Ask the Older Crowd

**Twoshadows** · 06-01-2007 03:06 AM

This is a really cool thread. There are a lot of things I could reply to, but it will take forever so I will start with a few.

My dream age varies. Often I am a teenager. But other times I am my current age.

Other times, I seem to feel confused in dreams as to exactly how old I am. I remember a dream where I was kissing a teenage guy because I thought I was a teenager myself. Then I started feeling like something was not quite right, until I finally thought, "Whoa, I'm too old for him! How could I have forgotten how old I am??"

That was before I learned about lucidity. Hopefully now something like that would make me become lucid.

I'm not quite the "older crowd", but I feel "older" on this board. The age I feel like when I'm awake is probably early-mid twenties. In reality I'm over 30.

And for the question on time feeling like it is speeding up---that is soooo true. Pj had an interesting explanation. I had never thought about it like that before.

And the question about going back and giving my teen self advice. I would mostly just pat myself on the back and say, "Keep up the good work. It's going to all pay off." I was actually a very nice teenager. I had great parents who were great examples to me and taught me well. Sometimes people would tease me for being too "goody-goody", but most of them later told me that they really respected me for it. So I'm glad I never gave into peer pressure. There seemed to be quite a few people who seemed to make it their goal to get me do something against my morals (swearing, drinking, sex, etc).

I also agree with the advice others gave about not worrying about trying to impress other kids in high school, because it just really doesn't matter. Most will be forgotten the moment you graduate. But those special friends who love you no matter what--hang on to them. They are the ones that matter. The true friends are the ones you don't have too impress. I have two very special high school friends that I have kept in touch with. And I'm so thankful for their friendship.

I'll probably add more to this later.....

**MercurialDream** · 06-01-2007 04:11 AM

Originally Posted by NeAvO

At what age ould you consider to be classed as "The older crowd"?

I think pj is right when he said it depends on the person. I am 32, but I have survived through enough and have had enough life experiences and emotional hurdles to bounce me into the older crowd. Honestly, I did not 'know' myself until I was about 28 or so. That is about when I started to figure out who I was, what I wanted, didn't want and what 'tripped my trigger'. Each year since then has been good and bad, but educational just the same. Each day that passes I learn a bit more about me as a parent and as a woman.

**Amethyst Star** · 06-01-2007 04:26 AM

I have a question. What are some good conversation starters for work? I just started a new job and having just come out of college the only questions I can really think of are "Are you going to school?" or "What are you studying?" or "How old are you?" but I don't really want to ask those. I don't know if people are still in high school or what not.

Anyway, got some topics? I need friends!

**Clairity** · 06-01-2007 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by Amethyst Star

I have a question. What are some good conversation starters for work? I just started a new job and having just come out of college the only questions I can really think of are "Are you going to school?" or "What are you studying?" or "How old are you?" but I don't really want to ask those. I don't know if people are still in high school or what not.

Anyway, got some topics? I need friends!

How about, "How long have you worked here?", What do you do?", "Where do people go for lunch around here?", etc.

Basically anything that will get people to reply with more than a "yes" or "no" response would be good.

As for the question about how old you are in dreams.. I don't think I ever "really" noticed. In fact, I'm not even really sure that I look like "me" in my lucid dreams. The only thing I do know for sure is that I have never been a "child" in my dreams.
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**Amethyst Star** · 06-01-2007 07:08 AM

Well, the problem is that the coffee shop's only been open about a month, so I already know the answer, we're all baristas, and I've lived here about... wow, 14 years.

pj · 06-01-2007 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by Amethyst Star

Well, the problem is that the coffee shop's only been open about a month, so I already know the answer, we're all baristas, and I've lived here about... wow, 14 years.

The art of conversation is getting people to talk about their favorite subject of all - themselves. Show genuine interest, smile warmly, make eye contact, and a simple "how are you" can go from a blunt "ok" to a dissertation about how a person's entire life has culminated in this moment.

A complement is always a great conversation starter. "I've really noticed that customers seem to respond to you so positively! How do you do that?" "How come you can make frothing the milk seem so easy?" (Asking for help and working alongside people is also a fabulous way to get to know them and let them get to know you.)

The thing about any of it is to be real. Don't try just making it up or you'll get caught. The key to knowing people is to be genuinely interested in them.

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