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    1. #1
      Join Date
      Dec 2009

      A character from my series "Age Of Valor"

      Hi everyone, I would someday like to become an writer/author as a career choice and I love writing and enjoy other's feedback. This here is an excerpt from a much larger story or I should say series I titled "Age Of Valor". The following is basically some info/stats and a bio on a character I named Dacium Galum, a jaded ex-military Warrior.

      Age Of Valor Character Bios

      Dacium Galum

      Real name: Dacium Galum
      Name Meaning: “Down Below”
      Height: 5’10”
      Weight: 180lbs
      DOB: AOHE1
      DOD: AOVE3 (Aged 77yrs)
      Birthplace: Misrata, Libya
      Home City: Valencia, Europe
      Ethnicity: Latin
      Alignment: Neutral
      Weapon: Erosus (Latin for “Indented, Serrated and Sharp”
      Occupation(s): Ex-Dominion grunt/Tavern Guard/Patrol Man

      Bio: Dacium Galum was a moderately skilled swordsman whom, during his youth, was forced into the wicked Marcius’s Dominion to conquest Libya and Tunisia. Described as quiet and restrained, Dacium was often distant of others, but he was also very articulate and sound in his behavior, and he was great at writing scrolls and memoirs of his life. He was intelligent and knowledgeable, but in a jaded sense. He had a dark side, but it was believed, this may have been retained from his days following the orders of the Dominion Under command of the black hearted Marcius Marcellus.

      However though, Dacium was a mere grunt in the Dominion hierarchy, therefore he never had to undergo any war action during any of the Dominion/Allied Force battles that took place in the early part of the first era of the Age Of Valor.

      Thus he survived as a defect warrior, as well as a reluctant one from the start because he never wanted to serve, not supporting Marcius’s cause.

      All of the best warriors from the Dominion were disposed of first, as Dacium Galum was in the very distant back ranks, nervously awaiting very likely death, though it did not come as the war ended mid first era in Leptis Magna (Neopolis).

      Dacium wielded a sword he named “Erosus”, which in Latin meant “Serrated, Indented and Sharp”.

      Dacium’s name meaning was known as “Down Bellow”.

      2nd Era AOV

      Dacium traveled to King Grendel III’s province and became a tavern guard at a place known as the Red Tavern (getting it’s name from the Mahogany colored wood constructing the place). However locals as well as the garrisons feared him because of his past and other notable dispositions. He spent most of the time hold up in the ancient tomb-like chambers hidden beneath the tavern, that very few were aware of.

      Red Tavern incident

      Dacium was involved in an incident that took place in the Red Tavern, later regarding him as a hero when he single handedly killed six murderous thieves that had apparently entered the tavern and mercilessly slaughtered all the peasants. Dacium Galum, whom was deaf in both ears, was unaware of the disturbance above him, as he lay in his dark private chambers below. Apparently when the thieves discovered the “trap door” leading to the tomb below, they met a very malicious ruin…

      The story told of this was titled “Massacre at Red Tavern” and is renowned as a tale of suspense and vengeance. The story at first seems tragic but turns out a sweet and gruesome justice…

      According to those whom was told the tale, they were unable to sleep for a week……

      A garrison interviewed by a scribe once said, “Though we could not recognize the bodies of the six thieves, we knew justice was restored, though Dacium had an innate evil to him…but a necessary one at that.”

      Deathuring the beginning of the third era of the Age of Valor, Dacium came down with a wicked cold and passed away while traveling the northlands attempting to make a trade with a Roman Fort. He was 77 years old.

      Author Notes
      As I stated this is merely a branch off or side story to my series "Age Of Valor" that I would say indirectly affects the main plot. I am looking very forward to posting the Massacre at Red Tavern story in the future (Warning: Will be explicit)

      This feels like a good break in and thank you. Feedback will be appreciated.

      BTW, I'm new to these forums so I apologize that I did not go to the newbie section to introduce myself first.

    2. #2
      Member Vampyre's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2004
      Ontario Canada
      Make it sexier. Basically, it comes off as a guy who joined the military reserves, never fought, then moved on to be a bartender. Dying from a cold? What kind of hero dies from a cold? Heroes die from interesting things like being ravaged by a pack of mountain lions commanded by a witch. Crazy shit like that. Not a cold...

      Also, I hope you'll proofread your actual work more than this.
      Last edited by Vampyre; 12-15-2009 at 12:58 AM.

    3. #3
      Fan of "That Guy" Lëzen's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 2007
      California, USA
      ^You've obviously never read any good literature. A good writer can write about the life of a stone, and it'll be captivating. Going to extravagant lengths to pack as much action as possible into one's book is the sign of a bad writer...or a mediocre one at best.
      Last edited by Lëzen; 12-15-2009 at 06:26 PM.
      Final Fantasy VI Rules!

      Total LDs: 10 | WILDs: 4 | DILDs: 5 | DEILDs: 2
      "Take atheism, for example. Not a religion? Their pseudo-dogmatic will to convert others to their system of beliefs is eerily reminiscent of the very behavior they criticize in the religious."

    4. #4
      Join Date
      Dec 2009
      Yeah Vampyre, I though Dacium passing away from a cold would be a twitch of irony. Also I did not deem him that kind of hero who dies in some explicit honorable fashion, since he was not really that kind of "headfirst, I'll do it my way kind of guy" regardless of personal safety.

      Surely though, had those thieves not had gone down the dungeon underneath the tavern, Dacium would have left them alone. What do you think?

      As for Dacium being deaf, I had to give him some kind of impairment/disposition so he's not just another generic character. The history behind this is while he served the Dominion, they jammed a thin, flamming, hot rod in both of his ear canals and sliced his earlobes off. Simply because he miss-heard an important order. He never retained hearing after this...

      I guess they figure your not worth talking to if you mess up, even once on a crucial verbal protocol. Other punishments were prevalent as well. Some involving tongue, eyes ect. if you catch the drift.

      BTW, it's funny you mentioned being ravaged by animals as a death, as some of my other characters within the series do suffer such fates. I'm glad you brought that up Vampyre. One such character does in fact get eaten by Lions. Not mountain lions. But the king of the beast "Lions".
      Last edited by Tall Tale; 12-15-2009 at 10:19 PM.


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