Xanous' Dream Journal

#546 DILD Early

This is pretty much a garbage dream but I think it's worth making an entry.

I am walking around in some building with many halls and doors. I notice the dream gets dark and I feel sluggish for no reason. I feel afraid at first but then I remember this is common in dreams and become lucid. I tell myself to relax. I wake a little to SP. My wife's arm keeps hovering over my face (hallucination). I try to bite at it to make it go away then my head starts shaking violently. The effort of it all brings me out of it and I wake up.

#408- DEILD - 4:45AM

Quick WBTB. Galantamine and DMAE.

I wake slightly and enter vibration and have my usual SP time. I can't get anywhere so I decide to just enjoy the moment. I relax and begin to feel myself float then, slip off the bed. I watch as a fall deep into a void in the floor. I can see my bedside getting smaller and smaller. I fall fast for a long time. I wonder if I will pop out on the other side of the earth. At that thought, I feel gravity shift and I start to fall up. This doesn't last long and I land back in bed. I relax and focus while remaining thoughtless.

I am now walking in the living room. I am glad the dream has started and make my way outside. My son is in the room and presses against me to be picked up. I decide it would be fun to take him along with me. He feels cumbersome to carry so I just imagine that he is somehow attached to me and continue on without worrying too much about actually carrying him.

It's rainy outside and looks like early dawn. I walk into the street and remember that I was going to go for the Pegasus TOTY. I call out for Pegasus and look around expectantly. Nothing shows up so I turn around to think about something else. I see my son has been trailing behind me and I get an idea. I say, "R, be Pegasus." as I hop on his back. He's on all fours but nothing is happening. I feel bad at this sight, so I stand up and take a less rushed approach. I say, "R, turn now into Pegasus." I watch as he quickly morphs into only the front half of a white stallion. He's just a horse head with front legs. This is a horrible sight and look away for a quick second. This was a bad idea because when I turn back to look, he has vanished. I spin around trying to see if he walked around me, but he is nowhere to be found. I quietly whisper, "Shit." I decide to forget about it the whole thing as I look at the colorful dawn in on the horizon just above the trees. I decide to fly without much thought and I zoom toward the sunrise at an amazing speed. I can hear the wind rushing in my ears as the dream collapses

I am back in SP and vibrations. This time the sound of it so strange and creepy. It' like demonic children shrieking in either anger or agony. Before fear can get the best of me I decide to let it go and not focus on SP or vibes or anything else. I remind myself that SP is not the goal and I quickly fall into mediation for a moment. My awareness doesn't fade but I feel my body come back into the waking world. I feel like I could go back in, but I decide I should try to DJ before I fall into non lucid sleep.

I WBTB at 2:30AM and took 8MG Galantamine and 400MG DMAE. I kept the WBTB brief.

#399 - DILD - 5:18AM

I am what I think of as my my moms sister's house, Aunt Paula. I wake up and have to pee. I know I was trying to get lucid but I think I should take care of this. The bathroom has a strange looking toilet made of maroon colored plastic. When I open the lid something breaks and water spills all over the floor. My uncle comes in upset about the mess. He looks over the toilet and says something dismissive and leaves. I am in shock and recall this as a dream sign. I look left past the sink and see a white porcelain toilet has appeared. I become lucid at this, though I still feel the need to pee. I consider it but I now know that it's pointless and don't want to think what might happen if I try.

I walk back into the main room while I try to recall my goal. I say out loud, "I have a goal." I just can't remember. For some reason I think I wanted to summon some sort of evil magic. No that can't be right. I start to feel mild fear but I keep my emotions in check. However, it doesn't stop the evil from manifesting itself. I see movement around me. There behind red curtains. A child? The curtains part and I see a grotesquely rotted face of a demonic child. I hissed at me then into a wispy ghost and vanishes into vapor. Multiple copies of these demonic ghost children appear all around me but the moment I try to focus on them they turn to vapor and streak around. I keep my emotion level and don't allow this to turn into a nightmare. I'm actually happy this is happening. I haven't had much of a creep factor in a long time. The dream collapses here and I wake into SP.

I am on my right side and I feel really uncomfortable. My knees are touching in a way that hurts and I am really hot. I try to move but can't. I notice vibrations. I want to wake up so I open my eyes but I see the room too bright and ghostly figures. I wonder if I have even woke up. I consider holding my breath to wake up but I don't want to break the dream just yet. With great effort, I manage to roll over and remove some of the blanket. I feel better but I also notice the vibrations haven't stopped. I doubt that I have actually moved, but the effect was the same. I try opening my eyes again to see if I actually see the room. I can see the moonlight from the window and decide to try moving my hands. There is a ghostly image of me shaking my hands in front of my face. Again I doubt that I am even really seeing my room and as I watch my body releases and I am dumped out of bed. I go blind again and feel my way into the living room noticing what my hands and feet touch with great detail. I pause for a moment and try summoning a woman like in a recent LD, but it doesn't happen and I really don't want to go there anyway.

I am at the front door now still trying to see but all I get is random images like heavy hypnagogic imagery. I decide that I am trying too hard to see. I relax a bit and forget about the problem. I focus on feeling the detail of the front door as I try to see what I am touching. The images vanish to black, then suddenly, I see. I am looking out the glass storm-door into a version of my front yard. Excited, I quickly rush out. My vision becomes blurry as if I am underwater. I notice it is raining. My yard doesn't end at a street but seems to continue into a wooden area. The closer I get to the edge of the yard the more the dream area seems to stop there until there is a definite cut off into black void. I stop and turn back. There are some unfamiliar cars in the drive way under a carport. My house look unfamiliar. I fall to my hands and knees and feel the grass to stabilize. I try to feel the rain but there is very little sensation. I know I had a goal but I still can't remember. I shout very loud, "I HAVE A GOAL!" I can't think. All I recall is that same summoning-evil-thought. No. Not again. I let that go. After a moment I realize that I am trying too hard again. I relax my mind and body and decide to forget about my goal. I don't worry about losing lucidity here as I feel mentally solid and locked in. I get up and find a car in the spot I was crawling around. Some blue sedan. My vision is still odd as I feel for a door handle. I'm really not keen on going for a drive but if this is all I get I'll go for it. Just as I am about to open the door I see a tiny gray kitten come up to me. It has a tiny meow and sounds like it's in distress or really hungry. I pickup the kitten and say, "Oh poor little kitty. You're hungry aren't you?" I put it up to my chest and chin and give it a little hug. I decide it would be cool to get the cat to talk so I begin talking to it, asking it if it is hungry. It meows but I am persistent and tell it that I want to hear words. Finally, I hear a little girl voice say that it is very hungry. I need to get her inside and feed her.

Just inside the front door there is an open room with someone in a bed. The light is on and everything is very vivid. Curious I go in with the kitty in my arms. I say in a weak voice, "Who are you?' The figure stirs and seems to wake up. I see her face. She looks like an odd and young version of my dead grandmother (Nanny). I don't want to admit this because I am getting a very strange vibe from her. I recall that normally I am excited when she visits my dreams but something is different here. I say in a much stronger voice, "Who are you?"
She sits up now, "I am not whole."
I feel really uncomfortable now, "O... Ok."
She looks at me intently and asks expectantly, "Who do I look like?"
I tell her the answer she wants by saying my grandmothers full name.
The woman stands up and laughs, "Ha ha... yes!"
I say, "But, you are different." I don't like this woman and try to dismiss her, "Ok. Well, I am going now." I take kitty with me to the kitchen table and sit her down. I decide to treat her more like a human and let her eat here. The strange woman has followed me and sits down in a dining chair. I decide to pay her little attention and let her do whatever. I leave the kitten with her and walk into the kitchen where the cat food bin is. There is some instability here and decide I don't need to actually get the food. I blind summon a the food scoop and make a motion with my hand like I getting cat food. As I walk back to the table I have a small amount of cat food in the scoop. I pour it out on the table and kitty starts to eat ravenously. I notice she is having a hard time biting the hard food and I say something to the woman about this. When I look at her, her face has changed again. She still looks like a version of my grandmother but has become younger and very pretty. I being to have some arousal but think this is way too weird to have any sort of fun with her. I look back kitty and she quickly runs under the table as if she is now afraid. I comment about her strange behavior as I wake up.

#379 - DILD - 5:37AM (2 of 2)

I am looking in the back seat of the car for something and can't find it. I look up and see the car is rolling forward. I remember that I was in bed just a moment ago and know it's a dream. I recall my conversation with Wurlman during the podcast about having fun with cars so I go for it. I have other goals but I decide to go ahead and hop in the driver seat. The car has rolled off the street it was parked on and heading toward a wooden fence. I gun it and ram through. The feeling of invincibly surges through me. I am surprised by a second chain-link fence and crash through that one as well. It has a nice sound effect.

I come onto a four-lane highway going through a residential area. I follow the road going faster and faster. The car becomes slightly hard to handle during turns and I clip the side of a house. I don't care; this is all really fun. After a bit, I notice my view pulls back into a 3rd person perspective. I see a downtown area like on GTA5 and the dream looks very much like a video game. I notice I am not in my car anymore but some light blue SUV. I make the car go as faster (as I can imagine in this scenario) as I hit a sharp hill. It was only natural to take to the air at this point. I make the car fly up around the sky scrapers and I do a sharp turn to look around. I enjoy the view of the city, but then, I lose control and the car takes a fast dive into a busy street. There is some fiery explosions but it is mostly obscured by a large, thick cloud of opaque, black smoke.

Suddenly, my younger daughter opens the bedroom door whining about something. I assume she's had a bad dream. My wife asks her whats wrong and my daughter replies, "The ants are living with the five."
I lift my head up and say, "What?" I assume she's either had a bizarre dream and is still out of it or this is typical DC nonsense.
I become semi-lucid but I feel very confused about where I am and who's bed I am in. For some reason I think I am a child again sleeping next to my mom as my dad works the night-shift. Slowly, I make sense of everything and try to make a DJ entry. However, as I fumble around the feeling of heavy SP, I remember this isn't going to work in a dream. I notice now that my arms and head are vibrating, though I feel like I am awake and moving around. I am not really sure if this is even possible, so I relax and lay still, preparing for an OBE type exit. I spend a few seconds here and I begin to go deeper, but it's at this point that my wife sighs loudly, rolls over, and shakes me awake.

DILD - 7:23AM

I am following some young woman along something like an obstacle course in a wide open parking lot. There are office partitions, road cones, and kettlebells lined up. I watch to see what the woman is going to do but at that moment I notice a bright light in the sky come out from behind a cloud. When I zero in on what it could be it looks like a plain, ordinary heliocopter. I almost dismiss it but something looks a little off. I remember this type of thing is a dream sign and I hesitantly decide this is probably a dream.

At that very instant the dream collapses and I am back in my bed. I don't have any vibes but I feel like I am in a good transitional stage. Suddenly I hear the sound of the TV in the other room. I can't make out what it is but the volume must be turned way up. I assume my wife did it and I try to get up to tell her to stop but I realize I can't move. I opt to try shouting, "WILL YOU TURN OFF THE TV?!?", but my voice sounds off.

I attempt opening my eyes the sound morphs into the sound of the box fan and I see my wife's face next to me. I am on my back but my head is turned and she in on her side. I remember falling back to sleep in this position and realize I must be seeing physical reality. I still can't move and I realize is this full SP. I quickly close my eyes and try not to panic against the urge to fight the paralysis.Relaxing, I let it all go.

My body begins feel light and it seems like I am rolling over on my wife. I don't worry about it and decide now is a good time to try to move. I stand up and go outside but for some reason I lose all lucidity on my way out.

Now, I am sitting some on parch next to an older woman. I feel horny so I ask her to have sex with me in a crude way. At first, she says no but I get the feeling she really wants to. I gently force myself on her and we begin to have sex.

Suddenly, the woman in gone and I am sitting on the porch again holding my son. Feeling awkward and confused I quickly put him down.

Now I am looking out the window my living room. I see people walking off the porch. The older woman, some man, and my wife holding my sons hand. I think, "Now they are gone, I can be lucid again." I remember that, yes, I am still dreaming but the dream collapses again and I wake up.

After a long night I finally got a WILD.

#191 - 5AM-5:45AM - WILD/DEILD/OBE

I hit hard SP and had vibrations. It was a stuggle to transition and once I finally did the dream was weak and unstable. I couldn't see well and it was hard to walk. It's not that I had blindness or darkness, it's more like the dream state itself was weak.

First I rubbed my hands and could see them clearly in front of my face. It was not good enough for the rest of the environtment. I was shifty and blurry, fading in and out. I crawed feeling the hardwood and then some random carpet for stablity as I opened doors by reaching and pulling under the bottom edge. I finally made my way outside and as the front door closes behind me there is slience. I become dimly aware that there had been background noise like some sort of strange music.

The air was cool and had a slight smell of rain. I am walking now but the dream is still half formed. I call out, "HELLO?" noting the dream sound of my voice. It's always so odd.

I half wake up back to SP

I stay realxed and feel vibrations and hear that sound that I haven't heard in a long time. Again it feels so hard to do my normal transitions so I revert to just pure visualization. At first it feels like am faking it but it soon forms a full dream. I see my hands again and I easily made my way outside. I realize that I had been mindlessly pulling up segments of my front sidewalk and there is soft mud below. I remember my task to tunnel down to crystal cave so I do with it. The mud is so thick and dark that I am not really getting anywhere. I decide to make an opening by speading my hands and ripping a wide hole in the ground. That seems to be working but I half wake again.

I visualize randomness and find myself in a lying in log ride that looks like something from Silver Dollar City. I just go with it and wait it dosn't last long.

Back in bed. I try to move but can't. Wait no vibrations. Now, I don't know if it was bordom or menthol but I becan to visualize and form a full sexual fantasy to completion. I'll spare you the details.

I was back in SP again when I heard my son crying. That snapped me out of it.

#184 - DILD - 10:08AM - 4 of 4

I'm feeling ill today so lay back down for a nap.

I am sitting in the living room on the couch watching TV next to my younger daughter. I hear her say "[something something], mother fucker". This gets my attention and I look at her startled. I say, "Dalynn! You don't get to say that word. You're just not old enough."
She replies, "But mom said it. She said she was going to get lucid like a mother fucker." My eyes get big and I'm surprised she said it again. I look over at my wife and see is blankly starting at the TV oblivious to the conversation. Then I get it. Several things hit me at once. First, my daughter is really 6 but she looks 13. Second, my wife would have come unglued if my daughter had really said that. Third, the furniture was all wrong. Fourth, my daughter said her mom wanted to get lucid.
I say out loud, "I think I might be dreaming." I nose plug out of habit and blow through but it feels a little restricted. Hmm. I'm not sure now. I do it again several time until I am satisfied that I am dreaming. "Hey! I am dreaming."

Then I make a classic mistake of thinking way too much about my physical body lying in bed. I find myself in hard SP. I open my eyes and can see I am on my left side. My face is slightly buried into the blanket and all I can see is the gold and burgundy pattern of the comforter. I try to roll over but I am completely paralyzed. I feel really hot and think I am sweating profusely. I just want to uncover and get air but I can't. I feel claustrophobic and restricted.

OK I can accept this. I close my eyes and relax and transition out of bed. I feel like I am walking with my eyes closed so I instinctively open them. I really just open my physical eyes. I see the blanket again and feel surprised that I had not budged a muscle. I feel so hot. I close my eyes and try to move the blankets of me. I feel like I really did it for a second but when I open my eyes again I see nothing changed. I decide to just ignore the hot feeling again and try to dream. As soon as I relax I wake up and realize I am not the least bit hot or sweaty.

#170 - 4:16AM - WILD

I decide to go for MILD this time but I have a hard time getting comfortable and end up on my left side. I'm dealing with some insomnia so I decide WILD might be better. The last time I check the clock, it's getting close to 4AM. I still feel wakeful with racing thoughts as I focus on my face and back of neck so I turn on the irrational part of my brain to avoid thought. I think of random nonsensical words and phrases and soon they come to my mind without any effort. I begin to seen random images and soon I feel myself in a deep trance while maintaining consciousness.

I suddenly feel jostled as if my wife is turning over in bed or getting up. I feel the vibrations now but wonder if she is going to ruin it for me. I concentrate on the back of my neck and the vibrations get stronger. I hear some sound like she is walking in the room and going around to the right side of the bed for the bathroom. Then, she says something to me. I don't quite understand the words but I am becoming annoyed that she is unwittingly sabotaging my WILD. She keeps blabbing away and I am considering waking myself to tell her to stop but I remember this is a common dream sign during the early stages of WILD and I consider the possibility that none of this is really havening. At that moment I hear my wife snoring on my left side and I now know this voice is a dream character.

The vibrations intensify and I transition out. When I am standing I see a figure in the dark directly in front of me. I become startled and I instinctively throw a right hook to the face of this DC. I pull back at the last instant as I realize this might be my wife. I feel my hand softly but forcefully make contact with flesh. For a brief second I cringe at the thought that I may have just attacked my wife in waking life. But no, I remind myself that I am dreaming. Without waisting any time the figure turns darker than night and takes a more shadowy, demonic and feline shape. The entity has an appearance like Katz but more muscular and realistic and dark. It takes hold of both my arms and crosses them over my chest so that I cannot swing at it again. I am forced hard on the bed with this entity pressing on top of me and I fall victim to true sleep paralysis. I try to take control of the situation and yell, "You better leave me alone. Get out of here right now!" It doesn't respond. I see red glowing eyes mocking me. Then I think of the only help I can call on. I begin to say, "I comma...." My voice gets stuck in my throat. (typical for SP) I try again forcing each word. My voice is a gasping whisper, "I command you...In the name of Jeeee... In the name of...JESUS." In that instant the weight is lifted and the presence is gone... or at least held at bay.

I am a little scared to transition again so I wait awhile and begin to spin. I feel myself rotating faster and faster. The feeling is somehow comforting and safe. At some point I feel my central axis shifting and find myself standing, then lying down, then standing again, all while spinning. Then, I blindly phase out through the bedroom door and push onward until I think I'm outside. I look around and see that I am still in the bedroom. I try falling backward through the wall and circle around through the door. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.

Then I am back in bed and I begin to see something bright. It looks like just a chunk of vision but it looks like our hardwood flooring. I feel like my physical eyes have opened and I close them. I see the dark line of my eyelids close over but I maintain the visual on the floor. I feel like I am seeing through my eyelids now. I move forward.

I am now in the living room but its dark again. I flip a light switch but nothing happens. I remember the demon and become frightened again. I can feel the presence of it in the dark kitchen. I look around and see the rest of the house is lit as it would be at this time of night which always adds to the realism. I say to the demon, "I'm going to kick your ass!" I start thinking that I should not have said that and I start running backward to the front door. I distantly realize that I have never ran backwards in a dream and the feeling is slow and awkward but I want to keep an eye on that demon. I am afraid I will be attacked or held back. When I reach the door I yell again, "Ill kick your ass if you follow me!" I hurriedly step outside and close the door. Safe.

I look around the neighborhood. There is no light but star light and the stars are uniformly spread across the night sky in a dotted grid of purplish blue LEDs. It's beautiful in a dark and dreary sort of way. I gasp and let out a ,"Wooow." I think of trying to fly to a star but like that one dream I feel this dream is still a little too unstable. Then, I remember my original task and walk out into the street. I call out, "Doctor? Doctor Who?" My voice is strong and loud now and I find this comforting. I am looking for an intelligent DC and I want it to be The Doctor.

I see a parked truck at the neighbor's and look in the back for the TARDIS but it is too dark. Now, there is a bright street light and nothing but void beyond the light's glow radius. Several times the darkness takes my vision but I bring the dream back by looking at my hands. I rub them and feel the asphalt. The sensation is surprisingly realistic as usual. As I do all of this I continue to yell for The Doctor to come.

This waiting is hard as I really have to focus to keep the dream together. I wander a little down the street to keep the dream flowing and stay somewhat active. Soon I see the headlights of two cars coming my direction out of the void. They park haphazardly around me and I begin visualizing the doctors face as people get out of the cars. My seems to be unstable and blurry but I see two women and two men. There may have been a fifth person but I cant tell. One woman looks like Bob's wife, Linda, and the other looks and older, heavier version of Sally Field. I didn't realize this until after I woke up but one man looks exactly like a version of The Master"

and the other guy stood farther back in the darkness but he was tall and slender like The 10th Doctor.

I ask Linda, "Where's Doctor Who?"
She looks confused, "who?"
I clarify, "I mean The Doctor. Where is The Doctor?"
She shakes her head.
"You don't know what I'm talking about do you? No? Of course not." I roll my eyes.

I feel the dream fade and I grab her arm to stabilize. Then, all the DCs become very animated and start talking to excitedly to each other all at once. The conversation was very fast and seemed intelligent. I tried following but only understood bits and pieces that I can not longer remember. l speak over them all, "I want to talk to the most intelligent dream character." They don't respond. They just keep talking to each other and the noise begins to sound like a crowd of people. I am annoyed but also amused. I say with a smile, "This was supposed to be a simple thing but now I have all these multiple personalties in my head!" I raise my hands in the air in aggravation.

Suddenly, the "Sally" one stands out the most and I pull her away from the group. "I want the most intelligent dream character. Is that you?"
She nods "yes" but her eyes stay fixed on the group like shes still following the conversation.
I beg her, "Please talk to me."
She calmly replies, "In a minute."
"No. I don't have much time." I know I will wake up soon.
She looks at me now. "OK. Ill talk to you."
I forget my original questions and pause for a moment. Then I think of the nightmarish transition earlier. "Why did I have that horrible image earlier?"
She automatically and quickly replies. "Because of your background history."
I pause and think this over but the dream starts to fade. I take her in a hug for stability and let the others fade out though I can still hear them like in a tin can far away someplace.
It is dark but I can feel her next to me. We continue our conversation in the void as I speak into her ear.
"OK, That makes a lot of sense but what is it?"
There's a brief silence as if she is thinking it over then, "It's your mobile imaging..."
I feel like the DC is breaking down to gibberish now but I continue anyway. "My mobile imaging?"
"...unfolded."
"My mobile imaging unfolded?"
She replies with a flat, "Yes."
I start to ask what she means but I want to remember this so bad. I repeat the phrase over in my mind. I have thoughts that I might forget the first parts of the dream and I unintentionally wake myself up.

The "background history" comment makes a lot of sense to me but the "mobile imaging unfolded" seems a little abstract. What I take from her response is that I sometimes get these bedside demonic entities from my radical evangelical religious background coupled with childhood fears. My subconscious mind merely manifests these things into being when I feel confused that my wife or some other person is in the room with me. Basically in short, It was just a figment of my imagination. Nothing more nothing less. Definitely not spiritual warfare.

Bedtime 10:30p – 8:30a

1) 1:45a Playing some sudoku like board game with Jess and Megan at our house. I walk into the living room and there are red Christmas lights everywhere. I continue the game on my phone like it was words with friends or something. I also think to play my old supervisor.

I move to recliner and begin attempting WILD. After each NLD I quickly record what I remember on my phone app and resume WILD.

2) 3:29a find myself in SP. I try something a little different to enter the dream. I force myself in a rush to get up out of the recliner. I feel my dream body stumble and fall and then I re-enter SP. This time I relax too much. I have a false awakening.

I have the laptop on my chest and the recliner feels like it is reclining way too far back. I am still trying to WILD. I ear the alarm clock distantly in the bedroom. I wonder how it is 6:00 already. I expect my wife to come looking for me and sure enough I hear her walk in the living room. I just lie still because I really don't want to ruin my WILD. I figure she will just see me asleep and leave. But the computer is on my chest and on. I think she will see a post by RareCola and read it.

Then, I hear her say. “You're going to kill yourself with that.”
I give up my charade. “What?” I look at her as she is going back to the bedroom.
“I said your going to kill yourself.”

I get up because originally I had planned to get up with her at 6 and stay up for 30min and then WILD.
I notice the recliner is turned wrong but when I go to move it there is another recliner in its place but it is a darker brown. The other recline shrinks and slides next the the strange one. I then walk into a strange kitchen. I wake up.

Another SP episode from DEILD. This time I know that I just need to visualize a dream scene and I will enter. For some reason I get too excite and SP fades.

3)4:38a I plant some sort of seed in the crack in the back deck. They are round and small but I don't know what it is. I water is. The water hose floods the area. Then I have another FA. I look next to me and see Janna sitting on the couch. She has marijuana seeds. She tells me she gave a seed to some kids and is worried they will get in trouble. I tell her they probably won't plant it. I go to use my phone app to record the planting dream and I realize “This isn't real”

I wake up briefly

4)I am now watching Johnny Bravo through my window on a TV in my neighbors yard. Then I FA and I am back in my recliner. I feel like I am holding a remote. But wake for real and see I am not.

5)4:42a I am in the recliner. I see Travis and tell him about the fake picture I sent him. He say, “Dude I don't know how those pictures of me get posted.” I explain to him that it was just a look alike with a tramp stamp. He changes the subject.

6)5:28a *LUCID*

For whatever reason I am driving with my wife and another guy was with us sitting in the back but he never says anything. We go down towards my job. It is late in the morning and I decide to just take vacation. I pull into the parking lot. And I tell my wife maybe I should just call it in instead of going in to ask for vacation. Then I notice the time on the car's clock. It is 8:38AM and I realize I can't ask for vacation after 8. So I decide just to use the call in line and not have a vacation day.

Suddenly we are inside in an office. My wife is at a desk typing on a computer. The guy is sitting several feet behind her watching the computer screen. He is behaving like a silent observer. Ignore him completely. I am on the floor putting my shoes on. As I am getting the last shoe on I remember to pay attention to my awareness like I do in RL. I think to myself, “I am dreaming.” But I didn't mean anything. Then it dawns on me. “I AM dreaming!”

I don't have my shoe on but I know it doesn't matter. I look around. I remember to stay calm. I try to focus on various office supplies on the desk. I see things like a coffee mug with pens and pencils in it. Then I look my my wife and see the guy in peripheral vision. I never really look at the guy. Maybe he will be my dream guide. Too bad I forgot to think of that. Anyway I know neither one matters and talking to them at this point would be a waste. They are just DCs.

I stand up and turn around. I see a door that is partially open. It is the only way out of the small room. I briefly remember that if I ever become lucid at work I would have fun with it and do the things I couldn't do in RL. I rush for the door and expect to see the production floor.

I open it and instead... The room I was in is at the end of a long hallway full of doors. Each door goes to a different office. "OK fine. Stay calm. Focus. You are dreaming. Keep awareness." I walk down the hallway and pop into random offices. The walls are wood paneled and with no decor. The doors are those cheap hollow wood doors. They are unpainted and stained a very dark brown. I don't notice the flooring. The color scheme is very bland and boring. All the offices are empty. There are no people anywere. "Ok strange but not that strange for a dream." I hear a phone ring once. I walk into an office room that I thought it came from. I see a desk with computer and a phone that is off the hook. There are a few papers scattered on the desk. I pick the phone up and put it to my ear. I hear nothing so I press zero. I hear a short ring and then, a young woman's voice answers, “Student services.” I think it's odd so I don't say anything. I press the hook with my finger to hang up. I don't hear a dial tone. So I just lay the phone back where it was. I can hear her voice but distantly, “Hello?” The sound of it is as you would expect for a phone away from your ear. I am a little impressed with my subconscious at how vivid the dream is.

I continue down the hall. Now I am looking at double glass doors. It looks really dark outside and I can't see anything beyond the glass. I want to break glass so I rush at it. I can hear my footsteps like I am wearing boots on concrete and I actually feel the impact of my feet on the floor. I note this is really cool for a dream.

I dive head first for the glass but it is soft and doesn't break. I feel my head got stuck. It feels like a wall of Jello. Of course, the natural reaction is to close your eyes. I feel the dream fading. I don't want to lose it so I back out. I re-stabilize myself by looking at the glass doors and focusing. “OK fine. I just want to leave here its boring.” I slowly push the doors with my right hand. There is no sensation and its like the glass is gone but then the door opens and I am looking at the next set of doors. I feel a little frustrated that glass doors are keeping me in this building. I almost feel trapped but I am determined. "Maybe dreams are like being a ghost in the movie Betelgeuse. You can never leave the building. No that's a stupid thought. This is my dream." I push the next doors slowly open.

Then I am immediately engulfed in darkness. I feel myself wanting to wake up. I begin rubbing my hands together. I can feel the friction and heat. It is almost painful. So I stop and clasp my hands together. I am still in the dark void and I think, "Maybe I am awake and I was really doing that with my hands. No, I don't believe it." Then I realize that I in darkness because I just have my dream eyes closed. I slowly open them but cautious not to open my waking eyes. For a moment I am confused because my eyes felt so real. "Am I opening my waking eyes?" So. I only open then halfway. I see that I am at the driver side door of a Grey truck. I decide its safe and I open my eyes fully now. I notice It's not very clear or vivid. The dream quality not as good as it should be. except for my sense of touch. I touch the glass of the door. Solid and feels real. I slap at it a little and am surprised that it sounded normal and I could feel the impact on my hands. Then for some reason I am abruptly jolted awake. I think I heard a noise in the house. It was storming.


7) 8:24a I am going with some people to a house I own. I am renovating and selling. I see a bunch of low class scummy people on the porch. I see a shirtless fat man. His checks hang down real low and he pushes his man boobs together. Somehow it all looks like a giant ball sack. I feel disgusted. I loudly tell someone I don't know how I will ever sale this house will all these kind of people around. I enter the house and the floors are still dusty from sanding the hardwood. There is a little girl there and I kindly ask her to go outside. I wake up.