Neongirl4ever

This is my first entry in the Journal, so bare with me.

I am standing in front of my boyfriend Randy looking up at him telling him its our 5 year anniversary today. Im not really sure where we are but I know we are outside. He then looked down at me and said "ive been with 4 other women over the course of 5 years". At first I didn't understand what he had told me. I was confused. Then a sudden rush of emotion came over me. I started screaming at him. Screaming so hard in my dream that in real life i can feel all the muscles in my body tense up. My heart is beating fast and im breathing heavily. I dont wake up yet. Im screaming at him with tears in my eyes asking him why he would do this to me. Randy shows no emotion. Just staring at me. Then says "didn't think you would mind". I then repeated his sentence as a question. "I cant believe you would do this to me". I then wake up. Not being able to breath. My chest hurts. My body feels stiff. I quickly fall right back asleep into the same dream. This time I'm inside a building where it seems we are having a party for me and Randys Anniversary. My immediate family is there. I sit down at a table next to my mom. She is very happy. Smiling at me she talks about the food thats being served at the party. She got up from the table to get more food and comes back with a boiled egg. I remember staring at the egg as she ate it. And she said " I just had to have an egg". She then turns into Randy. My mom is now behind me standing over me. She hands Randy a gift. Wrapped in blue and red wrapping paper with a musical card attached. She opens the card. A song starts to play but he quickly shuts it like he is embarrassed that it plays a song. I cant remember the song now but I did recognize it in the dream. He then hands it to me. I open the card and say "you might as well let it play". I read the card, though i cant remember what it said now but I do remember it was addressed from my dad. I started to cry and handed the gift back to Randy. Which he then turned back into my mom. Mom kept smiling at me even though I was crying. I then woke up with sadness. I rolled over in bed to see Randy in deep sleep next to me. A feeling came over me of great anger towards him. I almost felt like I couldn't tell if this was reality or a dream again. I didn't know if what he told me in my dream was real or not. Did he really do that or was that in my dream. I got up and went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Came back and went to bed.

Had another dream soon after I closed my eyes.

I was floating above my parents house. I could see that the roof needed repair. The shingles where half missing and there is a huge hole in the roof where the kitchen is. I could see all the installation inside. Now im back on the ground walking up the steps into the house. I tell my mother there is a hole in the roof. She says she already knows. She then takes me outside. I follow behind her to the back of the house. She takes a few pieces of siding off the house to reveal a hole. She climbs in first. I climb in after her. It was wet and moldy. I remember smelling the mold. I see installation and wood from the frame of the house. I see the sun coming thru the whole in the roof. My mother then fades away and its just me. I see a pond that was formed from rain water coming in through the roof. I see a dark shadow past by me. It was fast. I felt afraid. I look back at the pond and see a white and orange calico cat walk up to the pond and drink out of it. I pointed and said "here kitty kitty" The cat ignored me. I then crawled back out of the spot to see my mom waiting for me. I then wake up from the dream.