My Story in Progress, need views and contribution

**WaveShaper** · 08-23-2004 07:30 PM

hey
I have started at story called "Page One" and its about a baby's dreams. It is told by the baby when he is now 17 and is based on me. This allows me to write about how I feel rather than writing up a new person.
It starts by telling of what the baby is thinking whilst inside its mother's womb and when it leaves it see's the nurse dressed in white. It believes her to be an angel and closes it's eyes and allows itself to be wisked away to a beautiful green field. In this field it meets a tree who has extensive knowledge about dreams. The baby asks the tree questions about dreams which the tree happily answers in its booming voice.
A crow tells the baby that the objects it now see's in this field are all trapped in a dream and unable to wake up. The baby was goin to wake up but now decides to find out why it is able to have this knowledge in it's mind when it has only just been born. It realises that is must have made the tree say what it said.

This is how far I have got writing the story in full (with actual speech etc) but I want ideas from you guys on what else the baby should see in it's first dream. I had the idea that it will wake up at some point to find out it has no power or speech in the real world so it sleeps again and to never wake up till its older.
What events should I add? Do any of you lot want to be a person it meets?

**Bornslip** · 08-23-2004 10:27 PM

How about introducing the story further with having the baby go into a coma, but not a normal coma, but one where the doctors discover an unusal high level of brain activity for a baby, or someone in a coma in general. The high level of brain activity would be because of all the dreaming, obviously. Now, I don't know what time this story is set it or how realistic it is going to be set, but maybe you could add some sort of futuristic sci-fi dream reading gadget into the story, that would be able to read brainwaves or something, and put the baby's dreams onto a tv screen that the parents could watch to see what their baby is dreaming...and just develop the story from there...