long while until I have a bad thought. I wonder if I am really supposed to get getting up for work. I wonder what time it really is. The dream is starting to get unstable again and I feel that I could wake myself up right now. I consider it, but decide to enjoy the dream a little longer.

I look around me and see a strange fountain with something glowing yellow like holographic tentacles. A holographic octopus? When I come near, the hologram vanishes and a cartoonist, inflatable, pink octopus emerges out of the fountain. Amused I grab the octopus by the tentacles and spin around with it. I focus on the horrible humanoid face of the thing as the world spins around me. It's eye are bulging now and I hear a faint muffled scream coming from the thing. It's "alive"? The whole thing is slightly nightmarish, but I find it too funny to be afraid. The dream collapses here and I have a few random images before waking up.

#401 - DILD - 7:40AM

I was really wanting to get lucid all night and had multiple awakenings. Later in the morning I wanted to try WILD, but felt super sleepy and a little distracted because my son ended up in bed with us all night and my wife had left for work. I was worried that my son way going to roll out of bed, but I finally decided he wasn't, I forget about WILD. Luckily, having LD on my mind gave me a DILD (however crappy)

Lucidity scale - 4 then 8

I am at work and someone plops a package in front of me. I pick it up and examine. The packaging is shifty and as first it looks like my Dollar Shave Club razors but then it transforms into some potted cactus seeding that I have ordered in waking life. I am excited at first but also confused why I am getting mail at work. When I take a closer look I see there is something like snow or ice on areas of the cacti. They begin to feel super cold and when I pick one it's as hard as a rock. I also notice that the soil has spilled all over inside of the plastic bag they are in and the soil looks like chunks of something brown. This is super annoying but I am mostly upset because they are frozen and likely ruined. The supplier said they only ship live plants on Monday to avoid this sort of thing. I falsely realize it's actually Monday and wonder if it was lost in the mail. I look at the shipping label and see an odd address. I laugh and take the package to another part of my work area. As I do, I notice the cacti now look like halved cucumbers set in soil. It's odd but I dismiss this and tell Crystal, a co-worker, how they totally messed everything up. I point out the address and it reads,

[My full name]
13[something with a lot of digits] Country RD
Desa, ID [some zip code]

I blurt out, "Idaho!?! Are you kidding me?" Crystal just looks at me and continues working. I sit the package down and turn around for a moment. When I go back for it, I see the package has disappeared. I look around for a moment and find a jar of brownish candies. I consider eating one, but I pause and ask Crystal if she minds. She tells me that its fine since she ate some of mine. I become filled with anxiety when I realize she must have eaten my cactus soil. I panic a bit not sure what to do when something finally dawns on me.

I am at a low level of lucidity here and I randomly roam around my work place. I am going down a long hallway when my phone rings. I don't recall if I heard anything or felt the vibration or just randomly checked my phone, but I see a text and a Snapchat from my friend Vinny. I say, "Oh Vinny not now. I am trying to have a lucid dream here." I lock my phone and decide to reply after I wake up. Derrrr.

I continue to wander around but my vision is deteriorating quickly. I feel myself hold my eyes wide open trying to visually stabilize. I suddenly now become highly lucid and begin to try to recall my goal. However, its all too late, the dream is crashing, and I quickly wake up. I consider trying to DEILD but I am way too awake and the sun is brightly shining in the window.

Prebed:

4 Bud Light Platinums
3G Fish Oil

Bedtime:

11:00ish


12:11Am - Flying Radio Station

I am flying in the clouds. There is a radio station seated on a higher cloud. I refresh my Galaxy Player and see that I now have wifi connection. I see a list of a lot of cartoon videos to watch.

4AM I move to the recliner but I as too tired from drinking to do SSILD or any other tech. Recall is tough too.

5:23AM - Walmart Storage

My wife and I bought a bunch of stuff online from Walmart. We decided that we should just go to the warehouse to pick it up ourselves. We back up a moving truck and start loading random boxes. There is a rocking chair we want but it looks unfinished. My wife says it needs varnish. She messes around with some commercial paint sprayer until she figures it out. I spray the chair. For some reason I spray down a baltic amber necklace. I have it all over my hands and I hand the necklace wet.

I move back to bed but my son soon wakes up. I feed him in the recliner and when he done we both dose off together.

7:00AM #132- Voxer Distortions - Brief DILD

I am looking at houses with my mom. We come back to my house in the back yard. I enter the back door for some reason. Maybe I was looking for my phone? I hear my voxer app going off. It's clearly a voxer notification but it sounds strange and distorted and comes from many different directions. I finally find my phone but see no voxer notification as I walk back out the back door.

I think this is really odd and it reminds me of my daytime awareness practices. I say out loud, "I am dreaming!" Not knowing what else to do I rush out the back door but I hit the void.

I now feel myself laying in bed. I quickly transition and get up out of of the dark bed room. As I enter the living room everything gets bright and vivid. I feel very pleased about this. I notice two small panels on the floor that look like tables turned on and just glowing a blueish white color. I go to examine them more closely.

I either open my physical eyes, or I realize I have had my eyes open already. Either way I discover that the two glowing tablets are actually two of the windows in my living room. I feel breifly confused because in the dream I thought I was in bed and totally forgot that I was in the recliner. (There is something to be said about "OBE's" now isn't there.) I try to DEILD but I am not feeling it. I give up too quickly and enter straight into a non-lucid dream.

I am at a version of work sitting at a workstation. Someone is next to me working on something. He is annoying me and taking up my space but I tolerate it. I see someone put a bunch of Walmart sacks on my desk. I am like what the hell is this? Then M.R. comes behind me and tells me J.D. gives them walmart sacks to use and he just puts them there because that workstation is usually empty. She takes the sacks and leaves. I notice that I have no monitor for my computer. I ponder over this for a while. I pretty much summon two monitors out from behind the desk. I set them up and feel disappointed at how small they are. I wake up.

Methods/Aids
Thoughts
Lucid
* = Dream signs/cues
Non lucid
Dialog bold

Dead End Road - 2:06AM
Driving down same road as snow dream. Sudden dead end solider support troops concert in a pasture. Turn around pushing cart with TV*. TV keeps falling. some kid keeps begging to use my tv to play game. I carry TV and wife* carries xbox. I tell the kid, "I will punch you in face." I see him and his dad and appologize. Dad is smiling. I say, "I thought kid was much older." I feel ashamed of myself.

Hospital Crowd - 3:44AM - Attempted WILD
Lots of FAs. Hospital waiting for elevator. People crowd me. I want to change my mind and go another way. Lady put her purse in my wheelchair I was pushing. Have to wait. I feel crowded. I see Spenser. I push him and scream, "FUCK, PEOPLE! BACK OFF!" I decide I'm leaving. I go to get my wheelchair and see my empty sugar bag and my wheelchair is now a flat cardboard box.* I storm off pissed and go into a room. I see my wife sleeping. I think that I just woke up or something.* I feel really hot. I turn the air down. The room looks a little off but I don't notice. I think must have had a dream and try to DJ about the crowed hospital*. I see baseball videos vididly on my phone. It looks like the Astros. I see a name. Rodriguez. (Does he play for them?) I try to type it but its all messed up. There are characters on my keyboard that glow like strange symbols.* I stare at it confused. I can't see to focus on my typing.

EDIT: Well I'll be damned. I had no idea. It looks like him too! Rodriguez

My Dead Uncle - 4:37AM DEILD attempt - mantra "Remember Dreamsigns and Dreams"
I am back in the hospital. I have my son, Riley. Mom is holding him. I look back and see my niece, Elizabeth is way younger and really thin.* I feel half asleep and groggy. We sort of wonder around lost. We stumble into a room. I see my deceased Uncle Vernon*. Mom hands him Riley and says here's your grandson (WTF?). We are sitting at a folding table. There are 3 windows in front of me. I stare out the right side window and see a boney rib of a carcass of some long dead beast like a cow in the lawn.* I feel confused about this. I ponder why that would be there.
Mom interrupts my thoughts and asks, "Did you leave the window down quarter way?"
I am confused. I ask, "What? The House? Car? This room? WHAT?"
She laughs and sarcasticly says, "The north side of the dog house."
I keep seeing that carcass outside the window. I think on this again. I feel that there is something I am missing. There was something I wanted to remember. What is it. I must know. The sun starts blinding me from center window. Mom draws Curtains but the sun moves to the left one*. I stare again at the carcass in lawn wondering what it is I am trying to remember. I am on the verge of DILD when baby decides he wants a bottle and I wake up.


PISSED! 5:56AM DEILD attempt - mantra "Remember Dreamsigns and Dreams"
We are at Walmart and I round the corner to see my wife kissing some guy that looks like her ex boyfriend.* I get so pissed at her and start cussing and yelling. She starts acting just like my ex-wife and I lose it. I can't remember what was said but later we continue to shop because I really want to find a halloween costume. We walk and into a mall. I open a door and find a really dark and hot room. There is one light and a ton of button up shirts with vertical stripes. I look them over. I notice that there a lot of noise in here and I can't hear to yell at my wife. I say, "We are probably not supposed to be here."* I am still so pissed of and I want nothing to do with her.
We are getting in the car. My seat belt gets all effed up and wont work right. She tries to help me but I am so pissed that I push her hand away. I get out of the car and find some type of harness on me.* I rip it off and get in the car again. This time it works right. I try to drive out of the parking lot but I see a strange path and try to follow. I cross a bridge. Some adults yell at someone I can't see. I see them flip someone off. Then a little down I see some really young kids do the same. I think how bad that was but don't interfere.
I am now by myself on a 4-Wheeler.* I try to go up a really steep hill. I try to angle it but the 4-Wheeler rolls. I just off and land on my stomach at the bottom unhurt.* I get up and have to rock climb to the top. I have a strong hand and foot sensation here. At the top there is a couch and TV. I sit down. My ex-wife's brother is there and he sits next to me.* I try to ignore him but he excitedly holds out a large phone and says, "Hey you have to watch this funny video!"
BTW my wife would never do that and we never fight like that. That anger actually carried over into waking and I had to apologize for being hateful this morning. LOL.
There were so many dream signs last night I woke a little mad at myself for forgetting after putting so much effort into remembering.

Waking Day Journal, WBTB WILD, DEILD, Autosuggestion

1. I forgot because I didn't write it down and thought my key word method would work.

2. I am talking to someone while looking at my phone. The icons are strange looking some just black and white and the screen continuously scrolls icon after icon.(dream sign)

3. I am in an audience at some Glenn Beck thing. I get the feeling like it is being recorded for radio. As Glenn does his introduction I heard the Rush Limbaugh intro music. I look up and to the left and see his face on a large display. I find it odd and annoying so I tune it out. There is some blond woman talking. Blah blah blah. I don't know the words. Something about shopping and commericalism. Boring. I notice that she is standing in the wrong spot and keeps walking over to the middle of the stage to look a TelePrompter. I thought she was very unprofessional.

The blond woman begins to interact with the audience. I see Luci from work. She starts bitching about how hard it is to find the item she is looking in any store in Joplin. I agree with her. I always hate it when I am looking for a specific thing and I can't find it anywhere. I always end up ordering on-line. Then she bitches some more about how hard it is to find jeans that fit. I lose interest. Women. I see Jana from work. She asks me if I am going to the big party. I say "uhhhhh". I wake up.