Thread: Suicide and what happens NEXT (!!!).

Originally Posted by debrajane

The entity who had been Sir Algernon was looking down in facination at all this.

He felt very strange about it, for a moment he could not understand what had happened, but some force kept him pinned to the ceiling upside down, the living Algernon gazed down into the dead, glazed, bloody eyes of the dead Algernon.

He rested upside down against the ceiling in rapt attention, spellbound at the strange experience. His attention was rivited at the words of Mr Harris.

'Yes, poor Sir Algernon was a subaltern in the Boer War. He fourght very nobly against the Boers and he was badly wounded.

Unfortunately he was wounded in a most delicate place which I cannot describe more adequately in front of the ladies present, and increasingly of late his inability to - perform has led to bouts of depression, and on numerous occasions we and others have heard him threaten that life without his necessities was not worth living, and he threatened to end it all.'

Dear Reader

I am continuing from post 18 of this thread called Suicide and what happens NEXT

Sergent Murdock moved ponderously up the stairs and went into the bathroom. With a cloth he picked up the razor and put it aside. Then he carried out an inspection to see if anything else of use as evidence could be found.

The spirit of Sir Algernon, glued to the ceiling, looked down in utter facination.

Then

for some reason Sergent Murdock turned his eyes to the ceiling, imitted a below of fright, and fell down with a honk that cracked the toilet seat. With that the spirit of Sir Algernon vanished, and he himself lost consciousness, being aware of only a strange humming, a swirling, and clouds of rolling blackness like the smoke from a parafin reading lamp which had been turned too high and left unattended in a room.

Page 13

And so darkness fell upon him, and the spirit of Sir Algernon took no further interest in the proceedings at least for the time being.

Algernon Reginald St. Clair de Bonkers stired uneasily in what seemed to be a deeply drugged sleep. Strange thoughts swarmed across his half-submerged consciousness. There came bursts of heavenly music followed by wild outpourings of hellish sound.

Algernon stirred fretfully, and in one period of greater consciousness he stirred and found to his astonishment that his movements were sluggish, torpid, as though he were immersed in a gooey mess.

Algernon Reginald St. Clair de Bonkers woke up with a start and tried to sit erect but found his movements constricted, he could only move in slow motion.

Panic struck and he tried to flail about in his anguish but found his movements were slow, turgid, and it calmed him down quite a lot.

He felt for his eyes to see if they were open or shut because he could see no light. It did not matter if his eyes were open or shut, there was no sensation of light.

He put his hands down to feel the texture of the bed, but then he shrieked in shock because there was no bed beneath him, he was suspended - as he himself put it - 'like a fish stuck in syrup in a fish tank'.

For a time he feebly flailed with his arms as does a swimmer, trying to push against something so he would have the satisfaction of getting somewhere. But as hard as he pushed with his wide-spread hands and arms and thrusting feet, so did 'something' hold him back.

To his astonishment all his efforts failed to make him breathless, failed to make him tired,

so,

having seen the uselessness of an attempt at physical effort, he just lay still and thought.

'Where am I?' he thought back.

'Oh yes, I remember, I decided to kill myself,

'Oh yes, I remember, I decided to kill myself, I decided it was useless going on as I had been going on, bereft of female society because of the nature of my disability.

How unfortunate it was', he muttered to himself, 'that the filthy Boers should have shot me THERE'.

For some moments he lay there thinking of the past,

thinking of the bearded Boar who had raised his rifle and deliberatly, quite deliberately, aimed at him not with a view to killing him, but with the definate objective of what must politely be termed robbing him of his manhood.

He thought of the 'dear Vicar' who had recommended Algernon's house as a safe refuge for servant girls who had to earn a living.

He thought too of his father who had said while the young man was still a school boy.

'Well, Algernon, m'lad, you have to get to learn the facts of life, you have to practice on some of the servant girls we have here, you'll find them quite usefull to play with but be sure you do not take things too seriously. These lower classes are there for our convenience, aren't they?'

'Yes,' he thought, 'even the housekeeper had smiled a peculiar little smile when a particularly comely young maid servent was engaged.' The housekeeper said,

"You'll be quite safe here, dear, the master won't bother you at all, he's like one of those horses in the field, you know, they've been doctored. Yes, you'll ne quite safe here,"

and the housekeeper had turned away with a sly little chuckle.

Algernon reviewed his life in some detail.

Today (10th of Sept) is World Suicide Prevention Day

World Suicide Prevention Day

Nearly 3,000 people on average commit suicide daily, according to WHO (World Health Oranisation).

For every person who completes a suicide, 20 or more may attempt to end their lives.

About one million people die by suicide each year.

Suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death which is influenced by psycho-social, cultural and environmental risk factors that can be prevented through worldwide responses that address these main risk factors. There is strong evidence indicating that adequate prevention can reduce suicide rates.

World Suicide Prevention Day began on 10-Sept-2003

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Algernon reviewed his life in some detail. The shattering impact of the bullet and how he had doubled up and vomited in anguish. Still in his ears he could hear the raucous laughter of the old Boer farmer as he said,

"No more gels for you, m'lad, we'll stop you from continuing the family name. Now you'll be like them there eunuchs we used to hear about."

Algernon felt himself grow hot all over with the shame of it, and it reminded him of the long-term plan he had made, a plan to commit suicide following the decision that he could not go on living under such strange conditions.

He found it quite intolerable when the Vicar called upon him and made oblique references to his ailment, and said how glad he would be to have such a safe young man help with the Woman's meetings and the Sunday afternoon sewing sessions and all that sort of thing because - the Vicar said -

"We cannot be to careful, can we? We must not impugn the good name of our Church, must we?"

And

then there was the doctor, Dr. Mortimer Davis who used to ride up of an evening on his old horse Wellington. Dr. Davis would sit down in the study and together they would have a comfortable glass of wine, but the comfort was always ruined when the doctor would say,

"Well, Sir Algernon, I think I should examine you, we have to make sure you do not develop feminine characteristics because unless we exercise the most extreme supervision you may find that your facial hair will fall out and you will develop-ahem - breasts.

One of the things for which we must be most observant is for any change in the timbre of your voice because now that you have lost certain glands the chemistry of your body has changed"

The doctor looked at him most quizzically to see how he was taking it, and then said,

"Well now, I think I could do with another glass of wine, you have most excellent wine here, your dear father was a great connoisseur of the luxuries of life especially with the distaff side of the luxuries, he, he, he!"

Page 14SIZE]

Poor Algernon had all that he could take when one day he heard the butler talking to the housekeeper,

"A terrible thing, you know, how it happened to Sir Algernon, such a lively virile young man, such a credit to his class. I know well how, before you came here and before he went to the war, he used to ride to hounds and made a very favourable impression on the matrons of the district. They were always inviting Sir Algernon to parties, they always looked upon him as a most eligible young and a very desirable suitor for a daughter who had just come out. But now - well, the mothers of the district look upon him with commiseration. But at least they know he doesn't need a chaperone when he goes out with their daughters. A very safe young man, a very safe young man indeed."

"Yes," thought Algernon, "A very safe young man indeed. I wonder what the would have done in my place, lying there on the battlefield bleeding with my uniform breeches soaked in red, and then the surgeon coming along in the field and cutting off my clothing and with a sharp knife just amputating the tattered remnants of what made me different from a woman. Oh! The agony of it.

Nowerdays there is this thing they call chloroform which is stated to relieve pain, to give one surcease from the agony of operations, but on the field, no, nothing but a slashing knife and the bullet between ones teeth so one can bite down on the bullet and stop oneself from screaming.

And the shame of it, the same of being deprived - THERE.

The sight of one's fellow subalterns looking embarrassed and, at the same time, uttering salacious stories behind one's back."

[SIZE="4"
]So he had seen himself dead.

He knew he was dead because he knew he had killed himself, and then he had looked from the ceiling and seen himself on the floor with rapidly gazing eyes. He lay there in the darkness, in the turgid darkness, and thought and thought and thought.

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Death?

What WAS death?

Was there anything after death?

He and his fellow subalterns and other officers in the Mess had often debated the subject. The Padre had tried to explain about the life immortal, about going to Heaven, and one dashing Hussar, a major had said,

"Oh no, Padre, I am sure it's absolutely wrong. When one is dead one is dead and that's all there is to it. If I go and kill a Boer are you telling me that he'll go straight to Heaven or the other place?

If I kill him with a bullet through his heart and I am standing there with my foot on his chest, I can tell you that he's very much under me, dead, dead as a stuffed pig.

When we're dead we're dead and there's nothing more to it."

He thought again of all the arguments for life after death.

He wondered why anyone could say there was life after death.

"If you kill a man - well, he's dead and that's all there is to it.

If there was a soul then you'd see something leave the body at death wouldn't you? "

Algernon lay there and pondered the whole matter, wondering what had happened, where was he?

And then he had a terrible thought ...

Perhaps it was all a nightmare

Perhaps he had had a brainstorm and was confined in an asylum for the mad.

Carefully he felt about him to see if there any restraining straps.

But no, he was floating, that's all there was to it, he was floating like a fish in water.

So he returned to wonder what it was, he was.

"Death? Am I dead? Then if I am dead where am I, what am I doing in this strange condition floating idly?"

Words of the Padre came back to him:

"When you leave your body an angel will be there to great you and to guide you. You will be judged by God himself, and then you will have whatever punishment God himself decrees."

Algernon wondered about that whole matter.

"If God was a kind God why did a person have to be punished as soon as he was dead? And if he were dead how could a punishment affect him? He was here now" he thought, "lying quietly, no particular pain, no particular joy, just lying there quietly."

At that moment Algernon started with fear.

Something had brushed by him. It was like having a hand put inside one's skull. He got an impression, not a voice, but an impression, a sensation that someone was thinking at him, "Peace, be still, listen."

For a few moments Algernon flailed away, trying to run. This was too mysterious, this was too unsettling, but he was stuck there. And so once again he had the impression, "Peace, be still, and be freed from this."

Algernon thought to himself, "I am an officer and gentleman, I must not panic, I must be an example to my men." So, confused though he was, he composed himself and let tranquility and peace enter within him.

ALGERNON suddenly shuddered with shock. Panic took hold of him. For a moment he thought that his brain was going to burst out of his skull.

About him the blackness grew even blacker.

Although he could not see in the total darkness he could inexplicably FEEL turgid clouds of blacker than blackness swirling around, enveloping him.

Through the darkness he seemed to see a brilliant ray of light, pencil-thin, reaching out to him, and touching him and along with the pencil ray of light came the impression "Peace, peace, be still and we will talk with you."[/COLOR]

By superhuman efforts Algernon got a grip on his panic. Gradually he calmed down and once again rested more or less placidly awaiting developments. They were swift in comming:

We are willing to help you - we are very anxious to help you but you will not let us."

Algernon rolled the thought around in his brain. "You will not let us," he thought, "but I haven't said a word to them, how can they say that I won't let them help me? I don't know who they are, I don't know what they are going to do, I don't even know where I am.

[COLOR="#a0522d"] If this is death," he thought, "Well, what is it?

Negation?
Nothingness?

Am I am to ne condemned for eternity to live in darkness darkness like this?

But even that," he thought, poses a problem.

Live? Well, do I live?"

Thoughts swirled about him and his brain was in turmoil.

Teachings of his early youth came to him:

"There is no death - I am the Resurrection - In my Father's house there are many mansions, I go to prepare a place for you - If you behave you will go to Heaven - if you misnehave you will go to Hell - Only Christians have a chance for Heaven"

So many contradictory statments, so much misunderstanding, so much of the blind teaching the blind. The priests and the Sunday School teachers, people blind themselves trying to teach others who they thought were even blinder.

"Hell?" he thought.

"What IS Hell? What is Heaven? IS there Heaven?

A strong thought broke in on his cogitations:

"We are willing to help you if you will first accept the premise that you are alive and that there is life after death.

We are willing to help you if you are prepared unreservedly to believe in us and believe in that which we can teach you."

> Suicide and what happens NEXT

Since our immune system has stopped, our body starts decomposing almost immediately, but imperceptibly to the naked eye.

Originally Posted by Mindraker

>
Suicide and what happens NEXT

Since our immune system has stopped, our body starts decomposing almost immediately, but imperceptibly to the naked eye.

Algernon's brain railed at the thought.

What was this rubbish about accepting help?

What was this stupid nonsense about believing? What COULD he believe? If he was to believe then it implied there was a doubt.

He wanted facts not beliefs.

The facts were that he had died at his own hand, and the second fact was that he had seen his dead body, and the third fact was that he was now

in total blackness apparantly immersed in some sticky, turgid substance which prevented much movement.

And then stupid people from he knew not where were sending thoughts into his head saying that he should believe.

Well - WHAT should he believe?

"You are in the next stage after death," the voice, or thought, or impression, or whatever it was, said to him.

"You have been misinformed, mistaught and misled upon the Earth, and if you want to come out of your self-imposed prison then we will get you out."

Algernon rested quietly and thought over the matter, and then he thought back.

"Well," he thought strongly,

"If you want me to believe, first of all you should tell me what is happening to me. You say I am in the first stage after death, but I thought death was the end of everything"

"Precisely!"

broke in the thought or the voice very strongly.

"...I thought death was the end of everything".

"Precisely!" broke in the thought or the voice very strongly.

"Precisely! You are surrounded by the black clouds of doubt, by the black clouds of unreason. You are surrounded by the blackness of ignorance, and this isolation is self-made, self-imposed and can only be self-destroyed."

Algernon did not like that a bit.

It seemed to be blaming him for everything.

Then he said:

"But I have no reason to believe, I can only go by what I have been taught. I have been taught various things in churches, and while a mere boy I was taught by Sunday School teachers and by a Governess, and now do you think I can scrap all that just because some unknown, unidentified impression comes to mind? DO something to show me that there is something beyond this blackness."

Suddenly a break appeared in the darkness. Suddenly the blackness rolled aside like curtains on a stage rolling aside that the actors could make their debut. Algernon was almost struck senseless by the influx of bright light and the wonderous vibrations in the atmosphere.

He almost screamed in the ecstasy of the moment, and then - doubt, and with the doubt came the rolling in of the blackness again until once more he was engulfed in turgid darkness.

Doubt, panic, self recrimination, railing against the teaching of the world.

He began to doubt his sanity.

How could things like this be possible? He was certain by now that he was insane, certain that he was suffering hallucinations.

His mind went back to that very potent Brazilian plant which he had injested {earlier failed suicide attempt}; supposing there had been side-effects, supposing he was suffering from long-delayed hallucinations.

He had seen his dead body on the floot- but had he? How could he see himself if he were dead?

He thought of looking down from the ceiling, he thought of the bald spot on the top of the butler's head. Well, if it were true why had he not noticed that bald spot before?

If it were true why had he not noticed that the housekeeper obviously wore a wig?

He pondered on the problem and wavered between the thought that life after death was [b] possible[/b[ to the thought that he was undeniably insane.

"We will leave you to come to your own decision because the Law is that no person may be helped unless that person is willing to recieve help, say so and we will come.

And, remember, there is no reason whatever for you to continue this quite self-imposed isolation. This blackness is a figment of your imagination."