Thread: Divorce and Nightmares

Originally posted by onewayout
Hello,

I am in the process of getting a divorce and recently I started to have nightmares that strike a little to close to home and remind me of the pain my soon to be Ex has caused me they also make me apprehensive about what my lay ahead.
The dreams are extremely realistic, vivid and far to common.
I have tried focusing on things that make me happy before I go to sleep aswell as watching movies as I go to sleep both with no success.
what are some good techniques for controlling my dreams content?
Thanks,
P.S.
I have had Lucid dreams in the past but for now I really just want to not have these bad dreams that I am currently having.

Hello there, & welcome to the forum!!
You are going through stress, and stress can affect your dream control. I should know, b/c there have been times when I have undergoed stress, & had no control whatsoever in the dreams. Until that time comes, maybe you should listen to peaceful music, know that there are people on here that are going to look out for you. Once the stress is over, you will notice your LDs will return to normal..
And if you have any other questions, feel free to PM a DG, or me.

This may sound a little strange, but it helps me clear my mind before falling asleep, therefore having better dreams. I think I read about an exercise similar to this somewhere, but I sort of modified it to suit me better.

I lay in bed and close my eyes. I picture a large blackboard in my mind. Written on the board are all the thoughts that are flowing through my mind (work stuff, etc.). It can be full sentences or just words. Then I take an eraser and wipe away all the thoughts from the board. Once the board is completely clear, I concentrate on keeping my mind (the blackboard) clear and blank. If my thoughts stray back to something, and words start to appear on the blackboard again, I just wipe them away again. Usually the effort of keeping my mind and the board blank drives my brain into sleep. Drifting off without all those stray thoughts usually keeps me from having bad dreams - and I seem to recall them better in the morning.

I don't know if this will work for you - and you could always tweak it to fit you better (just as I did), but try it. What have you got to lose except more sleep and bad dreams?

Hey There,
That situation sucks, I went through it myself about 5 years ago.

I found that if I tried to wrap my mind around the whole situation at once,
I felt overwhelmed. There's just too much stress and negativity, and for me,
I feeling of loss of control over my life. My sleep and dreams were definitely
in turmoil.

This worked for me, maybe you'll benefit as well.

I made a list of everything I could think of that was going on in my life at that time.
Anything good or bad, things to do, feelings I was having, thoughts and plans
for the future. Everything.
I split the list into things I could do something about and things I was going to
have to accept. After that I started working on what I could and trying to get used to
the new facts I was unable to change. I really thought out each item on my list
and pondered the worst case scenarios and tried to be ready.

This put me back in control of alot of things, started my healing, and kept me
prepared for the future. I was never blindsided and was pleasantly surprised
by how well I handled some difficult times.
Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need an ear. RC.