akwardness and reluctance in dream discussions

[l3xicon]

Hey, everyone. I was thinking lately about how I really don't know many people with whom I can have a really good dream discussion, and I started wondering why that is. It occurred to me that it seems a lot of people seem to have a sort of in-built reluctance to share their dreams. I realized that I don't tell a lot of my friends about my dreams, because in the past when I did, they would sometimes react as if it were strange or inappropriate for me to do so. This wouldn't be an obvious reaction, but I just got the feeling that it made them uncomfortable that I was telling them, for example, that I dreamed I was a pregnant woman. My theory is that, perhaps since we're often taugh that dreams represent repressed unconscious desires and such, that to publicize them is somehow indecent, since you are exposing intimate information about yourself. But that's just my theory. I'm curious if others have experienced any similar difficulties in discussing dreams with others. -anglicus

[nina]

One of the main reasons I don't discuss my dreams with friends outside of this board is that I don't feel like I can fully express my dreams in a way that the other person will understand or even care about. For each of us, our dreams are personal. I might have a dream I think is awesome, but when I try to explain it, it just seems pointless b/c the other person will never really comprehend. Especially lucid dreaming. It's kind of like a "you had to be there" type of thing.

[gameover]

I often hide details of my dreams to people wondering what theyll think. But in truth I dont think thiers a single person who doesnt dream some really messed up shit. But this forum's a great place to say the unthinkable and actually get some good feedback(along with some stupid comments, but I like them as well)

[nina]

Originally posted by gameover I often hide details of my dreams to people wondering what theyll think. But in truth I dont think thiers a single person who doesnt dream some really messed up shit. Hey Gameover...your post reminded me of this quote I love. "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." - William Dement

[Seeker]

Dreaming is such a private thing. I mean, it reveals your very essence to you. I can discuss anything I dream with my wife and most of my dreams with this community, but that's about it.

[gameover]

Good quote. I like that a lot.

[Alric]

Personlly I think a lot of people don't care much. Of course people here care because this is a dream forum but a lot of other people you meet might not even remeber dreams very often. Unless a dream is about the person or something the person find interesting, I am not to sure they will really care. In that case if its weird, they might think your weird. If its a dream about something they like though, it won't seem weird at all to them. They might have even dreamed about it themself. When I say weird I mean something they don't normally do. Like if you dream of a computer game but they don't play on the computer they might think your weird. Or you dream of a TV show and they never seen that show or think that show is stupid, then it would be weird. Now if its a dream that really is weird like you had 6 arms and two heads in your dream and you ran around attacking pink rabbit people, that is normally strange enough that they will just call it a strange dream. People won't think your weird for having a really bizarre dream, its the slightly weird ones they mistake for unconscious desires and stuff.

[evangel]

Originally posted by anglicus My theory is that, perhaps since we're often taugh that dreams represent repressed unconscious desires and such, that to publicize them is somehow indecent, since you are exposing intimate information about yourself. I 'gree totally. We're (over)conditioned to keep 'em to ourselves... I've had some pretty good discussions with a friend of mine who has had some lucid dreaming experience, but not half as much as I. He tends to regard them highly and we share many of the same spiritual convictions and beliefs so we connect pretty well when it comes to dreaming. All others I've spoken to about them either have the same reaction you described or they just kind of don't know what to say at all. Still, I usually have no desire to share my more personal dreams with anyone else... Maybe if I were married I might share these with my wife.

[Amethyst Star]

I think it's easier to talk about dreams 1-on-1 because there's very little social pressure on the other person. If you're in a group, I think some ppl might ridicule you because they don't want their friends to think that they're "into that kind of stuff, too." It's just a defense mechanism against possible ridicule. However, if more than one person is talking about it, I think it'd be easier to share experiences.

[l3xicon]

It occured to me later, and some of you have already mentioned this, that it could be due to simple disinterest as well. It is true that a lot of people pay little or no attention to their dreams, so when someone else tries talking about them, they feel like it's a waste of time, trivial, childish, etc. Also, as Lucidnina pointed out, many dreams cannot really be appreciated unless you dream them yourself, so a lot of people get really bored hearing about others' dreams.