Jakro Goes Hardcore Into LDs

My recall stays fragmented and I seem to not have any weapons against that. I usually only remember the last bit before waking up. Still, at least something every day. So let's head back to the past again. We have now reached July 2009, my best ever lucid month - 8 lucids in a month. To make that record, I had to have a lucid right on the first night of July. So let's delve into it.

Sex-filled Lucid with Bananas and Hairy-assed Fat Dudes <- My best headline so far.
Date: July 1st
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

My phone was calling people on it's own. It was possessed. It called to some unknown guy and then other unknown voice insulted the one who answered. Answerer got really upset for being called and insulted in the middle of the night. I was trying to explain that it wasn't me and that some unknown source is controlling my phone. I doubt he bought it.

I was panicking. I tried to shut it down. It restarted on it's own. I tried removing the battery. It didn't work. I was really getting desperate, until all the sudden I came to my senses. "Wait a minute... This kind of thing can't happen... I must be dreaming."

After the nose test confirmed that I was dreaming, and me being a raging dick, the logical conclusion was that I'd proceed to having some hot lucid sex. Unfortunately it wasn't that hot, in fact it didn't feel like anything. So after a quickie I decided that I'd try to do the challenge that was in effect in our forum. It was still the same as my last lucid - try to ask some kind of life advice, wisdom etc. from one of our real life buddies. So I decided to again get my hands to my buddy Niko.

Again I used passive control and just presumed that he would for some reason be in the room next to our shower - he indeed was. What's this thing with Niko and our shower? Why it seemed that I always found him near there? What was he doing there? Well, all I know is that he had a rake on his hands, so I guess he was raking the leaves... inside the house. Okay, it doesn't make any sense.

Niko's dream self was pretty annoying, far more annoying than his real self. When I started talking to him, he said jokingly that he could hit me in the head with that rake. I just calmly answered "you might as well do that, as this is only a dream." He didn't react to that. I lead the conversation to our forum thread and to the challenge so that it was natural for me to ask the question.
"So how you do you pick up a ton of women like you do?" I finally asked.
"Yeah, I certainly do", He answered smugly. That was no answer. Idiot.
"Yeah yeah, but why?!" I continued.
"Well", Niko started and got more serious, "it depends on the location etc..."

I guess that's true. To pick up tons of women, you gotta be near tons of women. Now that the challenge and sex were both done, I continued by simply being curious about the world around me. I tasted some bananas I ramdomly found. They tasted the usual, maybe a bit more lame than usual. Then I proceeded to have more sex. Yeah, I'm a raging dick. Some nude, hairy fat dude was wandering in the background during the act. I guess I'm fucked up. Also I started concentrating too much on the woman's breast and they turned into this mutilated mess of details as my brains kept twisting them. I needed to look away.

Finally I woke up. Well, that had lasted pretty long anyway, I consoled myself. I was also excited to go post this into our forum. I routinely still did the nose test. Wait a minute, I'm not even awake yet! I guess that's the difference between me then and now, I now struggle doing reality tests routinely straight when I wake up.

I wasn't sure if I'd remember the first instance with Niko, so I decided to be safe and go ask him something more. He was still there in the room next to the showers.
"So what are you exactly doing in here?" I asked to sate my curiosity.
"I'm cleaning", he answered.
"Yeah, but why are you cleaning here?"
"I'm cleaning!" He said with more force.

Dream ended there and I woke up.

Poor recall continues, but at least I've managed to recall something every single night this year so far. But we have plenty of dreams to look into in the meanwhile from the past three years, so I'll continue with those. This one's very basic though.

Just a General Lucid
Date: May 23rd, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I attained lucidity after WBTB by making a reality check after noticing something was off.

I was outside and it was winter. My brother was laying in the snow and I threatened to give him a snow bath. I didn't do it though. I looked inside through a big window in our house. There were some weird duded. They made the peace gesture with their fingers. I answered back with my hand, then turned it into \,,/ and then reversed the peace gesture into something less cordial.

The dream was fading though. I tried to spin to restabilize it, but it didn't work. Then I tried throwing myself into the ground back first. Boom! That worked and the dream got clear again. Crystal clear, should I say.

It was still dark and wintery. I went inside the house and it seemed like there was somekind of party or celebration going on. I presumed it was Christmas, but didn't delve into it any further, as I remember the challenge - as in the monthly lucid dreaming challenge in my own forum. It was to get my hands to one of my friends, Niko and ask him something.

I relied on the passive control to make him appear. I started shouting "Niko are you there?" to the toilet. "Yeah, I'm here", my brother answered sarcastically. Somehow he had managed already to get in.
"Have you seen Niko?" I asked, but I was given no answer. I kept going and trusted that he is bound to appear if I keep up.

Finally I found Niko near our shower. He seemed unnaturally happy. I went right into it.
"As you remember Niko, there's the challenge in our forum. So could you tell me some kind of advice for life or something."

I don't remember the exact answer, but the message was, that "if you do something, do it right."
"YOU BETTER CRAM IT SO YOU DON'T FORGET IT", Niko advised then, shouting manically. I went it through once in my head before moving on.

Now that the challenge was out of the way I decided to find out what day it was in the dream. I went to kitchen and asked my mom. She seemed tense, but finally answered to me: 5th of June 2010. What? It is summer? Then why is it so dark and why is there winter outside?

There was no signs of dream fading, but I wasn't used to dreams lasting so long. So I decided to stabilize it further just in case. I touched all kinds of surfaces and then found some bottle on the floor. I picked it up and took a sip. Eww, it tasted bad!

Finally I realized that just wandering around in the home isn't exactly what I want to do in a lucid dream. I can do it enough in the waking life as it is.

I went outside, started running and then just leaped off the ground. It was awesome. Gravity was in effect, but I could do long and high jumps, much higher than the treetops.

But by the time I dropped I had exited my body and I was losing my lucidity as well. No I was instead playing some game where the character flies with a hang glider. Soon he hit the ground and was surrounded by enemies. He was filled with arrows.

I then woke up from my game death in front of some kind of firing squad. I told the guy next to me that I'm not going out without a fight. I moved my hand to my sword. What, I had a sword now?

It turned out to be duel to the death. I was up against some kind of... maintenance guy. What the hell is up with these dudes? He seemed kind of tough, but I just told him to go fix a lamppost. The fight never commenced - I woke up before that