inane, yes you are...

[jacobo]

> >Inane, Yes You Are... > > > > > >Monday, Kitchen. > >I'm holding your hand but you won't stop punching my face. > >'Thanks' I say after each one. > >Eventually I become unconscious. > > > >Tuesday, Park. > >'I'll pay for you to get new teeth.' > >'Thanks.' > >I look at my old teeth in the palm of my hand, then I look back up at you. > >'You look a little funny with the black eyes, swollen nose, fat lip, > >bruised face and all those missing teeth.' > >'Thanks.' > >'No need to thank me. You earned them.' > > > >Wednesday, Restaurant. > >'I'll have the Porterhouse Steak.' > >'D'ya want fries or potatoes.' > >'Potatoes please.' > >'I'll have the soup.' > > > >Thursday, Dentist's. > >'This is gonna hurt a little.' > >'What are you gonna do?' > >'I have to remove some of your teeth.' > >'Can't you just straighten em and fix em up?' > >'No. If we leave them they'll eventually go rotten and fall out and you'll > >be in all kinds of trouble.' > >'Oh.' > >'So we'll take them out and fit new teeth.' > >'New teeth? What like dentures?' > >'No. Real teeth.' > >'Where're the new teeth gonna come from.' > >'Oh, uhh, we grow them on the back of mice.' > >'What like that ear they grew on that mouse?' > >'Exactly. Its quite a rare procedure because its expensive, lucky for you > >your girlfriend said money's no object. She's pretty good to you huh?' > >'Yeah, she knocked em out.' > > > >Friday, Sofa. > >'So are you in much pain?' > >I nod my head. > >'You look pretty funny with your mouth all bandaged shut.' > >I nod my head. > >'So tomorrow your teeth will be usable?' > >I shake my head and write on my pad: > > Liquids for a week, > > then boiled vegetables, etc, etc > > steak in 3 months > >'They're human teeth though right?' > >I nod yes. > >'Not like uhh.. real big mouse teeth?' > >I nod no. > > Grown from HUMAN DNA > >'From your DNA?' > > No, from someone with good strong teeth > >'Better than your original teeth then?' > >I nod yes. > > Cleaned & bleached my remaining teeth so they'd match > >'You're gonna look like Tom Cruise.' > >I nod yes. > > > >Saturday, Dentist's. > >'THEY LOOK LIKE BIG FUCKIN MOUSE TEETH.' > >'Oh, uhh.. when the swelling goes down they'll look better.' > >'You're trying to tell me the SHAPE will change?' > >'Umm, don't worry they'll heal up real nice.' > >'Will the shape change?' > >'Yes.' > >I hit the doctor in the face with a quick punch. He falls over some > >equipment. > >'WHAT the FUCK?' > >The receptionist and my girlfriend come running in. > >'YOU GOT MOUSE TEETH!' > >She kicks the doctor in the stomach. > >'You gotta fix him up.' > >'He claims they'll look better in a few days.' > >'You believe him?' > >'I don't know.' > >She kicks him again and I punch his receptionist square in the eye. > > > >Sunday, Bed. > >I rollover. > >'Let's see how your teeth are doing.' > >I smile. > >'Well?' > >'MOUSE TEETH.' > >'I'm gonna KILL him.' > >'Don't worry we'll work something out.' > >I move to kiss her. She recoils. > >'Sorry... I uhh, can't kiss you like that.' > >'The teeth?' > >'YEAH THE TEETH.' > >I punch her in the mouth again and again. i don't know who wrote it.

[wombing]

[Oneironaut Zero]

Lmfao. Funny shit.