Xanous' Dream Journal

#493 – DILD – 9:08AM

There is some preliminary dream about my wife looking very Asian. I am taken aback by this, but quickly have a false memory that this is how she is supposed to be. I have warm feelings of love and communicate this to her as I normally do in waking life.

Now it's a false awakening and I decide to just go ahead and sleep on the floor... or did I wake up there? I have the thought that the uncomfortable sleep should help me induce a lucid dream since I have been failing all morning. As I try to have a WILD, my wife starts talking and asking questions about what I am doing. Typical dream wife! I don't get too annoyed, but I do my best to ignore her. As I watch her groping hand over the edge the bed looking to make contact with me, I mumble something about trying to have a lucid dream.

Suddenly, I am overly worried about waking up on time for work. I know I must have set the alarm for 5am but I need to make sure. I get up and try to check the alarm clock on the dresser, but none of the buttons are working and the digits are distorted. There is a VCR next to the alarm clock that I take for granted, but the time is all zeros. Frustrated, I leave the bedroom looking for my cell phone, but quickly notice it's in my right pocket. I pull it out and hit the side button. The screen dimly lights up for just a second and then fades out. Then I finally get it! What if I am already in a dream? I do a quick half-assed nose plug and agree that this is indeed a lucid dream. At that point, the dream becomes dark and I nearly wake up, but I quickly stabilize by crawling and peering into the darkness – my usual bag of tricks. The dream quickly stabilizes and I stand back up.

I look around the dream environment and notice that I am in the first house I ever purchased back when I first started lucid dreaming. There is no irony here, just time distortion. Forgetting that, I become over-whelmed with euphoria that I am lucid dreaming and shout, “OH LUCID DREAMING! HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!” Then at a normal tone, “I did it. I really did it.” I notice a large, old-looking, child's book on the floor. I try to read it. I name off some random words that appear out of the alphabet soup swimming on the pages. I decide this random garbage isn't worth my time and throw the book away.

I decide to leave the house but find the back door is missing. I find this mildly curious, but I don't let it deter me as I swiftly move to the front. I pause at the other exit and think about the daylight and the grass I just saw outside the large pained window in the living room. I use expectation to enter that world and not the dark abyss that sometimes grips me when I transition areas. My efforts pan out, but I do notice the somber, overcast sky. The grass is looking really dry with a lot of brown patches.

I recall my dream goal to talk to an animal; I had a really funny dream about a talking rooster the night before and wanted to repeat some of that experience. This time a large white husky type dog comes running to me. He's so excited to see me. He dashes around me letting me pet him a little then runs circles around me. After a moment of play, I mentally tell him to talk and he quickly reminds me of the dog from the movie Up “OH my master. I am so happy to see you.” Something about this is disappointing and I decide to mimic the chicken from my other dream hoping to recapture the humor there. I say, “Cockadoodledoo maaannn.” Yes the chicken from my dream sounded like an old burned out hippie. The reply I get is total unexpected and that's what I love about my dreams. I hear an echoing answer from across the street, but it's no chicken that I can tell. How do chickens sound when they talk? Not like this, I suppose. Certainly not like the dream that had me laughing all day. No, the voice sounds like a little boy and I am curious to find it's owner. We play a quick game of Marco Polo, stoner rooster edition, and I am taken across a large yard to a barbed-wire fence. Because of the nature of dreams, I know this could turn into a tangled mess so I quickly decide to phase right through the wire. There is some fight, but I mange just fine. I sense the boy is calling to me from this old farm house that's now in my sights, but just before I reach it, the dream switches to black and I wake up. Damn the luck!

#482 - DEILD - 4:11AM

I have a false awakening where there is some sort of party going on in my bedroom with the guys from work. There's some issue with the Playstation and I have to sort it out. I am a little annoyed they were being so loud and woke me up but I manage to go back to sleep.

I wake slightly and move just a bit to get more comfortable and focus on DEILD. There are some very mild vibrations and I get too caught up in focusing on that causing my lucidity to dip a bit.As I wait, my wife rolls over closer and starts making out with me. I'm really enjoying this and wonder if she's woke up wanting to do it or if I am really just dreaming. Either way I don't care and just enjoy the moment. She starts talking about wanting sex and some other things that surprise me a little. I think this is probably a dream and while I ponder that I actually hear her begin to snore. I realize she can't possibly be making out with me and snoring at the same time and my full lucidity returns. Unfortunately my wife begins to toss and turn a bit and it totally wakes me up.

After she settles down, I try to DEILD again only to fail. I am in the living room painting a mural on the wall. I am working painting a man and I keep having trouble with the white beard. I manage to get it to look right, but when I look away to reload my brush, the different color have blended together too much. I step back to the whole picture and I notice different sections that don't go. The man is too small and standing in trees and on the other end someone has painted furniture. I give up and tell myself I'll have to just paint over the whole and start fresh later. I decide to go back to bed for now and when I lay down thinking about all of this, I realize it's a dream.

It's really dark now and my wife is talking a bunch of nonsense. It's so distracting that I can't even think. I shout, "SHUT UP!" Shocked at my out burst I wait for her to retaliate, but she is now silent. I chuckle a bit and wonder if I said that in my sleep because it sounded so loud and clear. I shout out again wondering if maybe I really am awake. I do a nose plug and blow through so I get up, but it all feels to real. I fall back into bed and then decide to just go for it. I get up and move out of the bed room in the total darkness. I shout, "HEY DREAM!" and then fall into an abyss. I enjoy the sensation of falling for a few seconds and then hit the floor. I realize I am back in the bedroom. It's still too dark, but I can see that much. I recall the make out session from earlier and find my wife. I'll spare the details, but I decided to have raunchy sex with my wife. It's a pretty lengthy segment for a lucid dream. Some how we move around the room this is all happening and end up in the bathroom. I notice the woman has shifted from looking like my wife to looking like some other woman. I really just want my wife, but realize this is the nature of dreams.

I stand up in the bathroom and notice is nearly totally dark again. I recall a trick I was told about and blind summon a light from my pocket. I get some light when I flick it, but see some hideous monster with giant eyes looking at me. I put away the lighter and blindly punch at the creature as I move back into the bedroom. I quickly decide to forget I saw that and just wondering into the dining room. I try light switches and even find a huge breaker box. I flip all the switches, but I still can't see. I'm starting to get annoyed now and desperately look for any light source. I notice the fridge is open a bit and light is spilling out of it. I open and study the food items but they all look oddly distorted. I go back into the dining room and see a super bright light coming from a bowl on the table. It's too bright to look at, but only dimly lights the room. I get on the floor and study the wood grain for a bit to stabilize. Now the kitchen light is all the way on so I rush to it. When I get there the room distorts and morphs and the dream fades.

I find myself back in bed looking at my phone. I have a snapchat text open. It's mostly non letter characters, but there is one sentence. "Fell a distance of ooooooohhhhh". I laugh decide it's a log of what happened to me during the earlier part of my dream. I scroll down but the phone zooms into much to see it all and bar of black makes it hard to see. I notice I scrolled past the word "sex", but can't seem to find it again. I've been taking screenshots of all of this hoping that somehow it will be on my phone when I wake up, but I know deep down it wont. Too bad.

Now my daughters come in the room and for some reason this is so distracting that I loose all lucidity. They have swollen sores on there legs and my wife says it has to be bed bugs bites. Somehow I doubt it, but I get up and doctor their wounds anyway. After I do that my wife gets ready to leave and says she needs to take them someplace and she will be right back. I'm confused, but just say, "Ok." Then my son wakes up and runs into the room crying for her. I say, "Oh look. Mohinder woke up." That's not even close to his actual name, but in the dream I don't even find this odd. I have to hold him so my wife can leave out the front door. It's at this point that I wake up.

#467 - DILD - 2:25AM

I am standing before a group of celebrities in something resembling Hollywood Squares TV show. I am asking them to volunteer to star in my movie, but I am being super secretive about the movie and they are all skeptical. Brad Pitt seems the most interested and I walk up some stairs to meet him and talk. As Brad Pitt is talking there is some visual where I use a scalpel to cut the outline of his face out of the dream reality. I hand Brad Pitt some cash for being interested and he hands me double the amount. I tell him that I said I would pay, but he says he doesn't need the money and wants to donate to my movie. I accept the money. We have some more conversation.

I am now in a crappy theater with old black and white movie sections. The screen is like a touch screen waiting for me to make a section. Behind me is a pathetic group of people in small bleachers. I asked there were the newer movies are but no one seems to know. My daughter is with me and she is just as annoyed as I am.

I am now opening some strange store or shop with my wife. I notice the dream scene has changed and I become lucid. I know I am dreaming, but I am still caught up in the scenario. I go through our routine and turn on an check lots of machines. I am trying really hard to remember what I am supposed to do. I worry about waking up and think I will find an object to use to stabilize. I lose most of my visuals and have to concentrate to get the dream back.

The dream comes back, but I think that I have to start the dream over to get my lucidity back. I walk around trying to stabilize, but nothing seems to work. I decide I need to WILD to get things going again. I tell my wife to keep doing what she is doing and I will be right back. I close my eyes and fall backwards. There is fear of hitting the floor and some strong falling sensation, but I trust that it won't hurt. I concentrate then open my eyes.

I am now at a higher level of lucidity, but not by much. I stand up and continue whatever I was doing before. A lot of random flipping of switches and whatnot. I find a clip board and remember a survey I never completed in waking life. For some reason I feel the need to do this in a dream. I write my name and date and then look over questions. I realize I can't see shit and am happy that its mostly filled out. I see a large blank spot and, for fun, decide to write "I am dreaming." I write slowly and deliberately forcing the letters to form and be stable. I get mostly done when my wife comes next to me and hits my writing arm. I am slightly annoy and say, "Babe. Don't do that." I wake up realize my wife is actually touching my arm.

#465 - 4:12AM - DILD

I have a long dream segment where I am at some version of my first job ever; Long John Silver's. I am revisiting as my current self and watching the manager cook. I join in and fry some fish.

Now I am riding in a car. I see a Sonic restaurant that is totally black with huge billows of smoke coming from it. I watch as we get closer and I can hear some theatrical and dangerous-sounding-music. Suddenly, the scene dims for just a fraction of a second. Then, I hear a short fart (lol) and some happy sounding music as I find myself riding in the same car, but in a very normal looking neighborhood. I notice the Sonic building is completely gone, and because of this, I instantly become lucid. I look at the driver and see my wife. I tell her how weird that glitch was and how this is all a dream. She keeps her eyes on the road with both hands on the wheel and only smiles in reply.
I continue, " So we can fly. Go. Fly us away."
The car lifts up into the air, but I lose visuals at this point and find myself floating in a bardo. I recognize this for what it is and try to stimulate some feeling by making swimming motions. After a few seconds, I begin to feel like the air is thickening into water. I see something... some movement. An animated electric blue outline of a shark emerges from the darkness and opens its jaws. It all looks very psychedelic so there is no fear. Instead of moving away, I pretend to be the bigger fish and open wide ready to bite. I wake up before we collide.

#456- DILD - 4:49AM

Hell. Why not? A lucid is a lucid. I have had vivid dreams all week and last night was no exception, but I'll be very brief.

I had a very long dream segment were an alien shape-shifting life form wanted to have sex with me and promised to be any woman I so desired. I visualized several very sexy women and the alien obliged me, but I ended just wanting to just be with my wife. I then had two false awakenings were I was trying to "get it" with my wife, but all sorts of crazy things kept interrupting us. I eventually had to go to work and while I was staring at a blueprint, trying to solve a problem with a cable, I became very introspective and suddenly got lucid. The dream instantly began to fade and I spent a couple fuitless moments in the bardo trying to salvage the dream.

#455 - DILD - 1:12AM

I am on a haunted pirate ship and become lucid. I try to sink the ship by biting sections of it, but eventually find the remainder of a dead body. My wife helps me take the body out as I find the teeth in my mouth. I spit them out and wake up.

I am trying to ship from some type of pirate ship. I have an encounter with a ghost that doesn't seem too scary, but then another ghastly one pops out of a wall and scares me. I jump back and find myself on the shore. I see P from work and I say something about only being able to take that in small doses. My heart is racing and take a moment to calm down. I notice that I am holding book and must have had my head in there. I actually enjoyed having such a vivid fright now that it's over.

I walk down a long deck and get back on the pirate ship. I need to find the source of the haunting so all of this will stop. I think maybe I should sink the ship, but as I am walking around the deck I realize that I must be dreaming. The dream almost fades here, but I focus visually on the ocean and the dock below. Everything becomes much more vivid and I continue on my way.

I wonder around many areas of the ship still caught up in the plot and trying to find a way to end the haunting. I see a section of piping coming out of a wall and wonder if I could just eat the ship apart. I bite the piping several times, but only feel as though me teeth pass through and clamp down on nothing. I give up and wonder to the aft of the ship.

My lucidity slips and I somehow find myself standing outside the ship and I open it like a car trunk. Water spills out along with bags of human remains. There is blood and gore mixed in and I decide that if we free this poor person the haunting will stop. My randomly shows up and helps me out. As some point I stop because I somehow get the corpse's teeth in my mouth. I spit them out with gooey blood into the water. I'm in shock as I watch the teeth float with globs of blood as I start to wake up.

Another super long dream about a boy meeting with Godzilla, but the police want to control the meeting. I help the boy try to avoid the police as Godzilla comes on a train. There is a confusing run from the cops and the boy gets away, but I am caught. I sit in a chair surrounded by some tough looking guys. They tell me this is my life now and I accept it.

My wife wants to buy a house, but we have some agreement to stay a night before we decide. The more I look my more ridiculous things I find wrong with the house. I make the decide not to buy the house and my wife is very upset. I tell her that I might be able to over look a few things if it wasn't in town. I push the point that we need to actually sell our house first.

Just a quick post to record a LD I had a few nights ago...

I am with old friend Carrie at her house. There are streams running from room to room and we are riding inner tubes. We are having some conversation, but get interrupted by a phone call. As she talks I look around and notice that we are flowing out the front door into a river. I look around then up. I see the day time moon with a shining set of rings around it. The rings start rotating around and I recognize this dream sign (odd things in the sky) and I know that I am dreaming.

I notice that my wife is now with us on her own inner tube. Being lucid I think that I should do something with this dream so I stand up in the water and try to think. While I stand there my wife goes into the water and starts sucking my finger. I pull my hand away and then put it back. She starts sucking again and I absentmindedly feel around in her mouth. I am so shocked that I don't even know what to do with this dream. I just stand there unable to think with my finger in her mouth until I wake up.

#438 - DILD - 2:17AM

Total day residue...

I am in some sort of sport medicine clinic like an expo or something. Some really old woman is trying to check out my legs. I have some sort of bandage wrap and there is pressure put on my some machine. The woman keeps hacking and coughing and seems to feel really ill. Another, younger woman comes to take over. I am put in different positions on a table. I feel super sleepy. Several nurses flirt with me and I feel awesome about that. One nurse says that my spine is fractured and I need a prescription for it. She tells me that her husband takes a lot of vitamin A and that helps his back. I overhear another nurse going on about how cute I am. I feel embarrassed, but flattered. I leave.

I am somehow mildly lucid now. I have left the expo, but I'm still in the same building. A Star Wars scenario is playing out and I get swept up in the storyline. I am running with Han Solo and the Imperial forces are attacking. The building rumbles and quakes from that attack. The walls crack and parts of ceiling falls. I am at a stair well and I can't decide if I want to go up or down. I tell Han Solo that up is for high command. Down would take us out. Han runs up and I stay not sure what to do. I see a door that says Summit Meeting. I decide to run down.

In a new hallway, a lady that I know from waking life is standing there telling everyone to get out. She's pointing down the hall. She doesn't seem too worried with that huge grin on her face. I run down the hallway and enter a large section of the building. It seems like a movie studio. There is stripes on walls and large numbers by doors. I see a large 8. A fat man in a rebel uniform runs past with a droid and a civilian.



He says how this solar system sucks [Earth's solar system]. I say, "Yeah it sucks, but not Earth. I love Earth. It's my home." I see a cheap revolver on the floor and pick it up.

I continue running down another hallway. I have someone running with me that I don't really look at much. We make it outside into the night and my lucidity level jumps considerably. I see a Stormtrooper in the ground flipping around and spazzing out like some horrible video game glitch. I hear someone say to shoot him as a mercy. I fire a shot to his head and run away. I consider how my gun seems to be silenced. There are other Stormtroopers shooting at us. The guy with me picks up a Star Trek phaser off the ground and starts shooting stormtroopers.



I see red laser bolts taking down Stormtroopers. I say, "Pretty." I shoot at some more stormtroopers. My gun just click like dry fire, but I see them fall so I don't care. Since this is a dream, it's like I'm just pretending away. However, I can't get over the fact my gun feels like a plastic toy.



Rebels and Stormtroopers are dying all around me as I run. I am in a residential area with house and a gas station. Everything is less Star Wars like now. There is sort of military style off-road vehicle in a driveway.



I hop in and punch it in reverse. I notice the ceiling is way too low but I try to ignore it. My friend is not with me anymore and for some reason I feel the need to find him so we can both escape. I drive around a bit, but the ceiling is bothering me too much. I realize I can easily fix that, so I push up on it until it stretches out to a comfortable height. I spot my buddy on a storage container with Doc from Back To The Future. I tell them to get in but my friend is now a picture in a frame. I stretch my arm out super long, grab the picture, and put it in the seat next to me. Doc says something about how I have to leave him. I back out, push a button, and pretend I'm in a helicopter. The vehicle hovers some, but I can't get much height. I start looking in the distance, but there is only dark void beyond the few houses around me. I sit idle unsure what to do next. I think it would be cool if Doc got killed somehow. As soon as I think that, I hear a missile swoosh past me and Doc goes up in a fireball. Nice! I wonder if I should try flying into the void or if I should just wake up so I can write all this down. I sit idle for a few moments longer and decide to just open my eyes.

Non Lucid
Earlier in the night I dreamed I was lying in bed next to my wife outside in the woods. I see some sort of have chicken half dinosaur eating deer. I hear a generic slurping sound from the dino. I get out my phone and take video. As I watch I worry that the dino will see us. I stay as still as possible, but it notices and leaps toward us. I shout at my wife to run, but she wont wake up. I feel panicked. I look up and see the dinosaurs giant gray chicken foot come down on me. Then nothing but gray void.

I am now... under the bed? Underground? My wife now looks different. She's ready to go kill the dino. She puts up her hair super fast and I hear some cheesy winding sound. I laugh. Her hair detached and she puts it on over her other hair like a large hat. She kisses me and her nose feels extra long. I hold her and we make out a bit. She says shes ready to go, but I stop her and say we have to do something first. I pull her yoga pants down and have sex with her. Things get intense and I wake up.

#425 - DILD - 7:14AM

After the last LD I try meditating again, but fall asleep.

I am in some restaurant and there is food and trash all over the carpet. Someone tells me to get in uniform and help clean. I take a snapchat of the mess. I am in uniform and I walk into another part to see how I can help, but I see things are mostly managed now. I pass what I think is a manager. I try covering the company emblem on my shirt as I pass. I feel stupid for putting the uniform on and wish I could change.

I realize that I am on a cruise ship and I look for my sister Angie who is always going on cruises. I step outside on to the deck and look around. The ship is massive and looks like a small town. I see the water beyond and get vertigo as I realize were actually moving. I say to my wife, "You really do forget that you're on a boat." We all move toward the very tip of the bow and watch the water. We are coming into a bay area with high cliffs. There is what looks like a hill in the water and is mostly wet sand. We somehow power up it and I see water trying to flood the stern. As we level out, I see everyone has come outside. They all start cheering and clapping. The ship starts to dock, but bumps into something. I think of the Titanic and worry. A jet of water pushes the ship sideways and a voice says something about trying again. Then, I see a large rusted steel bar in front of the ship. Something like a dinosaur neck and head extends from someplace behind me. It latches on the bar and chews on it. It acts to stabilize and dock the ship. A voice says something about the dinosaur sharpening it's teeth this way, but it leaves a black residue. The dino turns and shows us its grayish, nubby teeth.

I am now laying on the floor next to some other guys in football uniforms paired with cheerleaders in wedding dresses in a pattern. The rest of the team comes in and wonders what's going on. This is a pep rally and we got roped into being apart of the performance. Music starts and we all get up and start some synchronized dancing. Of course, me and half the others have no idea what we are doing and do our best to keep up. The lyrics say, "Dance with me. Dance with me." So me and another cheerleader who looks a lot like Anna Kendrick start slow dancing. I am overly aware of the feel of her close to me, one arm around her waist, and her hand in my other. We are both feeling awkward and stop dancing. We laugh and both admit that we had no idea what we were doing. The song stops and we turn and sit close to each other on the floor. I am glad she stayed next to me. My old high school buddy Jason his on stage with a band. He's saying stuff to get the crowd excited and is generally acting way out of character. I start thinking about how dumb I felt during the dancing and wonder how I even got myself in this situation. I think something about the next time I am in a dream... Wait this IS a dream! I am a little unsure about this thought at first, but it only takes a millisecond to realize it's true. The dream starts crashing so I do the only thing I could think of to stabilize. I turn to the very hot Anna Kendrick look-a-like and resume dancing with her. Of course, this time I am much more confident and our dancing becomes dirty and we grind while I feel her up. This soon turns into sex and the hottie turns into my ex-wife. I lose my arousal and wonder, WHY? OH GOD WHY? I then realize it's a part of my past and just a memory. I appreciate it for what it is and the good times we once had. I let the scene play it self out without taking control or making decisions. I wake up.

#412 - DILD - 6:35AM

I am walking up a hill with my younger daughter and son. For some reason I am going to some apartments to take a swim. I tell myself that if I am going to live here, I need to figure out how to park on the other side so I don't have to walk so far all the time. Some triggers semi-lucidity and the walk up the hill feels hard and slow. I realize that this is all a mental thing and tell myself to just pretend that it's all super easy and it will be. It works for a second and gets difficult again at the last few steps.

I am inside the apartment but it all looks really odd. I feel this is normal for a dream so I let it go and try to ignore it. I have my son in my arms and for some reason think I need to put him down for a nap. There is a door way that I think leads to his bedroom, but when I open it, it is just a broom closet. I know this is all pointless so I unceremoniously toss my son into the darkest part of the closet and walk way. I feel a mental tug to do it right, but I don't want to get caught up in mundane tasks in a dream. I am still really caught up in going swimming so I try to find the back door. As I make my way outside, I pass though some tiny kitchen that I recognize to look like a small version of the duplex I used to live in.

Outside, my lucidity raises as I look around for a pool. I see an above ground pool to the right, but quickly reject that. I look to the left and see my younger daughter jumping into a large in-ground pool. Excited, I run and jump and yell, "JEEEERRRONIMOOOOO!", as I belly flop into the pool. As I make impact I worry that my vision will get distorted and I end up in the void. Of course, this thought manifests as I see a blur of blue and air bubbles and the dream fades.

The lights come on and I wake up with my son in the bed with me and my wife. He's crying and some liquid has pooled up all over the sheets. Not sure if he peed out of his diaper, I ask, "Why is everything so wet?"
My wife just says, "He's been crying." I realize that there is no way a kid can tear up that much and remember that I was just now dreaming that I was swimming. The lights do out and I roll over and make swimming motions in the dark until I reach my wife. I start kissing her and decide maybe some sexy-time would be nice. The light returns and my wife stops me. She asks, "Right now? [in front of R?]
I tell her that it doesn't matter [in a dream]. We continue to enjoy each other, but I wake up before we get very far.

#411 - DEILD - 5:13AM

4AM WBTB, Galantamine/choline with peppermint tea.

I wake slightly realizing I lost focus. For some reason I was pretty wired at WBTB and had a hard time getting settled. I don't recall dreaming, but focus on DEILD. I feet a familiar shift in my body almost on command and exit pretty quickly. For some reason I head to the bathroom to find a something like a really tall crypt keeper coming at me trying to bite my face.



I reflexively put a protective arm over myself and push away with the other. The room lights up and now I think of it more like a zombie. Fear starts to creep in but I remind myself that it's just my dream and the fear goes away. I remember how easy zombies are to kill in The Walking Dead so, I grab the thing with both hands and smash it's face into the mirror over the sink. I am shocked when I see neither one of us have a reflection. There was a definite face impact on something but it seems more like a window than a mirror. I look loser for a reflection and find two alternate versions of myself. On has a curly white-boy-fro and is standing in the door way. The other has long straight hair and is smiling at something in to the right that I can't see. I remember the Crypt Keeper and get back to mashing it's face into the mirror again. This time I really hope for a reflection and I see it now and, even though my reflection is absent, I am satisfied. I smash the thing one more time and see it's jaw drop away. I figure that has to be good enough and I have a strong desire to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

I wander into the kitchen and find the rest of the house is way too dark. I try a light switch with no luck. I try snapping my fingers but I get a weird visual of my hands flapping around really fast in the darkness. I feel really rushed and worried that I am taking up too much time messing with stuff, but I remember Dreamers' time technique and calm myself. I have all the time in the world. I decide to just go outside now, but I'm still stuck on the idea of making light. I snap my fingers, but it just feels really weird. I try making a fire on my finger but nothing happens. I find myself at the door but when I try to open it, it's locked. I fumble with the deadbolt with little success until I remember how ridiculous it is to be worried about all that in a dream. I pull the door extra hard and there is a jolt and a pop like something broke and the doors opens.

When I get to the porch I begin to float. It's a dull, grey, overcast day and the air feels extra cool. There is some silver colored van parked in my yard. I notice the tail lights are lit up so I decide to go investigate but my I can't seem to make myself float over. About the time I start struggling the van drives ways. Yell out at the driver as I return to the ground to run after it, but it's long gone now and I don't care enough to pursue. In the street, I see it's made of gravel rather than asphalt. I find this mildly interesting but mostly ignore it. I start to feel rushed again, but remind myself that there is plenty of time and not to worry about it. It helps some, but I know the dream time is limited and there's stuff I want to do.

There is another car stopping in the street and I recall one goal. I want to see how far I can stretch my arms to grab something. I reach out at the car and my arms stretch out and snake around until I can feel something. It I may have reached about 20 feet out and grabbed the edge of the wheel well. It's an odd sensation and as I am experiencing this I ear a woman's voice close in my left ear. I reflexively forget about my arms and the car and spin around to see who's talking to me. To my surprise, I see no one.

I walk down the street looking for the woman with out luck. While I'm doing this, I recall other goals. I think of the Pegasus TOTY but I feel like this dream world is really unstable. In fact, it feels really taxing trying to hold it all together. I recall another task, to see how running feels now that I have started to do so in waking life. I turn to start, but I see a woman walking across the street. She must be the one so I head over to her. I talk to her but my words feel jumbled and her reply makes no sense. I struggle to talk clearer, but about that time the dream fades into a dull white color.

I open my eyes facing my wife's side of the bed. I see she has her cell phone on and the light from it must have woke me up. She has her phone partly under the cover like she is trying not to disturb me, but it's still really bright. I ask, "What are you doing?"
She tells me, "Just... this."
I think shes just being rude and I become really pissed off that she woke me out of a lucid dream. In a huff, I roll over to my other side jerking the covers and say in a loud whinny voice, "You woke me up! What the hell?"
Then I realize something feels off. The sensation of rolling over was very dull and numb. This is a familiar effect of my dream body. Happy again I say, "I'm not awake!" I roll back over but end up on top of my wife. She has put her phone away, but for some reason I ask, "What was that anyway?"
She replies, "I'll show you... hold on."
Before I say or do anything else stupid, I go ahead and do a quick nose plug to make sure I am really dreaming. I feels redundant, but I enjoy the confirmation. Now I say, "You're not real."
Then, my wife's face morphs into the Crypt Keeper from earlier and I bail. It's not that I am afraid, but I really don't want to deal with that nasty thing again.

I recall my running task again as I head back to the front door. I start running while singing, "Run run run baaaby." When I get to the door, I wake up. This time for real.

#410 - DEILD - 4:08AM

WBTB @ 3AM. Caffeine from coffee.

I wake slightly surprised that I can recall no dreams. I lay still and focus my attention a few inches from the crown of my head. Vibrations quickly start and it's not long until I feel my dream body float up from my physical body. There is a moment where I can feel both simultaneously and this causes an in-and-out-feel or 'bouncing' effect of my dream body. I shift my focus to walking and make my way to the living room. I am blind, but I feel like I just have my eyes close so I slowly and cautiously open them, worried that I will open my physical eyes and wake up. Luckily, this clears up the dream with no other effect. As I walk to the front door, I have a strange feeling like I am half crouched or hunched over and my eyes feel like they are trying to roll into the back of my head. I correct this by straightening up and trying to look more downward.

Outside, I see a full moon and the yard is only lit by it's dim light. There's are a few scattered stars and I recall one of my goals to meditate on one with the intention of travel. As I look up my eyes go out of focus and the feeling of them rolling into the back of my head returns. Then, there is some visual distortion like my physical eyes have opened slightly. I make a poor attempt to correct this not really knowing how and I wake slightly again.

I DEILD the same way as before, but this time when I reach the living room I enter a true void. Usually I have some phsycial sensation during these 'void' experiences, but this time I feel truely cut off from everything; no sight, no sound, no touch. I don't even feel like I have a body. Instead of fighting against it, I decide to relax and enjoy whatever I am given. I then regain some sensational and feel as if I am slowly floating around a space. I then begin to roll and I see a light on each rotation through closed eye lids. I had no sense of time and wondered if there was light coming from my bedroom window. Maybe it's later in the morning. I begin to wonder if I am going to roll on top of my wife. I think about this and decide to have dream sex with her. I kiss her, but the feeling quickly slips away.

I am fooled momentarily by a false awakening. I open my eyes and find that I have in fact rolled on top of my wife except I have my butt in her face. I feel embarrassed and we both laugh. I quickly get back on my side of the bed and try to focus again to DEILD. I have a vivid image of my wife laughing, but her teeth look very brown and decayed like some meth-head's.



I am repulsed by this, but quickly realize this is a dream. I say to myself, "You are still asleep!" I know this is true, but I feel as if I still need to continue with the DEILD. The same as before happens, but this time I enter into a vivid dream (I was already there).

There is a mirror on covering one whole wall in the bedroom and I hear a song from an acoustic guitar. The music sound generic and unoriginal yet familiar. My reflection has a giant wrench in his hands and is singing into it while bobbing up and down.

Like this guy.



I feel disconnected from it for a second, but quickly we merge as I sing. I have that awkward moment where I am not sure if I am singing in my sleep or not, but I do my best to ignore it. The lyrics just come to me without much thought, "I've got some issues. Yeah some issues. I've got some issues. Yes I do." Then I use the wrench to play guitar with then into my crotch as I use it to do some pelvic thrusts. I turn to the mirror on my wife's closet door and dance a little in front of that. I go out of the room and the song changes, "I'm gonna make great love...great love...yeah great great love. I've got some issues yeah some issues but I'm gonna make great great great love." I recall another goal that involves a dub-step song to try to induce a Star Wars battle. I sing loudly, "Destroy them with lasers!" Unfortunately, the music doesn't change. I say out loud, "Oh ok. I guess we're gonna keep going with this then." I start to sing some more, but the dream quickly fades and I wake up.

#394 - DILD - 5:55AM

I am walking in the street with someone. We watch a strange looking UFO fly down and hover over someone. Then, in a flash of light, they disappear. I say to the person how amazing this is. I just can't believe I witnessed a UFO abduction right in the middle of downtown. I notice how everything turned from night to daytime really quickly and I feel like I am missing something important. My thought is interrupted by someone ushering me into a building. [Something] happens inside and then we are ushered out. When I turn around, the building dissolves into my old house; the first one I bought with my ex-wife. Someone tells me everything (the UFO abduction and building) was just holograms an illusions. I laugh that I got punked so hard and watch the next person get it. Things happen differently this time and the 'abductee' walks down the street toward the building. I follow closely behind the hologram and laugh with my 'friend' as I watch my hand pass into it. It's like a ghost but the more I play with it the more solid it becomes. I think maybe the hologram passed over an actual person. I only recall random and fleeting images next (sexy time with wife?), but I somehow end up in that old house talking to my wife.

I wonder why we decided to buy this house. I really don't want to live here after-all. Then I quickly recall that I have had this exact dream before. As I nose plug, my wife is telling me something. I am not listing because I am trying to make sense of why I feel like I am slightly blowing through. Am I really dreaming? I do several more nose plugs, but the last one is more deliberate and I blow cleanly through. I am dreaming! I don't want to be here at all so I immediately leave my wife and head out the back door. As I cross the yard, I feel guilty for just running off. I wonder if there is something important there that I should resolve. I pull myself over a privacy fence and, for fun, climb a tree. I see my old neighbors house and try peaking in the window. I wonder if they would recognize me if they saw me. Ridiculous. I ponder the house issue while up there. I admit that I did enjoy some memories living in that house and I do miss it in a way. I decide to climb down and resolve this. There is a long winding limb the leads down to the trunk of the tree and I enjoy extra upper arm strength as I move along it like a monkey. I jump down and float toward the street in the front. Someone is growing beans along the road and I have to step over them. I find this curious, but decide to ignore it.

I get down the street and see the house. It now looks like every window has been removed. I can see bare 2X4s and insulation around the edges. I feel like there is some meaning here, but I can't imagine what it is. I enter the house, determined to play this dream out. I act like I am considering buying this house a second time. I begin looking things over, forgetting about the windows already. I notice the laminate wood flooring is still there and looks really nice. I move down the hall and see my wife and son. I pass them and enter the front bathroom. In waking life, I installed ceramic tile over concrete slab, but here there is several layers of linoleum over plywood. I can see a lot of water damage around the bathtub as I peel the edges back. In fact, the wood feels soft and moist even now. My son gets in the way of what I am doing and I have to move him out of the way. I stop and ponder things now. I decide this house really isn't so great after-all and the emotions I get from it feel resolved. It's time to let this place go. Feeling like I accomplished something, I get up and head outside while my wife and son follow behind. I feel like I have been dreaming a really long time now, and consider waking myself up so I won't forget things. I really think I could wake up at will, but it's been a long time since I have had a nice long lucid so I decide to leave it alone for now.

I see our Nissan down the street and tell my wife that I will race her. I hope she agrees because I know that I am still dreaming and I will impress her with my ability to teleport. She nods and I let it happen. There is a surging streak of light and color and I find myself sitting in the car. Unfortunately, it's not a complete teleport because, I can see two realities. Yes, I am sitting in the car but I can also see the place that I was standing layered over. I look over at my wife standing next to me and this brings me completely back to start. I stand up, feeling a little embarrassed. As we resume walking to the car, I tell her how I almost teleported and ask her what it all that looked like to her.
She just says, "It looked really weird."
I nod and say, "I bet it did. I was really there for a second."

Now, at the car, I get caught up with trying to manually put my son in his car seat. None of the straps and buckles are working right and I spend a lot of time fumbling with things. My wife is trying to help me, but it's just not working right. The dream destabilizes and I decide it's fine to go ahead and wake up now.

I have been focusing on MILD

Fragments. Once I woke up thinking I had been lucid but had no recall. The second time I hear someone that I thought of as Wurlman say the words, "lucid dreaming" I woke with start. I can't remember any other details.


#1 There was a party with a bunch of teens. Something about it ending but the guys wanted to go longer. We though of ways to keep it going but someone drank the last beer. They said "Last of the alcohol" and threw the bottle in the fireplace.

I saw my wife who wasn't my wife just a girl I liked. I wanted to makes sue she didn't go home with some jerk so I offered to give her a ride.

#2 I am on some train ride roller coaster thing in some tunnels. I remember the old dream from a few days ago and am confused why we went a different route. The train soon dissolves and I am walking in some strange maze like building. I think of mini golf. There's something about a window unit.

I find myself standing outside the window unit. I make an adjustment and turn around. There are two guy that look really thugish. They also look like my wife's sisters husband but they have long hair and red bandannas. They look Mexican but also may like Native Americans. I think they must be his brothers. They have the same eyes. There's a third guy and we all talk about something.

# 3 I am playing some game at work with a bunch of people sitting at a table. My wife is one of them. I roll dice and take as many steps. I continue until I get to the smoker shack that now looks like a brick building from downtown with several stories. I go back to the table and realize I left my son in the building. I worry how long it has been. I run back thinking about how many times I must have rolled dice to get there. I worry that I skipped everyones turn. I find my son in some room buried in cloth. I feel him and pull him out and cuddle him. My wife is with me and I feel really bad. Some young woman drives up in car (I guess I am outside now?) and tries telling me something but Ignore her. I look at my son and he is a newborn again. The woman coos at him.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid


I am back baby! I was SO happy to hit these couple lucids. I was planning to WILD but I was having trouble staying focused so I went with MILD and mantra, "I am dreaming. I always become lucid when I am dreaming."

#192 - 4:48AM - MILD - 1 of 2

I am at Wal-Mart with my wife and kids. There is some woman selling raffle tickets in the front entrance area. I am not sure if she works there or just some solicitor. I walk up, take the tickets from here and begin playing with them. She says her name is something Page. I recognize that last name as a friend and ex of mine. I say, "Oh you know her then?"
She answers, "I am her cousin. You know she's had 10 fiancés?"
I am shocked. "Really 10?" I glance over at my wife nervously. I think that I was one of them but somehow think this was not right. (It wasn't IWL). I go on, "I mean, I didn't think she was like that and I really doubt that's true. But that's really funny you said that." I walk off.

I am in the parking lot with with my wife and kids now. I see my breath like it is cold but it turns into thick smoke. I am amused and blow out hard. I see a long jet of white thick smoke. I think, It's like dragon smoke. I wonder if I am dreaming. Before I can really test this I see my 11 year old run blindly out into the parking lot at top speed. I worry that a car will hit her and I yell out her name. She stops, looks at me, and begins running back in the same manner. I start to tell her to just stop when I suddenly wake up.

I had another long dream segment but forgot most of if prior to getting lucid

I am a parking lot getting in a car. There is some African American woman about to shut the door on me when I turn to look at her I see the same dragon smoke coming from my breath. I recognize it instantly and become lucid. I stand up and the car and woman are gone. It looks like some familiar residential alleyway that I am standing in. The dream already feels unstable so I begin rubbing my hands. My mind feels foggy and I try to gather what I wanted to do. Then I remember that I had been lucid before this part but must have lost it. I don't focus on it too much but I get a clear memory of lucidly running with a woman looking for a silver sports car. I spot it and run to it.

I let the memory go for now. I am pacing and rubbing my hands still thinking. I suddenly remember that I wanted to go to the crystal cave. I see the back of someones shed and I decide to phase teleport. The dream goes black before I get to it. I don't mind. I just focus on visualizing the cave and the crystal walls. I vividly imagine the feel of it with my right hand.

Suddenly I am lying in bed. I think, DEILD and relax. I get very mild vibrations and a strange loud humming sound that somehow reminds me of crystal. I don't do anything that feels physical but rather I visualize myself getting up. My vision is a little dim but not a problem.

I push on a wall to try to phase teleport again but its as solid as brick so I continue to the mirror on the closet door. It's just as solid and I begin to beat on it repeatedly with both fist at an inhuman rate. The sound of it is so loud and that point I begin to wake up. The sound of me beating on the mirror slowly morphs into the sound of the box fan. I am awake.