When my coworkers asked I just told them what happened. Besides trying to gouge out my third eye, another theory is that I have a maggots nest or something in my frontal lobe that my subconscious is trying to tell me about.
I think an almost universal limitation of gurus is each one has a special insight, but believes it is the only insight that matters in general. I think there generally isn't a clear line between that kind of arrogance and 'mal intent'.
Yes I agree, there's something a bit peculiar about how we model everything. We have the ability to directly contact things with our minds, and yet, we mostly use that contact to construct a personal caricature of everything which we carry around in our heads.
You're saying you felt I'm a woman? I experience myself as being male, or genderless, or as a woman wearing a man, depending on what I'm considering. I experience other people that way also. When I express myself, I put on a kind of ponderously analytical persona that I'm not entirely comfortable with. If I attempt to communicate in the more intuitive, metaphorical manner I would otherwise express, to most people it seems like I'm neurotic, or making stuff up without any sound basis. Also, reason has its place and value, which I appreciate, even though in a sense I don't start from there.
I think it isn't possible to understand another person without a fair amount of mind reading. The meaning really isn't in the words for the most part. But when the other person's thoughts are too different from one's own, and they don't provide enough signs to help, it can seem like there's no real content there at all. To me an important part of communication is to assume the other person has something to say. Then it becomes possible to understand something which is even a bit beyond what the person intended, and both people grow.
A scientist who disparages faith nevertheless is capable of putting enough faith in a hypothesis to follow through on it and find out if its true or not.
Even if a religious person puts their faith in a falsehood, they're still doing a kind of contrapositive proof with their life. A difficulty in the meantime of course is that philosophical dogmas tend to twist around evidence in ways that reinforce rather than correct the error. For example, my guru is such a positive light in the world that Satan works extra hard to defeat him, which accounts for all the especially terrible temptations he sometimes yields to, and all the slanderous things that his enemies say about him.
Thinking about these chakras more, I'm struck by how out of balance they are in some regards in relation to each other. It seems like a useful exercise.
My intuition suggests that the 'trying to scratch out my third eye' interpretation is true, but I don't know if that intuition is right or not. In the past, I have at times felt horrified by events that it seems I can feel are going to happen to people which have not found a way to happen yet, and I shrink away from the part of myself that feels that. Now I don't have premonitions like I did in the past, and I don't feel that so much, but I guess it is still there in some form.
To me, one of the beautiful things about life is how we can't forever hide from ourselves. We run, but the truth catches up eventually. In one view, this is damnation, but its also redemption, its what keeps us from deluding and losing ourselves forever. I'm feeling really good about this today, how trustworthy it is, and how nice it is to have something that can be trusted like that, and the devotion and gratitude this inspires.
Thanks for your thoughts.
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