Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I'm scaling a steep cliff on the side of a mountain fortress with a large group of medieval soldiers seeking to take over the castle up ahead. It is a difficult climb, and all progress is halted as the defenders unleash a massive deluge of boiling hot oil that spashes down the cliff. Fortunately, it's steep enough that we just press ourselves flat into the rock, and the oil flows just over us all, missing us by just a few feet. Then some sort of god flies out of the castle and levitates above the stone walls as he laughs at us. He thinks it is barely worth his concern, but nevertheless throws a few fire balls at us. Several people are killed instantly.

He looks over at me, and now seems threatened somewhat. With a spin, he disappears from sight, and I am immediately teleported to a small town inside the castle walls. Somehow we breached the castle and there is utter chaos as people are running everywhere. It turns out everyone is running because there is an army of Djinns (the kind from the show 'Supernatural') - a kind of genie that puts people to sleep, fulfilling all their wishes in their dreams while draining their blood and killing them in the process. Just one is scary, but there are over a hundred here.

I am immediately surrounded by about a dozen of them. I'm not quite sure what to do about this. Before I come up with a plan, one of the female Djinns (and quite an attractive one I may add) tells the others to step aside and watch. She holds out her hand and uses telekinesis to spin my body around. I want to fight it, but just go limp as all my muscles relax. She softly lays my body on the packed dirt ground and closes my eyes all with telekinesis. This is the part where the nice dream is supposed to start. I'm given a moment to choose, but can't decide what to dream about.

The moment is gone, and there will be no pleasant dreams for me apparently. Since the Djinns are psychic, they know that I'm awake in my body, even though my eyes are closed and I cannot move it. I can still feel everything. They take delight in knowing that I'll be able to feel all the pain of being slowly drained of blood until I die, with nothing I can do about it. I feel a sharp stabbing pain as a large gauge needle is roughly stabbed into my arm.

Rather than languish in pain as I am slowly killed, I imagine that I'm someone else. Someone very alive, and experiencing blissfully pleasant feelings. I know it's not real, but I decide to believe it anyway because the more I do, the more real it becomes, and the more this excruciating painful death seems like a distant memory than a current reality.

Right before I fully switch to being someone else, I wake up.

Playing a game of "keep the balloon ball in the air" with a couple girls, we volley it around the living room for a bit, trying to hit it as few times as possible as we pass it between us, and keep it off the ground.

I fall down as I dive for it, managing to keep it off the ground. They are amused by this. One of them is really shy and goes to the top of the stairs. The ball is slowly settling toward the floor. I use telekinesis to bring the ball directly to my hand, hold it there for a few moments, then send it against gravity up to the shy girl.

They are both really surprised by this, and ask how I did it. I try to hide the fact that it was telekinesis and tell them it was just static electricity. The non-shy girl tells me to do it again. I tell her I probably shouldn't show off in public.

Waiting in line for some cafeteria food at a university, I suspect I might be dreaming. I do a reality check by seeing if I can put my hand through the cinder block wall. I can! Now that I'm dreaming, I don't have to wait in line at all. I use telekinesis to pull fried chicken from across the room into my outstretched hand. Catching it, I put it on my plate as I hold my tray with my other hand.

Not that interested in food since I'm dreaming, I just sit down at one of the cafeteria tables, and run my hand through them like water. It feels really cool. After a bit of doing this, I look up and see none other than Chuck Norris sitting across from me. "Holy Sh!t, it's Chuck Norris!" I yell to get everyone's attention. I forget I'm dreaming as I assume everyone would appreciate being graced by Chuck Norris' company....

I am hired for a temporary janitor position at the college where I was a janitor for a year in the past. Hired onto my old crew, only a couple people have stuck around, the rest are really brand new to janitor work. One new guy is showing me the ropes, even though I know more than he does. Not being one to over-talk people, I am unable to let them know that I actually know what I'm doing, and have spent more time cleaning this exact building than all of them have combined....

We all get ready to head off to our particular areas, and I show one of the guys where I usually park my bicycle so he has a safe place for his as well. I remember my friend who got his bike stolen during his work shift, and have since found a better spot to park it. I have him follow me up the elevator in A wing. I get off on the wrong floor, and have to get on another elevator. This time, people are getting off, and some other people want to get on and go down instead of up, so I get back out and board the elevator across the room instead. Reaching the top floor, we cross a big bridge to C Wing, and I realize it would've been easier to just enter C Wing from outside instead of our approach. Too late now though.

There is a secret elevator that only maintenance workers and janitors have access to with our special keys that takes you to a remote mechanical room in the center of the building - perfectly safe place to lock a bike! I forgot to grab my set of keys, so instead, I go to a balcony that is rather exposed and uncomfortable for potential thieves to do their work. There is an elevator that leads down the the balcony. I wait for it, as my co-worker takes the stairs and then a ramp down to the balcony. I get on the elevator, this one is just a platform, open sides, like a lift in a factory or something, and ride it down 6 ft to the balcony where I lock my bike.

I think I'll need my set of janitor-keys, so I start to walk back toward the supervisor's office. Suddenly she is right in front of me, and hands me my set of keys! She also gives me a paper with a list of what tasks I have to do for that day. It's impossibly long, but I'm feeling confident. Some of the other janitors on my crew are nearby, and ask what I have to do on my sheet. I start to unfold it again, but before I can get a good look at it, an 18 Wheeler Grocery delivery driver turns the corner, panicked because he's lost. He looks really beaten up, lots of black and blues on his face, and some cuts and scrapes all over. A black eye too! I point the way back to his truck, and then suggest that he probably does MMA fighting like the other guy I know, and I wouldn't mess with those guys. It sounds fun, but I've never done it.

I start to float around through the air, and fly down a hallway at walking speed, back to the top of C-Wing near where my bike is parked. There is a party up on top, lots of loud music and people drinking unknown beverages. Police are there too, but don't seem to care about the loud music or anything. I turn down a few drinks, and avoid the police just out of habit. They are super offended that I am not drinking with them. I realize that my facebook profile makes it look like I drink, so I adjust my details from my phone, giving their drinking party a personal rating of 2/5 for me. I think that's a bit harsh, so I change it to 3/5. Somehow, they get notified that I rated them 3/5 and get even more upset at me. I try to explain why I did that, and don't do drugs. They just storm off, not hearing a word I say.

I walk toward my bicycle to make sure it is locked, and instead of finding my bicycle, I find an operating room, white walls, white floor, white ceiling, and a patient with some serious tubing coming out of his arm from his heart. He is a clone, about to be killed to have his organs harvested because the person he was cloned from needed an organ transplant. Also, someone needs his blood urgently. He looks like he's already dead, just on artificial breathing, with machines pumping blood around to keep the organs fresh for the next few minutes. I feel like I'm a clone too, waiting to be harvested for the person I'm cloned from. Well, "nothing to lose then". I pull one of the tubes out of him, and blood starts squirting out of it. For some reason, I have to really get a lot of blood. I don't know how I know this. So I pull the next tube, and more blood comes out. The surgeons start shouting at me as I pull the whole apparatus out of the guy's arm and a deluge of blood rushes out like a fire hose. Kinda gross... Before he loses all his blood, he is re-cloned. This clone of the clone sees me doing this, and gets really pissed off, and throws random surgical equipment at me in a rage. One of the other people I'm with is spontaneously cloned as well, and both of them start to chase me. Since I'm a clone, I know this isn't real, which means I have telekinesis.

I run away from them, not really concerned about any of this because it's not real. I use my telekinesis to pull debris and sharp objects into their path as I run down a metal bridge connecting two tall buildings as I pass through this void type area, surrounded by darkness except for the bridge, myself, and my pursuers. Some more people appear on the other side of the bridge and they surround me. Just as Neo would do in the Matrix, I use telekinesis to stop space and time around me, rendering everyone harmless and ridiculously slow. As I do this, the clone of the guy I was bloodletting comes to understand me, and there is peace between us. Immediately, there is also peace between the others who were attacking me as well, and it seems all conflicts have been resolved.

Sneaking into a military compound of sorts, there are multiple levels of concentric balconies surrounding a central structure, every bit of which is teaming with guards. There is a bomb that is set to explode soon which will kill a bunch of innocent people. Looking at how heavily guarded the bomb platform is I think, "This is going to be really difficult, but those people in there need me, so I don't have a choice"

Vastly outnumbered, I try to remain unseen as I creep into the central structure. There is no roof on the central structure, but the whole compound area seems to be in a building that resembles a covered football arena, only never meant for sports. One of the guards spots me and immediately starts shooting. I jump into an adjacent room to dodge the gunfire, but not fast enough as a bullet tears through my abdomen. All I can think is, "It burns so much!" as I crumple to the floor behind a large metal desk. Trying to crawl to a safe place, I drag myself across the floor, but the guards have me surrounded now. Sadistically, they plan to kill me slowly, in the most painful way possible. They taunt me and laugh to each other, trying to instill fear in me. Rather than be afraid, I simply prepare to die. Loving the guards now, I alertly observe their actions to see what they will do next. One of them shoots me in the foot. It really hurts! On impulse, I pull my shoe off, and apply pressure to my blood soaked sock as my foot throbs in pain. Noticing how much blood I'm losing I become lucid!

I realize that I cannot be harmed now that I am lucid. Just in time - another guard runs towards me and rams a knife through my stomach! I am a little surprised at this, and yet confident that I am indeed still dreaming and there is no pain. "I could feel the pain from this" I ponder, but decide not to go there right now. Screaming at me, the guard pulls the knife out and stabs me again, but in the chest. I have to consciously decide to have his knife just pass through me unhindered, but it is worth doing for now. A handful of other guards surround me and start pulling at my arms and grabbing me to hold me in place.

Feeling a little too close for comfort with all these hostile DCs, I levitate a good 15 ft above them so as to be out of their reach. This works, until they start shooting at me. Really, it's very loud, and distracting to have all that gunfire so close. I float out of their line of sight and contemplate my options, "I could do anything now that I'm lucid. There's not even a real bomb, no one will get hurt, so I don't have to defuse it anymore... What should I do?"

I decide that it is an interesting challenge, and even though the innocent DCs don't exist, and that this whole scenario doesn't exist, I still want to defuse the bomb to save them. It seems like the moral thing to do, and I want to follow my good intentions more anyway.

Floating around the corner, I get a peek at the bomb on the top level of the building, complete with a rats nest of wires, and a pulsing red light. It reminds me of Counter Strike for some reason. There are a lot of guards nearby, and each time I poke my head around the corner, there is a hail of gunfire. It's easier to dodge than to allow to pass through me. I hear the timer on the bomb tick down, and know there is only 17 seconds left before it explodes. "That's not much time to work with!"

So, I turn on the cheats, decide that the hostile DCs' guns no longer shoot bullets (without their knowledge), float into line of sight with the bomb, and use telekinesis to break the bomb into individual parts, levitating each one of them out in the air so it looks like one of those exploded view engineering diagrams, frozen in space. As I do so, the timer clicks to zero, and makes a loud buzzing noise. I find it to be a very annoying sound, but at least the bomb cannot explode now. I feel satisfied with my choice there.

Now, if only I can stop this buzzing!

I gradually become aware that it is in fact the same buzzing as my alarm clock as I wake up and my room fades into view.