Thread: Tell me about forming good habits

The best source (imho) for information about good habits is Steve Pavlina.

You may check theese ressources:

30 Days to Success
Habits and the Long View
Goals Into Habits

I second the advice to check out Steve Pavlina. Anything I could say about it, he says better. But if you're not easily confused by partial ideas taken way out of context and combined with ridiculous analogies that I come up with on the spot, these are my thoughts:

Forming good habits or changing old habits is hard work. But with persistence, they do change. It always takes longer than I'd like to change them. Having a good long term reason to change them is the only way I am able to stick with it. An fairly unchanging reason is like a mountain that stays there, always in sight, urging me ever upward toward its peak. After some good solid work on forming a habit, like a month or more, it generally will show up in my dreams as new behavior in those similar situations. I'm encouraged by this, and take it as a sign the deeper aspects of my mind are being changed. Then comes the most important part. When I think I've got it down, and don't have to try anymore, I do coast for a while, and it's nice. But with everything, I fall into old patterns sometimes. I just refuse to get discouraged by this, and focus on the successes I've had. Even trying to change, while not having any success right now is a victory. Like changing the direction of a speeding freight train: at first, all I can do is cut off the fuel supply. It may still be speeding up with the fuel it is already burning, but I've taken the rest away. Then the work of slowing it down begins, and eventually, it stops, and starts creeping slowly in the opposite direction. Sure, it's ridiculously far from where it should be, and is deep within bad habit territory, getting hit by the low hanging trees of unchanged or counterproductive habits, but it is now on the track to get out of the thick of it as long as I keep it going in the right direction. If I'm developing a habit for weird reasons, like to impress people, to make people like me, or something like that, it doesn't stick long term. Because once a few people are impressed, it's mission accomplished, and all my energy to stay there has faded.

I like to read things that really excite me about the habits I'm developing. Little sayings, good quotes, a picture, a memory, whatever works. Also, there is a two pronged approach. Ultimately all actions begin with thoughts (which in themselves can be habits), and so changing my thoughts is necessary for developing a habit. But sometimes it's easy to make my body do the physical habit, without my thoughts agreeing with it. It feels fake and forced for a while like this, but eventually it becomes natural and spontaneous - the feelings of fake and forced disappear.

If you really want to be hard core about it, tell someone of your new habit, and ask them to point out to you when you're doing the opposite. Just be prepared for the urge to hide the failures from them, and for all kinds of feelings to be stirred up as they poke at your new habit. They are just trying to help, and you asked them to do it. If you really want the habit, it'll be a welcome reminder. If you're not really committed to it, or it's unclear, it can feel like being insulted. Clear, defined goals about the scope and power of the habit are helpful here. The clearer the better.

Good luck! Believe in yourself. I believe in you. You have to do so too.