And how to do it. I have a clear vision of the person I want to be, and am on the precipice of starting down that path. I'm 16 and trying to nail down those important questions like the meaning of life and my role in it, ethics and "the point." I'm done with being this dumb nobody and ready to be the person I have always been inside. I think I have always come off apathetic or boring because I listened to to those idiots all my life telling me to be quiet. I'm probably one of the most enthusiastic people in the entire state for fuck's sake. (excuse my language)

What the hell am I doing literally forcing myself to ACT like I don't care about the movie I just saw instead of telling people what I thought? I mean, that was the question, right? So why do I reprocess my thoughts into this garbage "whatever" answer? I literally reduce myself to my idea of what other people would be more comfortable with. The result? I am just the kid who sits in the corner in class and thinks about better things. Better times to come, where I am SOMEBODY and people CARE. (Or don't care, and I can deal with it) I have no idea who made me feel like I have this "problem" like some cone on my head that makes me fail at everything, but I would seriously like to punch that invisible person in the face right now. Where in the hell did I get an inferiority complex, of all things? I am the proudest person I know! I slowly started realizing who I was in relation to what I should be but never put two and two together and realized what I was is akin to being a mute handicap in a wheelchair on emotional life support with an existential crisis? One kind or harsh word from anybody could change my mood for a week. What the hell kind of problem do I have if that is the case? I'm going to stop playing the passive part for once and be who I am.

I am so ready to start my life, but have no idea where to start. How do you change yourself? Comments or questions welcome. Thanks in advance for the feedback.

(By the way, sorry I haven't yet contributed to the LD section, but I had a sudden urge to get this off my chest)