Thread: Tell me: What is the best way to tell a guy I'm not interested???

Long story short, I became friends with this one guy from one of my classes because we had like pretty much everything in common in terms of interests... and now he's making it quite clear that he wants something way more than friendship. I am not attracted to this guy, okay. And I don't want to have to force myself to be attracted to him or something. Now, what is the best way to tell him that I'm not interested?? I don't want to hurt his feelings, and it would be awesome if we could just be friends like I wanted in the first place. Oh, and also, since we have a class together, I have to see him Monday, Wednesday, AND Friday.

Just continue to be his friend, making a line in your mind you don't want him to cross (asking for your number, asking you out, blowing you kisses across the classroom ) When the line is crossed, just let him know you only want to be friends. But at some point you do have to say this, otherwise he'll follow you around like a pet lizard forever.

Originally Posted by skysaw

Just continue to be his friend, making a line in your mind you don't want him to cross (asking for your number, asking you out, blowing you kisses across the classroom ) When the line is crossed, just let him know you only want to be friends. But at some point you do have to say this, otherwise he'll follow you around like a pet lizard forever.

QFT

Yeah, sooner or later, if he can't catch the hint, you're just going to have to say "Look, man. I really enjoy being friends with you, and I really hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but I'm just really not interested in us being anything more than friends."

If he can respect that, good. If he gives you shit about it, give him a judo-chop to the jugular and just walk away.

Hmmm... I would much rather be told than be lead on thinking I had a chance.. There is nothing worse than trying to get with a girl for ages only for her to then turn round and say that she actually never wanted anything in the first place but friendship. Has he actually made any advances or is it just your spider sense tingling making you think he is interested?

Originally Posted by skysaw

Just continue to be his friend, making a line in your mind you don't want him to cross (asking for your number, asking you out, blowing you kisses across the classroom ) When the line is crossed, just let him know you only want to be friends. But at some point you do have to say this, otherwise he'll follow you around like a pet lizard forever.

Hmm, good advice. And "pet lizard."

Originally Posted by Lord Toaster

Get a friend to subtly talk to him and tell him what's what. He doesn't need to know you had a hand in it, and everything will go back to normal... hopefully.

I suppose that's an option. Might take longer to coordinate than I have the patience for tho.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

QFT

Yeah, sooner or later, if he can't catch the hint, you're just going to have to say "Look, man. I really enjoy being friends with you, and I really hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but I'm just really not interested in us being anything more than friends."

If he can respect that, good. If he gives you shit about it, give him a judo-chop to the jugular and just walk away.

Hehe!!

So would a guy get over it pretty quickly if I phrased it that way? The last thing I want to have to deal with is him slouching in class all depressed for the rest of the semester.

Originally Posted by Adam

Has he actually made any advances or is it just your spider sense tingling making you think he is interested?

He tried to hold my hand.

Ah that old chestnut lol

Urm, well... Maybe you need to be straight with him, to prevent any embarrassment on his part in the future?

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

So would a guy get over it pretty quickly if I phrased it that way? The last thing I want to have to deal with is him slouching in class all depressed for the rest of the semester.

It depends on the guy, really. A lot of guys would hate to make your friendship awkward by getting all about it, and would just buck up and move on. Sometimes it's just better to know whether or not things would go further.

On the other hand, some guys would get all overly-dramatic and act like their one prospect in life has been mercilessly stripped from them, and will start dwelling on it (). Which kind of guy do you think he is?

In either case, though, it's better to let him know as soon as possible, so that whatever feelings he does have don't get stronger, in the meantime.

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

The last thing I want to have to deal with is him slouching in class all depressed for the rest of the semester.

Well he definately needs to be told but if he's the kind that would be "dramatic/crushed" about it.. Toaster's advice may be the best way to go (i.e., get a friend to subtly talk to him and tell him what's what. He doesn't need to know you had a hand in it, and everything will go back to normal... hopefully).

You could even have that friend hint that you're seeing someone so that the conversation isn't even about him (and therefore his feelings won't even be involved in the conversation).

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

So would a guy get over it pretty quickly if I phrased it that way? The last thing I want to have to deal with is him slouching in class all depressed for the rest of the semester.

If he doesn't get over it very quick then he's kinda a freak. You guys never had a real relationship right? So he lost nothing except for an opportunity. Which happens frequently.

If he ends up sad and makes it awkward then he doesn't deserve your friendship anyways. That would be pathetic.

Get a friend to subtly talk to him and tell him what's what. He doesn't need to know you had a hand in it, and everything will go back to normal... hopefully.

Originally Posted by skysaw

otherwise he'll follow you around like a pet lizard forever.

pet lizard?