Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

Traversing a rocky landscape with a friend, we descend a slope, scramble past some boulders and find a massive hole. Hundreds of feet wide, it has no apparent bottom. My friend urges me to taka closer look to see how deep it is. Nearly slipping on the steep rocks in the dark, I amble my way closer until I am right near the edge. With a flashlight, I attempt to light it up to get a sense of its size, but this doesn't work. I step even closer, dangerously close to the edge, and risk my life to look forward inside.

Far down below, what seems like a mile, I see Buddha Avalokiteshvara run past, glowing with radiant white light. Wishing to be closer to Buddha, I jump into the massive hole. Landing on the bottom, it is a labyrinth of cave tunnels, filled with demon beasts. Most of them are asleep, but those immediately next to me are awakened by my mere presence. I run before they fully awake, but the caves are thick with demons, hardly even a gap to step my foot. I know Avalokiteshvara is in here somewhere so I call out his name continually as I run, waking up a massive horde of beasts, just at my heels now.

I reach a large chamber and am spontaneously armed with a gun. I shoot many of these demons and free up some space, but countless more keep coming. I shoot to keep them at bay rather than to kill, partly out of compassion, and partly to save ammo and time. Even so, my situation starts to look hopeless as I am losing ground against them, even as I run and shoot like the best gunman who ever lived.

My meditation teacher appears around the corner where I expected to find Avalokiteshvara, and at the same time as daylight quickly dawns. He is operating a flying robot, built by google, using facial recognition software, motion sensors, and laser cannons. This machine easily obliterates all the hostile creatures in an instant. I only notice it now mopping up the few stragglers who run at us from around the corners. Really confused by all this, I notice that I feel more peaceful now that I'm not running for my life. But those demons... Were they living beings or just personifications of something abstract?

Somehow, I am Arnold Schwarzenegger in the prime of his body building career. Jogging down the street, a pack of vicious beasts, sort of like a cross between wild boars, and jackals, surrounds me, snarling and baring their teeth. Saliva dripping from their mouths, they intend to tear me to pieces. One of them jumps at me, I grab it by the upper jaw and my other hand on its lower jaw, and rip its face in half. The other beasts see this and run away, leaving me in peace.

I remember that it is very important to retrieve something from a nearby store. Something that is rightfully mine, that I now have to 'steal' to recover. I go into the store, and find it. That was easy. I turn around to leave, but the staff, all magical elves, are blocking my exit, telling me to put it back. I know I'm just doing what's right here, so I ignore them and walk through a group of them. I'm too big for them to stop me, and their pulling at my arms and legs hardly slows me down at all.

One of the elves jumps up in front of me, and sprinkles some glittery powder all over my hands and the objects I am holding. It burns a little, but not very much. The elf laughs as he hops away at they let me leave. Before I get to the exit, everything I am holding starts fading in and out of reality, eventually disappearing all together. Now I understand what that powder was for - to keep people from walking out with stuff without paying for it...