Thread: looking for relationship help...

I'm 16, broke up with the first girlfriend I've had after about 6 months of going out. I still like her, she says she still likes me but wants to be with other people and doesn't like being in a serious relationship. What should I do? We're still friendly, so being just friends would still be an option... should I wait for her to come around, try to get over her, or what?

Who broke up with who here?

Looks like she's pretty determined into not being with you anymore. She's obviously thought about it, and she broke up with you. I don't think there's any 'coming around' anymore.

I'd say you get over her and go meet some other women.

She broke up with me

Originally Posted by CryoDragoon

Looks like she's pretty determined into not being with you anymore. She's obviously thought about it, and she broke up with you. I don't think there's any 'coming around' anymore.

I'd say you get over her and go meet some other women.

Right now, yeah, she doesn't want to be with me and I know that, but she says that in the future she thinks that she will want to be, I've asked her a few times and thats stayed consistent. Is it worth waiting for the hope that we can get back together or should I just suck it up and move on?

I guess a little more information is needed. She hasn't had a relationship over 6 months in a long time, she breaks up with all the boyfriends she has after around that much time because she gets pissed at them for seemingly no reason. She says she's connected more with me than anyone before, and I chose to believe her, so I do think that there is a chance of her coming around sometime, I just don't know if it's worth waiting. Also, she's the first person I've really gotten close to, so getting over her will probably be difficult, I wouldn't know though.

Originally Posted by queue

She broke up with me



Right now, yeah, she doesn't want to be with me and I know that, but she says that in the future she thinks that she will want to be, I've asked her a few times and thats stayed consistent. Is it worth waiting for the hope that we can get back together or should I just suck it up and move on?

I guess a little more information is needed. She hasn't had a relationship over 6 months in a long time, she breaks up with all the boyfriends she has after around that much time because she gets pissed at them for seemingly no reason. She says she's connected more with me than anyone before, and I chose to believe her, so I do think that there is a chance of her coming around sometime, I just don't know if it's worth waiting. Also, she's the first person I've really gotten close to, so getting over her will probably be difficult, I wouldn't know though.

You need to tell her that you can respect how she feels, but you're not about to wait around for her. Don't be rude about it, just be honest. There is no reason why you should be made to sit on the bench until she decides to "come around." You have to have more respect for yourself than that. If she would rather have you sit on the sidelines while she does whatever with whomever, then she's not worth the heartache, because she obviously doesn't have the same sort of respect for you.

Again, it's nothing to lose a friendship over, if it can be helped, but let her know that you're not going to just sit around and wait until she decides she's ready to be with you. Until that time, you are free to do what you want, and if another girl comes along that you fall into...oh well.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

You need to tell her that you can respect how she feels, but you're not about to wait around for her. Don't be rude about it, just be honest. There is no reason why you should be made to sit on the bench until she decides to "come around." You have to have more respect for yourself than that. If she would rather have you sit on the sidelines while she does whatever with whomever, then she's not worth the heartache, because she obviously doesn't have the same sort of respect for you.

Again, it's nothing to lose a friendship over, if it can be helped, but let her know that you're not going to just sit around and wait until she decides she's ready to be with you. Until that time, you are free to do what you want, and if another girl comes along that you fall into...oh well.

Well she's not telling me to wait, she's actually telling me to move on and encouraging me to see other people... but I don't want to. If it's not working out right now should I just give up on this relationship? Should I be trying to move on or should I wait and see what happens? There is a chance that we will get back together, I just don't know when and if it will be worth waiting for.

EDIT: And if another girl comes along that I feel strongly for, I do plan on making something of it.

Originally Posted by queue

Well she's not telling me to wait, she's actually telling me to move on and encouraging me to see other people... but I don't want to. If it's not working out right now should I just give up on this relationship? Should I be trying to move on or should I wait and see what happens? There is a chance that we will get back together, I just don't know when and if it will be worth waiting for.

EDIT: And if another girl comes along that I feel strongly for, I do plan on making something of it.

Well, ultimately, that's going to be up to you. If you are looking for a relationship, go out and play the field a bit. See what/who you can make something happen with. If you're not really looking for a relationship at the moment (besides one with the girl you're interested in), then there's nothing wrong with sitting around and waiting for a bit, to see where things go. Just don't put too much weight on holding out for her, because there is a very good chance (judging from what you've said) that she's just plain not interested, and nothing will come of it.

So...if you're fine with waiting, wait for her, but don't hold your expectations too high. In my opinion, you should move on. If you remain friends with her, and it's meant to be, then it will work itself out in the end. As far as right now, though, it doesn't look like you should put too much stock into getting back with her.