Thread: Another writing attempt.

this character has some serious issues :(
reminds me of one of mine, with the angry fantasies they don't actually go through with.

I don't think it's all that bad, but could definitely be a lot better. I really feel it should be more condensed - oh, I'd so love to give you some specific constructive criticism, but at the moment it feels like my brain is on fire and melting seriously :c

maybe tomorrow or something, but I'm coming back to this for sure. is this...spontaneous writing or have you had this story for awhile?

""You want me to find "x"? Jacob asked her calmly, her screams nearly blocking out his voice. He gave her hair a good yank that turned her to face the board. "Oh look, it's over here!" He said as he placed his left hand at the back of her head before ramming her face into the whiteboard. "Here's "x" Ms. Stantler, here it is! Are you happy? Are you fucking happy we found "x"?"

This had me LMAOing

Originally Posted by Flashdance

Hope to see more of your writing.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by nerve

this character has some serious issues
reminds me of one of mine, with the angry fantasies they don't actually go through with.

I don't think it's all that bad, but could definitely be a lot better. I really feel it should be more condensed - oh, I'd so love to give you some specific constructive criticism, but at the moment it feels like my brain is on fire and melting seriously :c

maybe tomorrow or something, but I'm coming back to this for sure. is this...spontaneous writing or have you had this story for awhile?

I would appreciate the criticism whenever you feel like giving it.
This writing started pretty spontaneously, I thought about an idea for a few minutes and then started writing the other day. I didn't touch it for a few days until last night when I wrote the last bit I posted.

Originally Posted by Ethereal

""You want me to find "x"? Jacob asked her calmly, her screams nearly blocking out his voice. He gave her hair a good yank that turned her to face the board. "Oh look, it's over here!" He said as he placed his left hand at the back of her head before ramming her face into the whiteboard. "Here's "x" Ms. Stantler, here it is! Are you happy? Are you fucking happy we found "x"?"

This had me LMAOing

Haha, thanks.