Thread: **READ BEFORE POSTING** Adoption Guidelines

3. How can I get adopted?

First off, decide whether or not adoption will be right for you. This program is designed for a two-fold commitment by both parties. If you think you only need help for a short time or just have a few questions, instead of adoption just PM someone with your questions. You can always declare an adoption if the question/answer period continues longer than you originally intended.

-Prerequisites

THE MOST BASIC PREREQUISITE IS THAT YOU NEED TO BE A MEMBER FOR TWO WEEKS BEFORE APPLYING FOR ADOPTION. We have a lot of frustrated adopters with missing children who disappear shortly after being adopted. The two weeks is to help ensure that a member intends to remain here at DV and intends to learn. An adoptee wants to know that his or her time and effort aren’t wasted.

Secondly, it is a rule that an adoptee is supposed to seek out and contact his or her own potential adopter. I know that it may be hard to find the right person for you, but there are a lot of people on this site who are happy to help out. Don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. We were all beginners at some point. At any rate, by speaking out and contacting your own adopter, you also show that you have at least some self-motivation.

I will shortly be working on the “Looking for a Newbie to Adopt” thread, where you will be able to see who is adopting and what their strengths, weaknesses, and personal styles are.

-Posting Rules

I know that there will be some people who will post “Adopt Me” threads regardless of what was just mentioned. So in case that happens, there are some rules to be followed.

1. You must have been a member for at least two weeks. Any posts made prior to that will be addressed by a Dream Guide or myself and locked until the two weeks are up.

2. You must post more than “Adopt me, please!” or “Help!” or “Please by my friend!” This does not give the adopter any idea of who you are or what kind of person you are looking for. Give more background on your experiences, and if you’re brand-spankin’ new, just tell us.

3. After an adoption is confirmed, the thread will be locked and later deleted after a (soon to be) pre-determined length of time. Just keep that in mind.

4. You may only post one thread. Any others will be deleted! If you do not received an answer after two days, PM one of the Adoption Forum moderators.

5. If an adoption is confirmed, make sure that it is posted in the “Adopted” thread so that we know who’s found someone to help them and who might still be looking. Also, it's a great idea to post who adopted you in your signature or profile.

I will soon come up with a submission guide, but I would strongly recommend taking the initiative yourself to find and adopter. It shows you’re ready to work and by getting to know an adopter yourself you’re more qualified to know if that person really is the right one for you.

4. How can I adopt someone?

Many members of the site come here as beginners, knowing nothing or little about LDing. However, some people who come here are already knowledgeable about how to become lucid and which to share what they’ve learned. But we have a few guidelines for these people as well.

1. Time prerequisites:

The same as with potential adoptees, we ask that the member be here for at least two weeks before adopting. This allows the person to know the layout of the site as well as to become familiar with the other members here so that if they ever need anything, they would know who to contact for answers.

2. Posting Rules:

There is a thread for people who are willing to adopt. There is a clear-cut submission outline so that information is easy for a potential adoptee to find. Please do not post outside of this thread. You’ve been told so now you know

5. How can we make this work?

The most important aspect of an adoption is consistent and constant communication. The more information an adoptee provides, the more likely the adopter will be able to assist them in a meaningful way. This also encourages both members to take this seriously.

Secondly, give the adoption time. Many new dreamers don’t become lucid right away; it takes time and dedication. I’d advise giving at least two weeks before you decide if it is working or not. Also, before you decide, take into account any and all improvements that you and/or your adopter have seen. Then from there, decide if the program is working or if something else needs to be done.

If you decide that it is not working, you have three options: 1. End the adoption. 2. Come back to the adoption later and hope for improvement. 3. Find a new adopter. If the first is the case, I would like for you to contact an Adoption Forum Mod and let us know why the adoption didn’t work and what could have been better.

If you wish to change your adopter, make sure the person you’re with knows that it is taking place and why. Then you could post a thread in the AF forum, but be sure to include what you have worked on, any improvement you have seen, and what you are now looking for. Be as detailed as you can be.

As for the adopters, make sure you are not trying to take on too many charges at one time. Make sure that you have time to devote to the people you have no and if you find that you have more time, then feel free to take on more.

6. What does it mean to be "raised"?

Obviously a person can’t/shouldn’t stay adopted forever. When the adopter feels that their student is ready to continue on their own or that their services are no longer required, then they will consider the adoptee “raised.” Though it’s not always the case, an adopter may also raise an adoptee if they lose contact, yet still feel that they had an impact on the pupil’s learning.

Note: I will be compiling a list of all the documented adoptions and raisings. Why? Just because.


7. Can more than one person adopt someone?

In essence, yes, this is possible. The benefit would be that one can gain different insights from various people, especially if they were looking into multiple induction techniques. However, this can lead to overlapped or contradicted information. It can go 50/50 either way, so just decide for yourself if it seems right.

ANNOUNCEMENT

This forum is now subject to moderator approval of posts. We're not trying to keep people from helping others (no, seriously), but we're just trying to keep things a bit more organized. So, if you're a new member who hasn't read any of this post and you haven't been here for two weeks, your post won't show up until you have been here for two weeks. (See above for more information.)

And don't think that it'll take forever for us to appove your post if it's legitimate. The DGs/mods and myself and on here daily and so just give it some time. Thanks!

-Amé