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    1. #1
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      Poems for Submission. Help Please!?!

      So I have an opportunity to have some of my poems published in my college's poetry magazine... I can submit as many as I want, but I personally don't want to submit more than 4, which ones should I do? If you only think one or even none of them is/are worth submitting, then go ahead and say so



      1) At the Edges of Her Ocean

      I glance at the edges of her ocean
      Unsure
      Should I take this plunge?
      If I do I will be lost
      Forever.
      Surrounded by unfathomable beauty
      Suspended in unending, ceaseless, joy
      I know full well that if I choose to dive
      My gaze will never waver from her eyes.

      2) Your Heroes Are Dead

      Your Heroes are dead
      They're all in your head
      Their memories fade
      As the sun rises, red, burning.
      A monument to ubiquity.

      Your Heroes are gone
      They left with the dawn
      Your childish wishes
      While the moon dances, silver, shining.
      A monument to naivete.

      Your Heroes have no legacy
      Save fleeting hypnopædic memories
      And when nothing is left
      We'll start again.


      3) So Many Times Before

      Its happened again
      As it has so many times before
      Mr. Wonderful broke your heart
      Now he's off with "That Little Slut"

      And as you have so many times before
      You come to me resting on my shoulder
      Pouring your heart out, and crying softly

      You look up at me with tears in your eyes
      As you have so many times before
      And in choking sobs you exclaim
      "I wish I could find a guy like you"

      And as I have done so many times before
      I look down at you with a sad smile
      and say
      "Yeah...
      That would be great."


      4) Hyperspace Funbox


      Vibrations like woah.

      Back in my hyperspace funbox.
      There's this weird wall that's not really a wall.
      It's just a continuum covered in green and purple squares.
      Inside the squares are question marks and sevens.
      Always moving and shifting, but I don't know what is what.

      The same box is in the middle.
      Same color scheme but so weird.
      So damn hard to wrap my head around.
      I think it might actually be my head.
      There are these strange pink hieroglyphs on the box.
      I need to learn them. I need them. They are the answer.

      Who the fuck is that?
      And what's he doing fucking with my Space/Time?
      The Riddler? Eh?

      The Riddler? is fucking with me,
      putting his hands in my face,
      blocking the message.
      I need to see the key. I need the answer.

      The Riddler? taunts me.
      Some interdimensional spirit, stuck in the middle of a trip.
      Guarding the next level.
      He doesn't laugh, but you know he wants to.
      Laughing that you're still in the mother fucking hyperspace funbox.
      "Haha, thats all you got?"
      Fuck you Riddler?! You're stuck in this fucking funbox for life.

      I open my eyes.
      Girls dancing inside the waterfall.
      Rocks become Easter Island like it ain't no thang.
      I see the Lion of Zion in a mountain.
      Shit. I guess the Riddler? got me.

      5) Aurora Surrealis

      Dancing purple amphista
      whirl feverishly
      under the midnight sun
      and weep tears that fall heavily
      like lead
      and bruise their toes.



      6) Assault on Reason


      Like a bandanna tied tight, they restrict your vision
      Unable to see out through the current conditions.
      An assault on reason, with implications of fear
      Tyrannical acts of terrorism draw near.
      Not from Al Queda or Iran, Iraq
      Our own government oversaw the 911 attack.
      God damn back stabbers, don't give a fuck
      Administer ID cards, to keep their ideals intact
      I'll rip through this system of kings and treason
      Colder then snow gripping the summer season
      Slightly misleading, but reread the lines
      It's misplaced, like situational fines

      So where as citizens do we draw the line?

      Or should I give up freedom as which should be mine?


      7) Something Real

      A man who hated poetry
      Stepped out in the rain one day
      His shoulders were hunched as he pulled up his hood
      He was looking for something to say

      Life had become so dreary
      To get out of bed was a chore
      He'd abandoned his friends toward reclusive ends
      And the ladies all found him a bore

      His car was decrepit and rusty
      His clothes, they were ragged and worn
      He looked like a slob with a low-paying job
      And his hair was unstylishly shorn

      The judgment of others he dreaded
      Such weight did he give to their jeers!
      He never would try, he'd just sit back and cry
      That he didn't fit in with his peers!

      He wasn't the king of nothin'
      Couldn't sing or draw a cartoon
      An eccentric of sorts and he didn't play sports
      And he'd never even been to the moon!

      He wished he'd had something to offer
      For the world to know he had worth
      But it's hard to go forth and to live out one's dreams
      When one carries the weight of the Earth

      He wanted to live in solitude
      At the same time, attention he craved
      He felt trapped in the box of a sad paradox
      And quite sure that he couldn't be saved

      Well the rain it kept on a-pourin'
      It soaked through his hood to his hair
      He stood and he thought and he thought as he stood
      That surely he was going nowhere

      Was this what the good Lord intended?
      Limbo was all that he'd known
      It seemed plain in his mind the he'd stayed far behind
      While everyone else had all grown

      Along came a break in the rainfall
      The sun momentarily shone
      Then all in a flash he sat down on his ass
      And he scribbled his very first poem

      It took him a couple of hours
      He erased it again and again
      It wasn't that good but he threw back his hood
      And looked up at the sky with a grin.

      8) Wakethesilence


      Wake up.
      Open your eyes.
      The lives you lead are all lies.
      But you'd rather die blind.
      Oblivious to the fact.
      That you can fight back.
      And stand for something.
      Rather than dying for nothing.
      Your materialism creates the hate.
      Stored inside your soul.
      That will be with you till you grow old.
      So be bold.
      And take a stand.
      We'll be there to hold your hand.
      As we walk to the capitol.
      We'll watch it all fall.
      To the ground.
      With not a sound to be heard.
      Though it deafens the ears.
      The silence.

      Is the only thing that exists.


      ________________________________________________

      Thanks for your input!

    2. #2
      Going Nowhere Fast BiVixen's Avatar
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      I love them...you're amazing.
      My favourites are: 1,3 and 5-8

      haha, not very helpful, I'm sure.
      Somewhere weakness is our strength
      I'll die searching for it...
      I believe that there's hope
      ********************
      The children the world almost break become the adults who save it.

    3. #3
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      /blushes


      Thanks

    4. #4
      Member CoLd BlooDed's Avatar
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      My two favourite are 5 and 7. The hyperspace funbox one is pretty sick too but it's too easy to mistake it for being filled with metaphor or just plain gibberish.

      5 I really like because it's short and sweet, and momentarily it takes you away with its vivid imagery and then brings you back instantly with that last line. No idea what it means but I like it.

      7 I like because if you read between the lines there could be a hidden paradox. The man who didn't like poetry could be talking about himself in the poem he wrote talking about himself not liking poetry and so on and so forth.

      The other ones are okay, political shit really ruins a poem in my opinion, though.

      Good shit.


      Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and gray,
      Look out on a summers day,
      with eyes that know the darkness of my soul.


    5. #5
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      Thanks CB...





      bump

    6. #6
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      I ended up submitting 6 of them, all but 2 and 3


      I should find out in a few days which if any got chosen.

    7. #7
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      I just recieved an email inviting me to a luncheon for all the contributors...
      but they want us to read some of our work to the crowd... I'm really not sure if I want to do that.

    8. #8
      Dreaming up music skysaw's Avatar
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      My favorite is #5. I'm a bit biased against rhyme and poems of love or devotion, though, so that counts a few out for me.

      Edit: Weird... when I opened this thread and responded, it contained only the first post.
      _________________________________________
      We now return you to our regularly scheduled signature, already in progress.
      _________________________________________

      My Music
      The Ear Is Always Correct - thoughts on music composition
      What Sky Saw - a lucid dreaming journal

    9. #9
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      that is weird o_O

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