Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

After messing around with magnets, and having a mixed drink, I'm driving down the street with my step brother. There's no one on the road, and we're cruising along at around 40 mph. We both spot something coming right at us up ahead in the road. It's moving fast. I slow down in case it hits us. Bigger than our car, it is a massive wolf. The head of which is a good 5 ft long, and really really big. He bares his fangs at us, and turns his head as he runs past us along the road in the opposite lane.

Feeling very vulnerable, even in the car, the road gets too snowy to drive on, so I have to get out and walk if I want to make it home. It also gets really steep. Apparently, I'm crossing the continental divide over the Rocky Mountains to get to some town in Colorado. But man is this steep, and with snow up to my chest, it's really hard to push through it. I see a few more of these beastly wolves all around me, just off the side of the road, watching me slowly make my way up the road. I get the feeling that they are guiding me, and probably won't eat me. Just probably though, so I keep my eyes on them. Luckily, I have a towel with me, so I use it to lay on, pushing the snow down to make it easier to wade through.

Since this might take me a while, I put on my hat and mittens that were in my pockets this whole time. The wolves watch me to do. I nearly lose sight of the road with so much snow, but see a massive wolf laying down in the snow ahead of me, so I walk toward it. Or to my death, but it's not like I can out run them anyway. To my left I see a few snow mobiles and four wheelers abandoned in the snow, just lightly dusted with fresh snowfall, but still with the keys in the ignition. Several of them are still running.

I think about stealing one, but decide against it. I bet whoever owns them would be pissed to come back and find it gone. So I walk past them. The road disappears, and I am looking over a 300 ft cliff. But in actuality, I'm just standing on some snow that is packed into the branches of a huge tree with snowmobiles stuck in it. Before I get the chance to even think about how this situation might have happened, unusual as it is, I feel the snow start to give way. I run toward the tree and grab onto the trunk as the snow and machines fall to the ground far below. I hear the tree start to crack apart too, so I grab a falling branch and swing down on it to the midway point of the tree. I feel incredibly lucky to have survived that, and now bear hug the trunk to slow my decent as I slide straight down the icy tree.

Landing hard in the snow, the tree starts to tip over toward me. WTF! I run super fast and dodge it while also noticing some people on the opposite side. I decide to see if they need any help, but I'm going really fast the opposite direction, so I drag my feet stopping like a hockey player, just with a 40 ft slide. Just in time though. As I stop, I notice a fence around the whole area where the tree fell, on the outside of which are a lot of those massive wolves. Just a whole lot more menacing and vicious looking than before. Growling, barking, and drooling, they give me the deathliest stares I've ever gotten from an animal. I bet if I had crossed that fence I would've been killed. Luckily there is a small town here that has some sort of magical wolf boundary or truce. Seems like a small town from Alaska.

Standing in the street with a bunch of friends, we are all going to a skate park of sorts, but it is far away. They suggest I levitate to make the trip easier. I'm jump up in the air, and lay horizontally, levitating above the ground and slowly moving forwards through the air. I ask them how to go faster because I could walk this fast normally. One of my friends shows me that I can bang my fists together while holding them out in front of me to go faster. It works, but I only go a little faster. I keep doing it, and keep increasing speed, but only slightly.

A large crowd of people are walking in the street, and start tugging on me as I float past them. I think maybe they're jealous, so I stop levitating, and walk with them so they don't feel bad. They settle down when I do this, and we all walk together toward the skate park.

When we get there, it turns into a snow/ice version of a skate park, and I am on a snowboard. People look at me, expecting some fancy tricks. I realize I'm dreaming, and this seems fun, so I drop into a big half pipe type thing on my snow board.

Suddenly, the dream is in 3rd person, as I watch myself doing tricks. But physically, I feel myself doing all of it with first person tactile sensations. I manage to do lots of spins and flips in this way, and people are happy with the performance. I also retain a physical sense of observing all this from about 30 feet away, standing on the packed snow. I go full tilt with spinning super fast, and doing every twist and rotation physically possible.

Now the audience becomes loads of Buddhist monks and nuns, who all look at me at once and tell me it would be a good time to wake up now. I recognize that it's up to me, but I trust them, so I concentrate my mind on waking up. I feel a peaceful tingling, kind of dull and soft, as the dream fades back into my subtle mind, and my waking sense of my body in the dark room gradually exists again in my awareness.

About 30 seconds later, I get out of bed, and walk over to the desk to check the time on my phone. As soon as I pick up my phone, the alarm starts to go off, and I silence it before it wakes my room mates :-)

I am sitting alone in a big apartment complex, listening to the rain pitter patter on the roof. It's night time, and I'm not sure what to do really. I faintly hear a knocking outside, but it's not at my door. I consider ignoring it, but decide to see who it is, since it is raining outside, and someone might need some help.

I go outside, and around the building to the front side of it about 100 ft around the corner and see that it was my spiritual guide knocking at the door. I got the impression he was trying to offer me a ride. He is now just about at his car, and about to drive away. I run up to him before he leaves, and tell him that I'd like a ride.

Once I get in the car, my good friend from school is now the driver, and it is day time. We're on a snowy mountain road, driving faster than I would drive given the conditions. There is a narrow band of dry road that is totally safe, but on each side is a slippery mix of snow and ice. My friend turns a corner too sharply, dipping into the slippery area, and the car spins off the road. Now air born, we are falling toward an icy river that looks really unpleasant. I see a snow bank just below, and think how nice it would be if we landed there instead.

We do! The front of the car sinks deep into the snow bank, far enough that we have to use the rear doors to get out. As soon as we get out and climb away a little, the snow gives way, and the car falls into the icy water below. As soon as it splashes in, I see my spiritual guide again next to me, with his lower robes all wet like he had been playing in the water just now.

I am playing Dwarf Fortress, and mix with the game a little as I micro-manage the Dwarves to build an epic tower defense style entrance to their underground Fortress. It should be impenetrable! But I have to meet my friend A for coffee before I go to work.

I drive to the coffee shop on the North end of town in a white pickup truck, keenly aware that I don't have much time before I have to go to work, in the opposite part of town. I don't see her as I arrive, so I park in one of the open spaces and get out. There are little Dwarves around me, and a large wooden post next to the truck. I tie the truck to it with a rope as the Dwarves climb over the rope, the post, and the truck. Seems normal. Then the truck next to mind pulls away, and gets stuck on something, pivots substantially, and puts a big dent in the side of my truck.

Ignoring the dent, I still don't see any sign of my friend, so I go into the coffee shop. Immediately, some people ask me to participate in a study. I recognize most of them from when I was involved in the same study earlier. I was an auditor, checking in on their work, and never found out exactly what it was they were doing. Out of curiosity, I agree to participate. I thought I saw needle marks on some of the other participants, even though no needles were involved, so it seems like they have something to hide.

Assuring me that they just need to do a couple blood tests, a strong guy literally picks me up off the ground by my left arm and carries me down the hall. I would've walked, so I let him carry me. Then I suspect that perhaps the reason for this treatment is because what they are going to do to me should make me want to run away. I struggle to break free, but he is ridiculously strong. All my struggling has puffed out my arm veins. He stabs a big needle into my main bicep vein, and quickly draws blood out of me. I conclude that this all was just a very efficient method to get blood samples, and I relax.

I overhear a few scientists talking about one girl who they gave an injection to earlier. She has turned into some sort of monster, and is very dangerous. They have her barricaded in one of the lower levels of this building, about two floors below us. They then tell me that as part of this study, I must feed her, and they hand me a brown tray with a few unappealing plates of food on it. Apparently, she has killed all the guards, and everyone else who has gone near her. Great...

Making my way down to her floor, through some sturdy doors, and down some big stairways, I see her at the end of an abandoned hallway. Several open rooms are on either side of the hall, with no one in them. Some doors open, some closed. Blood, debris, and trash is strewn all over the floor and walls. It looks like a massacre. ...Quietly, I walk up to her from behind as she is hunched over a dead guy wearing a white lab coat. It looks like she's eating his flesh. I poke her gently in the back with the food tray to get her attention. With twitchy reflexes, she turns to face me abruptly, her cheeks and mouth covered in blood and weird black slime. Letting out a low growl, she begins to turn her body to face me as well as if she's getting ready to pounce like a cat. Basically, she's one of those scary fast zombies now...

Dropping the tray at her feet, I turn and run as hard as I can down the hall back the way I came. I hear her approach, but don't dare look back as even the slightest hesitation might be the edge she needs to catch me. I dart to my right into an open room, and close the door, locking it faster than I thought possible. A sturdy wooden door, with a very narrow window, I feel safe now.

Smashing the door right through the frame, she jumps into the room after me. I back away, and jump over a bed, putting it between her and I. She slowly walks up toward me, and climbs onto the bed. Laying down on her side facing me, she begins to speak normally. She tells me of how she no longer needs to have sex to reproduce. Having been discouraged by many males' eagerness to have sex, and concerned about that, she gave it up in favor of killing people to reproduce instead. Somehow it works for her. Almost on queue, I jizz in my pants. Yes, just like that SNL skit... "Well, now I especially am in the position to get killed by her!" I think, as I try to stay on my feet.

I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her, and am teleported to a river in the middle of the night. I am positioned precariously on a steep snow bank, that is rapidly being dissolved into this raging river. I try to climb out, but the snow is too wet and slides down the bank, nearly taking me into the river with it. It all turns to slush around me.

With a few steps, I leap across the 10 ft river, onto the opposite snow bank that looks like its in better shape, and try to climb out of that side. The top of this one is crusty snow, and large chunks of it break off, falling over my head as I try not to fall with them into the frigid rapids right behind me. However, I have no other choice but to try, so I make another leap for the edge, only to have it break away, sending me falling backwards into the river.

Now looking down on the river from up in the sky, I see that I have died, and my body is being carried by the currents downstream. I watch as it floats along. Then it is carried to a Dwarven Fortress that is harnessing the water for some sort of industry. They fish my body out of the water and pass it to the medics to see if they can revive me. I watch as they try, and then conclude that I have died.

I re-materialize in front of the coffee shop again, having just parked the truck. This time there is a parrot on the post that I have tied the truck to. The parrot criticizes me on many levels. The parrot seems to have been emboldened by being let out of its cage. I let it criticize me, not really caring, because soon I must deal with the demon girl. I warn the parrot of this girl, and how the parrot himself should be careful - as she is very quick. I perceive images in my mind of the girl transforming into her demon form after being a cat, then a demon cat, in various stages of development.

I realize that time is not linear as we normally perceive it, and get in the truck to drive to work.

Spoiler for Random Intro:

Wandering through gated back yards, jumping over fences, and looking for a bathroom, I find a downstairs apartment with the door wide open. I go inside, and shake the snow off my jacket before going any further and dripping it on the floor. But I shook it right into someone's shoes... That doesn't look so nice, so I leave, abandoning my search for the bathroom. There are an assortment of little beings that are all around me now, and no longer any snow on the ground. A few small children, two cats, and a goat are all in a circle on some green grass. They all appear to be trapped, and in danger if they stay inside this backyard maze of fences. I carry all of them over a fence except one cat. This cat is huge! I try to coax it to walk over on its own, but it is also a lazy cat. So, I pick it up, weighing well over 100 lbs, and carry it over the fence. There is another small animal, maybe a sheep, that also wants to escape. I lift the fence in the air slightly, and crawl underneath, motioning for the sheep to follow. It does, and pushes me out of the way, crawling through swiftly.

On the other side of the fence, I am face to face with a giant bat. At least I think it's a bat. Looking right at me, drooling profusely, a nasty looking orange drool. It has small flexible fangs. It also has a very powerful venom. Not very good. Biting onto my arm, I feel that none of the fangs pierces my flesh, but I don't want to take any chances, so I wrestle it away, pushing its porcelain smooth beak away. Now holding it back by the beak, we stare at each other, both still pushing at the other. The beak is so smooth, I actually rather enjoy touching it. Kind of cold to the touch as well, and very colorful with swirls of reds, browns, and oranges all throughout the beak.



The animal's owner comes by, and pulls him back by the shoulders. She tells me, "He's just hungry, sorry about that" Being sort of like a bat, I assume he eats bugs, so I tell them to hang on for a bit, while I find some food for him inside my house. There are no bugs... I go downstairs and ask my room mate if he has any bugs.

"Of course I do buddy, here ya go." and he hands me a plastic bin. 'Great! Now I can feed this thing.' I dash upstairs, but looking inside the bin I just see a loaded gun, some batteries, loose change, a few lint balls, and random other odds and ends. I take all the bullets out of the gun and toss them separately into the bin, then ditch the gun as well. 'There's gotta be bugs around here somewhere'

I go outside, and find a large group of rather juicy looking bugs on the window sill. They all look dead, but still meaty. I pick one up by the wings, a large green bug, and it starts to wiggle around a bit. 'Not quite dead yet!' so I put it back down on the window's edge. The rest of the bugs all have rigor mortis, so I know they are dead. I pile them all into my left hand and go back over to the bat creature. Somewhat human, but definitely more animal than person. I hold out my hand and he ravenously slurps them into his beak and chews them for a bit before swallowing them, followed by more drool around the edges of his beak. Quite gross.

Seeing where I got the bugs from, he walks over and looks for more. Seeing the one I left behind because it was still alive, he goes in to eat it. I pray that the bug either is spared death, or dies well, whatever is meant to be... To my surprise, the previously lifeless but twitching bug now flies off, just out of reach of the bat creature, then shoots rapidly into the sky at what I assume is maximum bug speed.

I help the bat-man (more bat than man) find more dead bugs to eat. Mostly dead moths that are stuck to loose boards on the side of the house, or in abandoned spider webs. The creature eats more of the wood than the bugs, just chewing on it, as he holds it like an ear of corn.

Walking back to the front yard, his friend/caretaker person tells him it costs too much to feed him and he has to make some money himself if this is going to work. Bat-guy sits down on a bench looking rather dejected, as he stares down at his feet with his hands in his lap. I go up to him, pat him on the back and encourage him, "You'll be able to do something to make money, don't worry."

He looks up to me as if saying, "Like what?" but with just his eyes.

I answer, "You could always give massages to people" and we both start laughing. I see a smile return to his beak and hope in his eyes. "I didn't know you could understand me" I say, amidst more laughter, just thinking about this bat-guy giving people massages... He nods understandingly.

Driving around town to post flyers at different shops, I realize that it is a lot easier with a car than on a bicycle. I notice the front windshield is cracked all the way down, and should be fixed, but I am prioritizing fixing the engine if anything on this old clunker car. I look at the different shops around, a liquor store, a liquor accessory store, and a sandwich shop that's not quite opened yet. I go in the sandwich shop and get the owner's attention. Asking about leaving some there, he says I can leave just 1. So I do just that, and walk out the door. All the other shops are closed because it's too early in the morning.

Driving down the road with my friend, it's very snowy now. I tell her I want to go somewhere, but don't tell her where. I get stuck at the bottom of a hill in front of the house I grew up in. In 3rd gear, the tires just spin. I downshift to 2nd, drop the RPMs a bit, and do better, but still not enough traction. A couple cars drive past us easily.

We get out of the car and climb up the side of the road, but it is also too slippery to walk. We just fall and slide back down. I try again, and am more gentle with my motions, and stick my fingers into the snow for more of a hold, and climb up successfully. I point out some bushes under the snow she can grab onto. We get to the top and sit down to rest.

Sitting right on the ground, I realize how cold my fingers and toes are. Having had frost bite a few years back, they get colder easier, and it wasn't a good idea to stick them right into the snow like that. I tell my friend "This is why I don't do stuff like this anymore" as I shake my hands to indicate they're really cold. She tells me I need a girlfriend to help me warm up. I think she's right. I remember my good friend from school lives right about here. I point off to the right where a house stands a few hundred feet down a long driveway and say, "That's her house"

We're now in a car, with another friend from school, and he asks me if she's my girlfriend. I tell him, "No, but I like her. I'm not sure what will happen between us though." He asks me, "How long have you known her?"
"Since going to school"
He pauses to think... "So ,bout 3 years then?"
I don't answer, but think there were 3 years of college, plus 4 of high school, and a few more after college, so more than 8.

We drive past a cool fun looking part of the forest next to the road, and suddenly I'm outside, walking in it. Admiring the cool trees, and space between the forest growth, I walk alongside the road. It looks even cooler above a ridge. I climb up a steep hill to go there, but once I see it, it is just a regular forest, and the part I'm already on is prettier. I hold onto a few branches as I make my way down the steep part. A couple of them break when I grab them, making it a risky descent. I reach a point where there are only a few trees to hold onto, then it is too steep to walk. The trees are good sized, but I test them before committing to their support. Each one of them breaks loose from its base and falls down the hill. Happy that I didn't go for it before testing them, I notice my room mate who I hadn't seen before behind me.
"I don't know about this man, I'm turning back" he tells me, and walks away. I follow him, it is an easy route. Once I am low enough near the road, I turn around, and take a safer path alongside the road this time.

I stumble into my dad's house, with a girl I really like accompanying me. We go upstairs toward my room. She goes into my room right as I notice my younger brothers and sisters are home. They run up to greet me. I give them all hugs and we talk a bit. The youngest tells me, "I didn't think you were coming home so soon!"
"I didn't know I was either - It's good to see you!" I see my dad and step mom, and greet them too, getting a sort of cold response from my step mom, but I forget about it.

Remembering the girl I was with, I want to spend more time with her, so I invite her outside to help me mow the lawn. It seems like a strange request, but I don't really intend to mow the lawn, I just want to get her outside.

Suddenly, I'm outside, but with my other room mate. He asks me about mowing the lawn. I tell him, "just a little path" and point to a path that is already mowed. I grab a hand powered mechanical mower and start pushing it. He grabs the electric mower and asks me if it would be better. I tell him, "It would be, but I'm just doing this little area here, so I'm just gonna use the old school push mower." I push it along the path, and it churns up dried cut grass, cutting a bit of the new growth as I go.

Now, the girl is with me, but it's winter. I feel like once we get away from the house things will be better somehow. I have her follow me, but it is a long journey. We are outside already, but under the porch. At the edge of the porch, we climb down a fence, then go under a stairway with a low overhead, and reach another climbing part. I try to make sure I'm not out-climbing her, unsure of her skill. She is keeping up just fine.

...woken up by my room mate, the power went out, he wanted to make sure I wasn't late for work. I have the night off.