Xanous' Dream Journal

#401 - DILD - 7:40AM

I was really wanting to get lucid all night and had multiple awakenings. Later in the morning I wanted to try WILD, but felt super sleepy and a little distracted because my son ended up in bed with us all night and my wife had left for work. I was worried that my son way going to roll out of bed, but I finally decided he wasn't, I forget about WILD. Luckily, having LD on my mind gave me a DILD (however crappy)

Lucidity scale - 4 then 8

I am at work and someone plops a package in front of me. I pick it up and examine. The packaging is shifty and as first it looks like my Dollar Shave Club razors but then it transforms into some potted cactus seeding that I have ordered in waking life. I am excited at first but also confused why I am getting mail at work. When I take a closer look I see there is something like snow or ice on areas of the cacti. They begin to feel super cold and when I pick one it's as hard as a rock. I also notice that the soil has spilled all over inside of the plastic bag they are in and the soil looks like chunks of something brown. This is super annoying but I am mostly upset because they are frozen and likely ruined. The supplier said they only ship live plants on Monday to avoid this sort of thing. I falsely realize it's actually Monday and wonder if it was lost in the mail. I look at the shipping label and see an odd address. I laugh and take the package to another part of my work area. As I do, I notice the cacti now look like halved cucumbers set in soil. It's odd but I dismiss this and tell Crystal, a co-worker, how they totally messed everything up. I point out the address and it reads,

[My full name]
13[something with a lot of digits] Country RD
Desa, ID [some zip code]

I blurt out, "Idaho!?! Are you kidding me?" Crystal just looks at me and continues working. I sit the package down and turn around for a moment. When I go back for it, I see the package has disappeared. I look around for a moment and find a jar of brownish candies. I consider eating one, but I pause and ask Crystal if she minds. She tells me that its fine since she ate some of mine. I become filled with anxiety when I realize she must have eaten my cactus soil. I panic a bit not sure what to do when something finally dawns on me.

I am at a low level of lucidity here and I randomly roam around my work place. I am going down a long hallway when my phone rings. I don't recall if I heard anything or felt the vibration or just randomly checked my phone, but I see a text and a Snapchat from my friend Vinny. I say, "Oh Vinny not now. I am trying to have a lucid dream here." I lock my phone and decide to reply after I wake up. Derrrr.

I continue to wander around but my vision is deteriorating quickly. I feel myself hold my eyes wide open trying to visually stabilize. I suddenly now become highly lucid and begin to try to recall my goal. However, its all too late, the dream is crashing, and I quickly wake up. I consider trying to DEILD but I am way too awake and the sun is brightly shining in the window.

#394 - DILD - 5:55AM

I am walking in the street with someone. We watch a strange looking UFO fly down and hover over someone. Then, in a flash of light, they disappear. I say to the person how amazing this is. I just can't believe I witnessed a UFO abduction right in the middle of downtown. I notice how everything turned from night to daytime really quickly and I feel like I am missing something important. My thought is interrupted by someone ushering me into a building. [Something] happens inside and then we are ushered out. When I turn around, the building dissolves into my old house; the first one I bought with my ex-wife. Someone tells me everything (the UFO abduction and building) was just holograms an illusions. I laugh that I got punked so hard and watch the next person get it. Things happen differently this time and the 'abductee' walks down the street toward the building. I follow closely behind the hologram and laugh with my 'friend' as I watch my hand pass into it. It's like a ghost but the more I play with it the more solid it becomes. I think maybe the hologram passed over an actual person. I only recall random and fleeting images next (sexy time with wife?), but I somehow end up in that old house talking to my wife.

I wonder why we decided to buy this house. I really don't want to live here after-all. Then I quickly recall that I have had this exact dream before. As I nose plug, my wife is telling me something. I am not listing because I am trying to make sense of why I feel like I am slightly blowing through. Am I really dreaming? I do several more nose plugs, but the last one is more deliberate and I blow cleanly through. I am dreaming! I don't want to be here at all so I immediately leave my wife and head out the back door. As I cross the yard, I feel guilty for just running off. I wonder if there is something important there that I should resolve. I pull myself over a privacy fence and, for fun, climb a tree. I see my old neighbors house and try peaking in the window. I wonder if they would recognize me if they saw me. Ridiculous. I ponder the house issue while up there. I admit that I did enjoy some memories living in that house and I do miss it in a way. I decide to climb down and resolve this. There is a long winding limb the leads down to the trunk of the tree and I enjoy extra upper arm strength as I move along it like a monkey. I jump down and float toward the street in the front. Someone is growing beans along the road and I have to step over them. I find this curious, but decide to ignore it.

I get down the street and see the house. It now looks like every window has been removed. I can see bare 2X4s and insulation around the edges. I feel like there is some meaning here, but I can't imagine what it is. I enter the house, determined to play this dream out. I act like I am considering buying this house a second time. I begin looking things over, forgetting about the windows already. I notice the laminate wood flooring is still there and looks really nice. I move down the hall and see my wife and son. I pass them and enter the front bathroom. In waking life, I installed ceramic tile over concrete slab, but here there is several layers of linoleum over plywood. I can see a lot of water damage around the bathtub as I peel the edges back. In fact, the wood feels soft and moist even now. My son gets in the way of what I am doing and I have to move him out of the way. I stop and ponder things now. I decide this house really isn't so great after-all and the emotions I get from it feel resolved. It's time to let this place go. Feeling like I accomplished something, I get up and head outside while my wife and son follow behind. I feel like I have been dreaming a really long time now, and consider waking myself up so I won't forget things. I really think I could wake up at will, but it's been a long time since I have had a nice long lucid so I decide to leave it alone for now.

I see our Nissan down the street and tell my wife that I will race her. I hope she agrees because I know that I am still dreaming and I will impress her with my ability to teleport. She nods and I let it happen. There is a surging streak of light and color and I find myself sitting in the car. Unfortunately, it's not a complete teleport because, I can see two realities. Yes, I am sitting in the car but I can also see the place that I was standing layered over. I look over at my wife standing next to me and this brings me completely back to start. I stand up, feeling a little embarrassed. As we resume walking to the car, I tell her how I almost teleported and ask her what it all that looked like to her.
She just says, "It looked really weird."
I nod and say, "I bet it did. I was really there for a second."

Now, at the car, I get caught up with trying to manually put my son in his car seat. None of the straps and buckles are working right and I spend a lot of time fumbling with things. My wife is trying to help me, but it's just not working right. The dream destabilizes and I decide it's fine to go ahead and wake up now.

#388 - DILD/DEILD - 6:46AM

I am entering a house with a young and mildly attractive woman. She is being flirty but I ignore this. She's talking about how she goes running to negate the bad effects of smoking. I tell her that this is really pointless, but she assures me that 10 miles a day is more than enough. I remain unconvinced but I let it go. She tells me that she wants me to go jogging with her but I tell her that it would look bad if we are seen together.

I sit on a couch in the living and she sprawls across a love seat adjacent to me. I notice she's removed most of her clothes and I can see she has grown much fatter with stretch marks and varicose veins all over her body. I notice she has a pretty face and think how its too bad the rest of her looks so horrible.

As I sit I quiet my mind and look around. I can see her family at a dinning table beyond with woman on the love seat. Something looks odd. It's took blurry. I can't make out the faces.
This is a dream. No. I'm just pretending. This is real life. I continue to stare at the family. They look so odd and motionless. Wait... No this might really be a dream. I worry that the dream will crash if I do anything, but I decide to go ahead and do a nose plug to settle my internal debate. I blow cleaning through. The dream crashes. I knew it!

I wake up and move a bit but quickly decide to hold still for DEILD. I focus on deeply relaxing my body and body awareness. I realize that I feel like I am being dragged like someone is pulling me by my though it doesn't feel like anyone has a hold of me. As soon as I note this the sensation stops. I focus on feeling it again and it starts back up. It slow at first but quickly accelerates to high speed. I feel G-forces in my stomach and gasp.

I notice that I am feeling very faint vibrations like tingles in my arms and decide that It's probably safe to move. When I pick up my left arm the dragging stops and I open my dream eyes. It's very sunny in the room and as I get up, I watch my feet move to the floor like I am looking at a foot cam.

I am in a very tiny version of my bedroom with no door to exit. There is only a night stand and a window. I see the window but think it would be funner to phase through the wall. I haven't done this in a while and I very sloppily try to push my face through. It feels like rubber so I try to claw and tear through. Unfortunately, as I struggle with this I am sucked back to my body in bed.

I hold still and wait and quickly see a scene form. I am laying in a sunny spot with trees around me. The green leaves look extremely vivid but when I try to move the scene crashes. I decide to focus and wait for another scene but quickly lose lucidity.


I recall some short and random scenes before waking up. I tell Wurlman about getting lucid. The woman from earlier pulls her pants down and shows me her ass. All those veins. I turn away. Other images that I can't recall.

#292 - DILD - Time?

I blew past my WBTB and woke some time later. I didn't check the clock but it was turning light outside. I decided to focus on lucidity not really sure what tech to use. I fell asleep almost instantly but still managed a DILD. It was short and I almost forgot it but I was pleased I didn't need supplements for once.

I am in some building that looks like a mixture of my house and some office building with huge open windows. There are several levels and I make my way to ground floor. I am with some people discussing business and I find myself wishing I was in a dream. I look out the glass and see a serene view of a vast lake. I think how nice it would be to phase out and fly away from this boring conversation.

Slowly, I convince myself that I am, in fact, dreaming right now. I feel attached my obligations of the moment and almost have to lie to myself that it was all a dream and the men in suits no longer matter. I force myself to just let go and believe. I feel unsure as I risk looking crazy heading for the large wall of glass. I easily float up, phase through the window, and rise into the sky. Fully believing now, I become giddy and dive back into the room past the people and out through the window on the other side of the building. I do this several times until I decide to really go flying. Once up a ways, I lose my scene of direction and find myself lost in a type or blurry void. I wonder if I should go back into the building and interact with someone to stabilize but the dream collapses and I settle in to DEILD. Unfortunately, I fail and only remember a few vivid non lucid fragments for rest of the morning.