Thread: Ask the Older Crowd

Originally Posted by pj

Yep - and I'll bet you also found piles of margarine containers, used aluminum foil, aluminum pie pans, plastic bread bags... and a lot of other things you probably couldn't figure out...

My mom had 12 brothers and sisters, lived in a 3 bedroom house, they slept 3 in a bed and ate meals in shifts. My grandfather was a coal miner and to hear them tell it they didn't know they were poor. Hand-me-downs was a way of life but the kids always had new clothes at Easter and got new shoes at the start of each school year.

pj, my mom TO THIS DAY still saves margarine containers, used aluminum foil, pie pans and plastic bread bags! She saved green stamps until they stopped issuing them and no amount of food (no matter how small) was ever thrown out (she is the queen of "leftovers")!

Edit: Once I read my answer about the number of bedrooms, I thought that can't be right so I called my mom. Yep, it was 3 bedroom.. but they also had a basement and some kids slept down there. Also in those days.. you got married and out of the house by 19 so there were always kids coming and going!

.

What do you wish you had done/not done/learned etc. when you were a teenager?

Originally Posted by 2Fruits

What do you wish you had done/not done/learned etc. when you were a teenager?

I've already pretty well covered this in a previous question for my case. There is precious little about my teen years that I am proud of.

You know what though... I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for those years and those mistakes. If a genii appeared today and asked if I would like to go back and change it all, I wouldn't risk it.

Originally Posted by 2Fruits

What do you wish you had done/not done/learned etc. when you were a teenager?

I've made tons of mistakes, but I wouldn't go back and change anything. Of all the flaws in my past, and all fun mistakes (and not fun mistakes) I will make someday..I'm alright with keeping them. I've done some amazing things, and some really really really stupid things. I've been hurt and I have hurt others without care or cause. That's just life. Sometimes we are the King, other times the fool. Today, I'm the King!

MD


(edit)....however, I guess the only thing I would have hoped to learn sooner than I did, was that everyone has feelings that should be treated with respect. When I was a teen, I was a snobby lil bitch. I was a cheerleader for 4 years, co capt my junior year, capt my senior year, head of the pep club...you name it, I was involved. I had my circle of friends and thats who mattered. I was careless with the feelings of others when I was younger. Some of my friends still haven't snapped out of that phase, but most of us have, thank goodness. Peer pressure is tough at that age, I know, but try not to be a jerk to someone for no reason other than your friends are, or it appears to make you look cool. You don't have to be everyones friend, just don't seek out negative reactions. Its hurtful and not helpful for anyone...anyone.

If I could go back and give advice to my teenage self, I would say something like this:

"You need to have more confidence and believe in yourself, you are just as good as all those other kids. Also, don't worry so much about getting a girlfriend and getting laid, focus more on your future, the perfect woman is waiting for you."

Originally Posted by MercurialDream

(edit)....however, I guess the only thing I would have hoped to learn sooner than I did, was that everyone has feelings that should be treated with respect.

Those words should be emblazoned across the doors of every high school everywhere. You nailed it, and you are right.

I wish I had been more aware of others feelings as well, and learned to respect them earlier. Having no respect for myself, however... it made it tough to even understand what that would have meant or involved.

Great reply.

The one thing I would change about my teenage years is I'd stay a virgin. I only had sex out of curiosity mainly. And it was a very akward experience that sort of turned me off to certain things. If I could tell my teen self one thing I'd say... Don't give it up girl. At least not just because you're curious about it.

There are several other things I'm not proud of but those, I think, are the things that helped me to toughen up and learn to not take shit from others so I think I'd let those situations be, as horrid as some of them were.

You know, I'm sixteen, and I think I'm one of the only ones to still be a virgin. It's not that I don't want to have sex, it's just that I'm not worried about it at this time. If I get it, I get it, but I don't go hunting for it. Plus, girls like the fact that I'm 'clean'.

And you know, it's funny you guys should be talking about feelings and stuff. Since I used to be a huge loser (literally - I was friendless all through grade 6), I've come to understand why it's so important to treat people nicely. To this day, I'm nice to everyone, regardless of their "status". God, I hate that word.

Alright, here's another question. Do you guys still feel as if life is going by faster and faster? This isn't to make you feel 'old', because you guys aren't, but because I've noticed since I was in middle school, things have just sped up. It's hard to believe I'm almost in grade 12.

Originally Posted by CoLd BlooDed

Alright, here's another question. Do you guys still feel as if life is going by faster and faster? This isn't to make you feel 'old', because you guys aren't, but because I've noticed since I was in middle school, things have just sped up. It's hard to believe I'm almost in grade 12.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The farther you get into it, the faster it goes.

Or maybe my own personal theory is right--time actually has speeded up. It must be continuing to accelerat, since now even the 16-year-olds have noticed it.

Originally Posted by CoLd BlooDed

Alright, here's another question. Do you guys still feel as if life is going by faster and faster? This isn't to make you feel 'old', because you guys aren't, but because I've noticed since I was in middle school, things have just sped up. It's hard to believe I'm almost in grade 12.

In a word, yes... but I've gained some control over that.

I think it happens because each year becomes a smaller and smaller part of our lives, so by reference, we perceive a geometric increase in the flow of time. But that's not all of it. I also think it happens because it is easy to let our brains slow down, which doesn't have to happen. The slower we think, the slower we perceive and the faster time seems to go.

A favorite exercise for me is just to count off the seconds in a minute. A minute is a LONG time! We lose track of that so easily. When I want to slow things down, I do the same things that you might do in a lucid dream to stabilize it - touch, smell, look... engage all the senses in the NOW. I also do my best to shut that "inner voice" up, because it distracts me from all there is to experience. Doing these things slows the flow of time for me.

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The farther you get into it, the faster it goes.

And the more it gets used up the more full of crap it becomes

Originally Posted by pj

I think it happens because each year becomes a smaller and smaller part of our lives, so by reference, we perceive a geometric increase in the flow of time.

Given how cliche' "time speeds up as you get older" is as a perceptual notion, I'm impressed to finally hear an explanation that makes sense. In the pure sense of "time flying" I believe you nailed it perfectly there.

Originally Posted by CoLd BlooDed

Alright, here's another question. Do you guys still feel as if life is going by faster and faster? This isn't to make you feel 'old', because you guys aren't, but because I've noticed since I was in middle school, things have just sped up. It's hard to believe I'm almost in grade 12.

When I read this question, I rolled my eyes and said "ohhh yeah" out loud. When I did my son said "what? what mom?", haha. Yes, time does go by faster and faster. I think this is because the older you get the more responsibilities you have and there is more you HAVE to do, instead of things that you WANT to do, so your mind gets fixed on what NEEDS to be done before what youd LIKE to get done. So, when that happens, you have less time (some time, just less than youd like) to do those other things, so it feels like time is slipping away on you. I'm always wanting more time with my children that doesn't include chores or 'parenting duties', something that is more fun and carefree. I make that time happen, because we all need to be a kid again and they need a parent with a fun spirit. This cuts down on my personal time, which is true for any parent. So.. yeah time flies faster and faster as you get older, but you just have to grasp your life by the neck and say "DAMNIT.. I WILL MAKE TIME FOR MYSELF!" which is why I am leaving for Hawaii in less than two weeks! Heehehe.. yeah me!

So, please enjoy life as much as possible, whenever possible. Doesnt matter if you are 16 or 60...or heck, even older than that, like pj! (HIDES!!)

*winks*

MD

Originally Posted by MercurialDream

So, please enjoy life as much as possible, whenever possible. Doesnt matter if you are 16 or 60...or heck, even older than that, like pj! (HIDES!!)

*winks*

MD

(That's rapidly becoming this ..ahem.. 46-year-old's favorite emoticon.)

I’ve taken more time than I probably should to read all of the posts here, considering I am supposed to be working!

WOW! What a wonderful group of people there are here!!

pj and Moonbeam---I can’t even begin to fathom what it would be like to unexpectantly find someone you love dead.

MercurialDream and Clarity—you are both brave, strong women!

Two of the worst times in my life were; the death of my father when I was 25. He died in a hospital of bronchopneumonia three days after major surgery. He would have been 58 in 11 days from his death.
My mother’s diagnosis of “dementia” at the beginning of 2002. It was just a nice way of saying “Alzheimer’s Disease.” She was 75 at the time. She is now 81. She does not know who I am, but I sure know who she is!

I do not have just one happiest time in my life--- I’ve experienced many and continue to experience them!!! I’m blessed , and I am aware of it and am truly thankful every day. Thank you, Lord!

Originally Posted by octoberchild

Two of the worst times in my life were; the death of my father when I was 25. He died in a hospital of bronchopneumonia three days after major surgery. He would have been 58 in 11 days from his death.
My mother’s diagnosis of “dementia” at the beginning of 2002. It was just a nice way of saying “Alzheimer’s Disease.” She was 75 at the time. She is now 81. She does not know who I am, but I sure know who she is!
[/SIZE][/FONT]

Octoberchild, I am so sorry to hear about your parents. I sincerely believe that somewhere deep inside your mother still knows you.. (you're her child).

Originally Posted by octoberchild

I’m blessed , and I am aware of it and am truly thankful every day. Thank you, Lord!

Amen.
.

Originally Posted by Clairity

Octoberchild, I am so sorry to hear about your parents. I sincerely believe that somewhere deep inside your mother still knows you.. (you're her child).
.

Your reply brought a smile to my face, because I also believe that deep inside her, she knows me, but just cannot put it in words anymore. Thanks, friend!

At what age ould you consider to be classed as "The older crowd"?

Howdy Yall, I'm so old I'm almost too tired to reply. (ha ha) Unfortunately I am 58, almost 60 and what I just said about being tired has been true for the last couple of days. And doggone if I know why. My energy level has just been shot here of late. Within the last five years I have had five major operations.
After every one of them I sure was surprised at waking up alive. So I better count my blessings. Lord am I the oldest one on this forum? You would think I would know stuff huh?
I do know that time is moving faster. Faster than I'm willing to keep up with. One consolation, when I dream I am always a 21 year old. Or a young adult. Has any other old folks noticed this? Im just curious.
Vee

Hey, Vee - welcome to the Old Crowd Thread! I'm sorry you're feeling tired. I've been under the weather myself. Going to lay down in a few minutes.

At what age ould you consider to be classed as "The older crowd"?

I rather arbitrarily set the bar at 40... but that isn't a hard line. I really do think most people "grow up" for REAL some time in their 30's. If you've made that transition in your life, then you are qualified to post here. Nobody can make that determination but you.

Oh, I guess anybody over the age of 50 could qualify. But if your 40 and when you dream you dream your a young 21 I guess that would count. How about, does anybody in there dreams dream they are younger than they are? Also I dont think anybody really feels old until they get up around my age. Even if they are 50 or over. In our dreams I dont ever remember recalling that I ever thought about age. Odd that. Only that I do know that I was always a young woman. I wonder if its that way for men too?
Vee

My age in dreams varies wildly. Last night I dreamed I was in my teens. Often I am my present age. Occasionally I am very young. It doesn't seem to be consistent.

Originally Posted by vee

How about, does anybody in there dreams dream they are younger than they are?

I think I am usually late teen/early twenties in my dreams. The age I always feel when I'm awake is about 30. I think I felt that way from about about age 23. (I'm almost 43 now, really. So I've been 30 for 20 years.)

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

I think I am usually late teen/early twenties in my dreams. The age I always feel when I'm awake is about 30. I think I felt that way from about about age 23. (I'm almost 43 now, really. So I've been 30 for 20 years.)

Arhh that explains it :p

Now you've got me wondering if this isn't a universal phenomenon with women. (Asks wifeling...)

She dreams she's the age she is now.

And she feels like she's 35. (She looks it, too.)