Xanous' Dream Journal

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

I could not recall anything when my alarm woke me at 3:30AM. I felt alert like I had slept really well. I only stayed up for about 15 min and tried for MILD. I didn't have a recent dream to build on so I started visualizing an OBE. I forgot some of the NLDs because I didn't take DJ notes. I wanted to stay focused on MILD. I also include some mantras.

I woke to a FA. Tonya from work was in my house making noise and keeping me from sleeping. I tried laying on the couch but she turned the T.V. way up. I had to turn it off to keep my wife and son from waking up. I tried to get on the laptop at the kitchen table but April, the engineer that retired a long time ago, showed up and told me I had to leave. They were about to have an important meeting and I was not allowed to be there. I wonder into the kitchen and see Tonya doing dishes. I can smell something cooking in the oven. It smells like French Fries. She has a huge pile of suds in the sink and a glass of soapy water in one hand. She looks at me and deliberately pours water into the floor. I get pissed at her and she says it was just a prank. I told her that I didn't care if she was just joking with me. She went too far! I storm off into the bedroom to try to get back to sleep so I could maybe get lucid still. When I walk into the bedroom there is a huge screen above my bed with a French Fry commercial stuck on repeat. The fries look odd but delicious. I notice my wife going into the bathroom from the corner of my eye but I am transfixed by the screen. I wake up.

I recall the dream and try to change it at a point where I could have become lucid.The entire dream was so odd that I have trouble deciding where to start. I am too drowsy and do a poor job of MILD.

I have another FA but this time my kitchen is huge and open and looks like the upstairs area I've been working at my job. I can still smell the Fries and I see a tray of them out to cool.At some point here I do a quick nose plug but it fails. A part of me remembers the last dream and I tell myself, "The next time I am dreaming this I will know that I am dreaming." (Waking world habit bleeding in here! This is actually very encouraging even if I didn't get it.) My introspection is broken by my boss. She franticly tells me to clock into training and get some books out read over some process procedures until I get some work to do. "Just look busy!" I hurry to do what I was told. I wake up.

I fell like an idiot after recalling the dream. I notice It's getting light outside and I feel worried that I am not going to get lucid this time. I resolve my determination and switch to WILD

#195 - 6:39AM - WILD

This may have not been a true WILD but at some point I notice vibrations and it gets my attention.I think, Oh thank God! This is it! Even if this dream doesn't work out I still got this far! I feel my heart pounding with excitement and I take some time to calm myself. I then try to transition but lately it just seems so difficult to do my normal thing. I try spinning but it's slow and sluggish. I stop trying with the physical sensations and begin visualizing. I think of myself walking in the void with my hand in front of me. I focus on seeing my hands and soon I see a dim and blurry pair of hands in front of me. I have doubts this is really working and it feels super fake but I tell myself, "Just believe it and it will happen." I really put confidence into my abilities and soon I am in a version of my house.

I don't know if I just forgot what happened here or if I temporary lost lucidity but there is a huge memory gap that I just cannot remember.

I am walking past some dark alcove and I remember that I wanted to have a Skyrim dream (I've been playing a lot of Skyrim lately) I decide to get ballsy and head into the darkness to phase teleport. I put my head down and close my eyes running straight into the dark part of the wall. I feel soft resistance and then dark nothingness.

I focus on all the visuals I got from playing the game yesterday. I want to be in an open mountainous countryside. I begin walking and I can hear the crunch of my boots with each step. Soon, after much effort, I begin to see it but everything looks like an oil painting and lacks real depth or openness. The colors are dim and dull with little detail. I stop and focus on the ground and things got a little better but not much. I literally am stuck in a painting! I continue moving and try to open the "world" up and give it more life. I feel like I am making progress but suddenly I feel a strong urge to pee.

This puts me back in my bed and I panic a little thinking I need to wake up to pee. I try to move but SP has me locked in. I feel real bladder pain now and worry I might pee the bed. I know I can hold my breath to wake up but I really don't want to do that when I am so locked in like this. I laugh to myself and decide I should just try to hold it and dream a little longer.

I decide to spin and visualize. I enjoy the feeling of spinning at high speed with no motion sickness or centripetal forces for and moment while trying to "see". In a few seconds I am standing next to my bed. Everything is vivid clear and bright. I am shocked how clean this dream looks and I realize that this would be easy to believe as a real awakening. I step into the bathroom and see myself in the mirror. To be sure I do a nose plug while watching myself. I blow through but it's not clean. It's like my sinuses are clogged up a little. Oooh that must be why I failed in the other dream! I blow again slowly and deliberately until I am satisfied. Now, I study myself in the mirror and realize I am wearing wire frame glasses. I smile at this and wonder. I assume it's because I have been wearing reading glasses at work. I take them off but my vision get way too blurry so I put them back on. Better to look like dork then not be able to see. I study my face in the mirror and realize how wide this mirror is. It's huge! I am further amazed how clear and normal my face looks. I keep thinking how long this dream has been and I worry that I'm going to forget some of it. I try not to worry about it.

I don't want to spend to much time here so I decide to enter the mirror. I put my head in but it's solid. I remember to think about it differently and reach in with my left arm. The glass turns into quick silver and I reach back and pull my head in. My vision turns blurry and I feel like I am trying to see underwater. I really don't want to have to form a new scene again so I back out. My vision is back and I wonder into the joining bedroom. Again there is another huge mirror on the wall. The rest of the room is empty. I see those stupid glasses on me and decide I don't need them after all. I take them off and toss them to the floor. I watch as the glasses fall in slow motion and dissolve away. My vision is fine and I guess a part of me remembers the naked task. I notice I am wearing some khaki green sleeveless shirt and my gray gym shorts I wear as PJs. I get curious what I would look like in the mirror so I start my taking my shirt off. Maintain visuals. I carefully take my shirt of and keep it way from my head so that my vision is not completely obstructed. When I look into the mirror again I am wearing a black sleeveless shirt. I laugh and this time I rip my shirt down the front. I look pretty normal shirtless so I pull down my shorts and look at myself. I grab my junk and shake it laughing. At that moment Wurlman and another guy walks in laughing at me. Wurlman says something like, "Oh my God dude. What are you doing?" He laughs at me hysterically. I'm not embarrassed because I know it's a dream. I just say, "If my wife could see me right now she would be all like... Oh my God you're so sexy". I laugh. Suddenly I wake up. And guess what? I didn't have to pee after all.


I found this article while searching for a title to this dream. Not only is it great for waking life but it really fits with the mindset of this dream and lucid dreaming in general.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...il-you-make-it

Commentary
Non-Lucid
Lucid

Bedtime:9:30PM-5:30AM, 6:00AM-10:00AM

Well, we are all sick at my house. I think my wife and son got it the worst. I was mostly taking care of them all evening but we somehow managed to get to bed really decent. I was glad because I felt extremely exhausted and sickly myself. I had decided no WBTB or induction. I would just focus on dream recall. I used a mantra at bedtime to remember dreams. I woke and recorded several until I started getting sick myself. Then it because more difficult because the nausea was so bad. In spite of it all I still had some weak but interesting lucids.

11:00PM
I am riding on some skateboard with a handle to make a scooter. My wife and I rid though a mall and come out the other side. We do tricks and grind on some rails. My skateboard starts looking like a dustpan with a handle as I ride down.


3:02AM
All I remember is what I recorded. Supply run. Zombies.

4:26
I am a child or about 8 or 9 again. I am riding a school bus to go on a field trip. My old friends J and A are there. Even though, I am a child I am still in my current time frame although my awareness is not there. I treasure the moments of friendship and really try hard to be a really good friend to the too of them. I never mention that I was like a time traveler. I keep that to my self.

Later we are walking back to the bus. I am holding hands with my wife. She looks like a child as well. She says how she wishes the bus was empty because she wants to do a little something with me. Then she cracks some sexual joke about my sausage and grabs me. Just then my old supervisor SH walks by. I get embarrassed and hope we don't get in trouble. They act like they didn't hear.

I am feeling really nauseous now after each awakening and fail to record much until later

At some point I visualize healing energy into my body. I am not sure if its just HI or a LD but I see myself lying in bed with shimmering points of light. I am glowing a golden color. I will my immune system to attack any sickness and heal faster. I remember nothing else.

At some point I remember a OBE. I don't know if it was a low level lucid or just a dream about having a lucid. But I transition out of my body and walk into the dining room. The wall looks like an organic inside of a body. I see 4 thick cords running down from wall to floor. I know that if I cut them it will help me feel better. Some how I know that this represent sickness in my throat and will stop vomiting. I pull out a small sword that looks like Sting and cut the cords.

I remember another one much like that last but this time... I transition from OBE and find some other point the represented my bowels. I cut that cord with Sting as well.

Maybe this helped me and maybe this didn't. However, I am not nearly as sick as my wife is. Did I use dreams and visualization to aid healing? Who can tell?

I wake around 5:30am to feed my son. Luckily all went smooth and we both got back to sleep around 6:00am and slept a long time.

Time unknown
I am working on a foam board at work. I am back in PH's department. I have my Galaxy Player (GP) in my pocket listening to Pandora on the wifi. I see several of the women that work there sitting in a line at an adjacent form board. They are doing hand gestures as a sort of dance to the song. I realize the song is a stupid Kesha song and look at my GP. I wonder how they are listen to the same thing as me. Pandora is not an actual radio station. They are all looking at me so I motion to my GP and laugh.
*memory gap*
I use the dragon shout whirlwind sprint (same as focused flying) to zoom down the hallway at work and out the door. I see the colors and hear the sounds just like in Skyrim.

9:51AM
I have an FA and P from work is in my room. We call each other bad names and I tell him to just leave. I am trying to enter some dream on my GP.

I have another FA. I am lying with my eyes closed while listening to my parents talk. Something about they sold a cell phone and now the guy that bought it says its broken. The talk about which plug in to use. From some reason I think they are in the sun room. I want to tell them that one plug stopped working but feel too sick to move. Then my dad say, "I really need to learn to use theee......"

I feel I need to pee so I get out of bed. My mom says, "You need to learn to use the alarm clock." I become startled because her voice is directly behind me. I don't feel I can talk so I just put my hand on my heart and look at her. I can't see because it was dark but I can hear her laughing.

I realize I am back in the house we lived in Luling, Texas. I am standing next to my parents bed. I walk to were my bathroom was and go in. The lighting is bright in here. I see my dad lying on his side in the bathtub staring at me. His throat looks slit and there is blood pooling. I notice he is using a pillow from my current bedset. Startled and annoyed I say, "Well I guess I'll use the other bathroom." When I reach my parents room again I pause and think about what I just saw. I say, "I am still dreaming." I do a nose plug and I think I blow through but it feels a little closed. I want to make sure so I do several more and the last one feels like a clean pass. I rush out of the house because I think of all the scary stuff that happened there. (Supposedly it was "haunted". Long story.) I go out the front door and begin to fly up. But I notice the dream is fading. I hover next to the old Birch tree in the front yard. I rub my hands vigorously and repeat, "I am still dreaming." It's helping some. I try my bicycle DEILD and touch my face some. All feels real. I rub my hands more while biking. Soon I feel like I am lying on my back and doing this in real life. I wonder if my wife is laughing at me yet. That thought was enough to shift my awareness to waking. I hear something and my eyes open.