Thread: Yo

I been lurking for awhile trying to figure out how to word this introduction properly... I'm Puzzlefactory. I have had a pretty chaotic life, I mean, everyone has, but mine was kinda out there I suppose, like alot of WTF moments heh. I'm even diagnosed with "complex" PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) among other things.

I first heard about lucid dreaming when I was about 15 through the internets. Had my first one when I was like 17... pretty trippy shit. Now I have them like, every... single... fucking... night. I wake up questing my reality every morning. Having philosophical discussions with an manifestation of my subconscious mind that is an independent person. I been my younger self, I been a dragon, dog, dolphin lol the three D's. Even my damn Skyrim character. third person, first person. All that shit. I try to talk to people IRL about it but I usually get blown off.

Religion... I was raised catholic, went through my atheist stage, then my agnostic stage but I do really believe there is a correlation between like, simple brain functions and the....Astral plane? Dimethyltryptamine, all that good stuff.

But honestly, I wish I was still ignorant to this lucid dreaming thing. I even told my psychiatrist about it, he blew me off and prescribed me temazapam and it only made lucid dreams more prevalent lol. I seen some weird shit, like people with black holes as faces, having an argument with my (spirit guide) which I told it (switches from male to female, human, dragon ect) he/she was just a project of my subconscious mind, through expectations and experience of people I know, videogames I played ect. And it told me "even if I am contained within your own mind, I have an independent thought process and you cannot perceive what I am about to say, so for instance if I am just a "projection" which I am not, even if you do believe that, does that not make me a "real person?" the fact that you give me an independent personality? Which you can have a full on debate with as if I am a real person in the "waking" world. Even if I am contained within your own subconscious mind, you created me... an individual with an independent thought process from your own. But I'm on your level here trying to reason with you... from your perspective when in reality, I been watching you for a long time and you finally have been able to talk to me. I'm not a projection, I'm a spirit" (I got it all written down) then some other crazy shit happened like, WTF man. he/she/it I run into alot and we have the same debate me trying to be rational, and it trying to....open me up to other possibilities. One really crazy one is when we were both dragons flying through super Mario world on SNES having a crazy discussion, but I will save that for later.

Before I post, out of the damn 400 dreams I have written down, one comes to mind. When I was in prison (like I said chaotic life) I was bsing with my cellmate about dreams really late at night. When I was a kid I had a reoccurring nightmare about a headless girl following me around. But I did not feel any fear, just extreme sadness. So me and my cellmate were bsing and he said when he was about 5 (same age as I was) he had this nightmare that has stuck with him his whole life... he kept talking about it and he was like "when I turned around..." then I said, "the girl did not have a head right?" and he literally almost jumped outta his skin!!!! WTF! keep in mind this dude was like a 48 year old black dude and I'm a 24 year old white boy. Yup she did not have a head... he said "I never felt fear, just extreme sadness." same with my dream... As a firm believer in the chaos theory, this totally threw the chaos theory out of the window.

I'm tired of waking up every morning questioning whether this is real life or a fucking dream, it's really wearing my mind out. Just as a warning don't go to deep.... man really.

but yeah, I hope to find others who been to "that place" people I can talk to because no one gets it, just...I think I went to deep. However, hope I can find some good homies on here who can relate. So yeah, hi I'm puzzleFactory nice to come on board.